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    #68970 Community Rules and Guidelines

    Posted by MellyBoo19912015 on 06 September 2016 - 06:10 PM

    Per the request of members, we have revisited & expanded upon the previous rules so they are more clear & concise.

    General Etiquette
    • No harassment or trolling. We define this to be undertaking in actions that repeatedly and deliberately cause distress to one or more users.
    • Whilst we respect healthy debate, we do ask that you do so with respect and do not personally attack the other people you're debating with.
    • We expect that all our members are respectful and courteous not only of each other but of our staff.
    • You need to be at least 18 years of age to participate in this community. Users found to be below 18 will be removed from the site.
    • Promotion or interest shown in minors (age less than 18) joining or being a part of the DDLG Lifestyle will result in a ban. Regardless of your State or Country Laws.
    • No discussion of sexual activities involving actual minors, incest or rape. Fantasy or not.
    • Discussion or promotion of illegal sexual activities including but not limited to bestiality will not be tolerated and will result in an immediate ban.
    • Under no circumstances is it acceptable to upload or share any media content including but not limited to photos and videos of anyone under the age of 18, doing so will result in an immediate ban.
    • No uploading pictures with multiple people in them, or pictures of other people. We cannot guarantee that you have that person's permission to do so.
    • No uploading or sharing of content of a pornographic nature or nudity. This includes nipples, regardless of your gender, sexual organs or nude buttocks. Please see this post for further photo restrictions https://www.ddlgforu...ery/#entry94300
    • It is not acceptable to post contact details or social media details of other people on the site. We cannot guarantee you have their permission to do so.
    • Do not upload images of other people famous or not, and claim to be them.
    • Do not upload any images which are NSFW, seductive, or sexualized in nature.
    • Do not use pet names or nicknames with people you do not know. Some people get uncomfortable with them, so at the very least please check first. Some people don't like being called things such as "babygirl", "princess, "sir", "daddy", "sweetheart" or "honey". It is best to refer to users by their Username.
    • No discussing or advertising outside social media sites or groups in public chat or on the threads. Feel free to talk to your friends in private but we can not be held liable for any issues that go on in these sites or groups.
    • Do not speak ill of other members (past or present) in chat or publicly on the forum.
    • No "mini-modding"; mini-modding is when a regular member acts like a moderator without having the authority to do so. Leave the warnings and enforcement of rules to forum staff as it’s likely you will just escalate the situation otherwise. If you are having an issue with a member or see something in clear violation of the rules, use the report feature.
    • Report members that are underage or acting predatory.
    • No couples accounts or multiple user accounts. This is due to catfishing concerns and not wanting to unfairly punish one member for another member's actions
    • No multiple accounts. If you want to make a new account, delete the current one. If you forget your password for an old account, please contact a member of the moderating team right away.
    • Please do not ask for or give advice regards medical conditions or mental health issues. We understand your wish to help but each person is different and without meaning to the information you could be providing may cause more harm than good. Please leave it to the off site professionals.
    • The promotion of or positive reference to eating disorders will not be tolerated. This is including but not limited to terminology such as thinspiration or proana.
    • We will not tolerate any negative comments or discussion which could be interpreted as racism. This is not limited to but includes antagonism directed against someone of ANY different race.
    • Any person found screenshotting ANY aspect of the site and reposting it or sharing it externally will be immediately and permanently banned from the site.
      This includes any details of any members which have been posted on the site or any activities, photos or site content. **Please note that reports about members, incidents etc do need screen shots so taking screen shots in this instance is acceptable.**
    • Catfishing is against the rules of this forum and will result in an automatic ban. Catfishing is defined as someone who pretends to be someone they're not using social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.
    Threads & Posts
    • Try your best not to triple post. Double post is fine (duplicate posts can be removed).
    • You are allowed to bump any of your threads once every 24 hours.
    • Fishing for likes is not allowed. Threads or posts cannot contain comments like "Like my post and I'll give you my kik!".
    • No off-topic replies to threads.
    • Try to put things in the appropriate sections. If you're not sure where to put something, ask forum staff.
    • You can make as many topics and threads as you please, as long as you aren’t spamming the forum. Try to see if the topic has already been discussed (there is a search feature).
    • If you wish to have a thread or post deleted, contact a member of the Moderating Team.
    • If you share a link that is NSFW (Not Safe For Work), please tag it as such.
    • Solicitation is defined as offering something of value whether monetary or possessions in return for sexual activity of any type whether in real life or via cam, we do not condone such posts, threads or behaviour.
    • Self promotion of your creative side and posting of your art etc is encouraged, however public promotion of external sites whereby you personally gain profit is not allowed. This includes threads asking for ideas for a buisness in which you stand to gain monitarily.
    Personals
    • Please follow the personals format. Failure to do this will result to your personal being deleted and you having to start again.
    • Our reply facility for personals has a 75 word minimum. This is to insure that people receive quality replies. Please do not use filler text to meet the minimum word count. If you’re having trouble replying maybe write it out before-hand, elsewhere and see how you can improve it.
    • Do not spam the personals with copied and pasted responses, doing so will result in the posts being deleted and you given a warning point.
    • Multiple personals are not allowed, if you wish or need to change a personal feel free to edit or bump a personal.
    • Note that multiple personals will be allowed if one is for friendship and another is for a relationship. Anymore than one of each will be seen as duplicates and be deleted
    • Writing personal ads on behalf of other people is not permitted as we cannot guarantee that the person you're making the post for is real, who you claim to be, etc.
    • Personals will only be deleted on a case by case basis following discussion with a moderator and will be dependent on the relevant reason.
    • Other people's personals are there for them to reply to their replies. It is not ok to use another persons personal to reply to someone who has shown interest in them and not you.
    Chat room
    • You are free to express any opinions so long as they don't go against our general etiquette guidelines.
    • Whilst we respect healthy debate we do ask that you do so with respect and do not personally attack the other people you're debating with.
    • Be mindful of other users and potentially triggering comments.
    • We get relationships can be tough but chat is not a battleground. If you have issues with your partner take it to private. It's not fair for everyone else to have to observe.
    • Try to avoid excessive PDA and role playing, it makes other members uncomfortable and can make it hard for others to join in.
    • Be respectful and civil of all members in chat regardless of your personal feelings towards them.
    • Try your best to be nice to new members. Entering the chat room can be intimidating if you don't know anyone in it. Greet new faces when they enter. Engage with people that feel left out. All these things promote a good atmosphere in there.
    • If you post a link in the chat, Please tell the users what the link is too. If a Mod asks you to give more detail about the link, please give more detail. Tag links SFW (Safe For Work) or NSFW (Not Safe For Work)
    • If a member of the moderation team asks you to stop doing something, please stop. Feel free to message them privately for more information if you are confused.
    • The moderation team reserves the right to remove people from the chat, temporarily or permanently, based on their behaviour and respect towards the members of this site, and it's rules.
    Staff reserve the right to:
    • Terminate a user’s account at their discretion. If you violate a concern not explicitly outlined in the Community Rules & Guidelines, staff may terminate, suspend or post restrict your account provided a majority of the staff agree that action must be taken.
    • Update and/or modify the rules. We cannot always foresee future problems. If a situation does arise that is not clearly written in the rules, we will alter the rules and act upon the situation.

    • PrincessBriiBaby, Boreas74, saraisatigeeer and 78 others like this


    #64425 Self Care Master Post

    Posted by Spooky on 12 August 2016 - 07:15 PM

    This started as a resource for the single pringle littles! It quickly evolved into some monsterous taking care of yourself master post. Regardless I think anyone can get something from this post!

     

     

    Relaxation

     

    No frill, no fluff, just good old fashioned relaxing.

    • Meditation, for how to and techniques check out this site!
    • Bubble baths, doesn't even have to be bubbly, just relax in some warm water! Light candles and play some music.  (You can ball out and get some relaxation orientated bath salts and bubble bath too!)
    • Lush bath bombs are all the rage right now. You can make your own bath fizzies, great for personal use or a gift! Make alone or with friends/family!
    • Take a walk!
    • Lavender everything! Lavender essential oil, candles, bedding spray, candles, air fresheners. The most soothing scent known to mankind, just inhale and relax.
    • Get away from screens! Set a task for yourself that isn't screen orientated, dust off those old cooking books, do some light cleaning, take the pooch out for a walk and take some time away from the digital world. 
    • CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN!!!!!!! Cleaning can be so therapeutic for you. A clean home is a happy home. You will feel the benefits of a clean home/room immediately. 
    • Colour! Colouring books can be super cheap and super easy to do, fantastic for focusing on something and calming down, you can get more expensive and better detailed books that are relaxation orientated. 

    Relaxing Online!

     

    Watch a guy make bread ~ Okay, I know how silly this seems but oh my gosh, it is SO soothing!

     

    Sand Art ~ Create art with sand, super duper soothing and relaxing. Available on iPhone and Android!

     

    Calm ~ A free program for daily peace and mindfulness

     

    Flow ~ Super calming game, like super chill

     

    Mental Health!

     

    Many of us suffer from a variety of mental disorders, even if you don't surely you have felt some pressures, anxiety and sadness. The following is bunch of random happy, healthy sites and apps to help you cope!

     

    Apps!

     

    Moodtrack Diary ~ For Android Phones free, offers in app purchases. Does what it says, really nice way of tracking your moods and seeing what triggers certain moods.

     

    Coach.me ~ For both iPhone and Android, free, offers in app purchases. Make a goal and record your progress towards it! Super easy to use!

     

    Booster Buddy ~ For both iPhone and Android, free! Super cute app, complete with furry friends to help you! Tracks daily moods, helps keep track of medication and appointments, even has self care routines!

     

    Websites!

     

    myNoise~ Customized sounds for peace and tranquility, iPhone users can even get the app for it!

     

    BlahTherapy ~ Vent to or listen to vents from strangers! You can pay to talk to a therapist as well! Strangers are free!

     

    Things you can do every day!

    • Don't forget your medication, it can often be a downer on us but medication is so important, make sure you are taking yours properly
    • Write it out, I am such an advocate for journals. Mood journals, goal journals, health journals, JOURNAL IT ALL!!!! Writing is amazing for putting things into perspective. Even if you don't daily journal, it can be so helpful for you! It is also super fun to look back on old journals and look at how far you have grown as a person.
    • Don't beat yourself up. Regardless of what mental disorder you are struggling with, you are guaranteed some bad days. Everyone is guaranteed some bad days. Don't let them get you down and stop you from growing, learn from your mistakes and make the most of it.
    • Make a comfort box! Take an old box and fill it with comfort items (soft blankets, glitter jars, herbal tea, puzzles, stress balls, stickers, essential oils, notes with positive quotes, stuffies, candy, colouring books, soft sweater, pictures of loved ones and pets), get out the box whenever you are feeling overwhelmed and use it to get comfortable!
    • Happy Light! These are super cool and super great, they help a lot in the winter to keep your energy up and revitalize you. Also great if you are up late studying/working.

     

    Exercise! 

     

    Exercising is so important, not just for physical health but mental health as well. Studies have shown that exercising is beneficial for anxiety, stress, depression, improving sleeping patterns, memory and so much more! Whether it is a walk around the block or some intensive weight lifting, it all helps!!

     

    Yoga ~ Yoga with Adriene, my personal recommendation for online yoga. Free YouTube videos!! This woman is incredible, so positive and happy. Whether you are a beginner or yoga master, you will love her. Regardless of shape, size or current exercise regiment, you can do yoga! Benefits and more about yoga.

     

    SWORKIT ~ an app for iPhone or Androids, free (some costs to upgrade, in my experience not necessary). Shows you how to do individual moves, good for cardio, weight lifting and yoga! Daily reminders and so easy to use!

     

    MapMyWalk ~ an app for iPhone or Androids, free. Maps your walk! Shows you how far you have walked, time per walk and split miles! You can add friends and compare or challenge each other! Fantastic regardless of your intensity or frequency. 

     

    Food!

     

    No matter what, it is important to feed yourself! The following are some yummy links you can make alone or with any friends or family members! 

     

    No More Ramen ~ Cheap, easy recipes. Categorized and includes; Vegan, Vegetarian and Gluten Free. Really amazing blog with tons of options!!

    `

    Really Nice Recipes Ever Hour ~ seriously, every hour something new and delicious, easy to follow recipes 

     

    Molten Lava Cakes ~ I am secretly obsessed with these, so yummy and rich!

     

    Strawberry or Blueberry Frozen Fruit Popsicles ~ takes some time to make but so delicious and refreshing!

     

    Three Ingredient Brownies! ~ Nutella Brownies, can you say YUMMMO

     

    Cookie Dough Yogurt ~ takes less than five minutes to make your normal yogurt yummy

     

    For Vegans!!

     

    Blueberry Muffins ~ a classic muffin with a healthy, vegan twist

     

    Strawberry Cheesecake Bites ~ they look so CUTE and yummy! Can replace with any berry!

     

    Peanut Butter Cups ~ SUPER SUPER SIMPLE! takes about 15mins and only two ingredients!

     

    Chocolate Chip Banana Bread ~ super yummy! 

     

    TREAT YO SELF

     

    Cheap easy ways to TREAT YO SELF!!

    • Self manicure/pedicure. Almost everyone has some nail polish lying around and if you don't, your local pharmacy is sure to have some for cheap!
    • Martha Stewart's Bath Fizzies, super easy, with a video to follow along with! I had molds and essential oils lying around so it was pretty cheap for me to make these but if you splurge once on the more expensive stuff, you can make them over and over again for super cheap! Did I mention they are superb gifts?!
    • Netflix & Chill with yourself! Take a day off to unwind and binge watch your guilty pleasures!
    • Dark Chocolate! Dark Chocolate is full of Antioxidants and full of nutrients!
    • Get rid of some junk! Yeah it seems less fun than some of the other ideas but you will be thanking yourself when you donate all those never worn clothes and make room for some new ones :p
    • Epsom Salts, super cheap and super soothing
    • If you have a nearby Target, get yourself a 99 cent face mask and relax!
    • Take a nap!
    • Make some comfort food!
    • Browse through Amazon, there are some amazing deals on there and at the very least you can make a cart for the future
    • Drink water!!! STAY HYDRATED! If you want to get fancy with it, add some cucumbers, lemon, watermelon or any other fruit you have on hand!

    tumblr_nkaq24hVro1qj4315o1_500.gif

     

     

     

    I will more than likely be adding things to this post over time, I hope you guys enjoy!!!


    • Cuppiecakes, PrincessCupcake25, Sweet Lil Buttercup and 50 others like this


    #87658 No "True" Way

    Posted by MellyBoo19912015 on 04 January 2017 - 07:11 PM

    Well hi there everyone. Let me introduce myself to those of you who won't know me. I'm Melly and I'm an admin here and one of the resident bad asses. I'm writing today because I'm noticing a worrying trend. I'm seeing a lot of people boasting about knowing the one true way.

    Let me tell you right now, there is no true way. It does not exist. The wonders about life and BDSM and CG/l or whatever you call it is that we can make it whatever we want in our relationships. We can chose and chop and adapt it to fit us. I don't care if as part of your relationship rituals you rub you partners cock three times and play the Hokey Cokey before bed. What I care about here is that your over the age of 18, if you have a partner they are over 18, you follow the rules, you be yourself and that your Safe, Sane and Consensual. SSC is the only part of all BDSM practises I expect everyone to follow.

    Your all great, amazing people and don't let others restrict who you are. Know here we accept everyone and you will be respected. This is meant to be a safe haven for people in this lifestyle and will continue to be so.
    • MissJellybean, PrincessCupcake25, CharlieFPG and 43 others like this


    #60995 Types of Littles

    Posted by Spooky on 24 July 2016 - 05:07 PM

    The following is a very general and very basic list and explanation of different types of Littles!

     

    ADULT BABY ~ An Adult Baby is a little with the youngest age regression. Think diapers, pacis and sippy bottles/cups, cribs and tons of stuffies!

     

    BABYGIRL ~ A Babygirl doesn't necessarily identity with a certain age. They are emotionally sensitive and child-like in life. Tend to be submissive. 

     

    BRATS ~ A brat can be either submissive or a non-submissive. Some like to disobey to be tamed or just enjoy mild to extreme punishment. Whereas some just do not wish to submit or to be punished, just want their way. A brat can be in any age range!

     

    LITTLES ~ Little is just a broad term for a wide age range! A term for someone who isn't sure what their little age is, or just has a fluctuating age range!

     

    MIDDLES ~ A middle is a general term of an older little. A bit older on the age scale, anywhere from 7 to the double digits. Generally more independent and enjoy cartoons, colouring and tons and tons of stuffies!

     

    NYMPHETS ~ A middle who is generally bratty, promiscuous and sexually forward. 

     

    PETS ~ This is a more broad range, including; kittens, bunnies, wolves, puppies, foxes and many, many more. Much like a kitten they can be any age range and enjoy being played with, pet and taken care of! Again, think collars, cute ears, tags, toys and tails!

     

    KITTENS ~ A kitten is a more popular pet in DDLG. Enjoy being pet, played with and taken care of. A Kitten can be any age as well. Think cute little kitten ears, collars, tags, toys and tails!

     

    IMPS~ An imp is similar to a pet, many of them enjoy being collared, played with and taken care of. What defines an imp is their mischievous ways (similar to a brat).

     

    SWITCHES ~ A switch is someone who identifies as both a Little and a Caregiver. How often one goes into Caregiver or Little mode is dependent on the individual.

     

    DOMINANT LITTLES ~ A dominant little is a little that “calls the shots” in a DD/LG relationship, they still like to be taken care of and need the same amount of nurturing and love as any other little.

     

    SUBMISSIVES~ A submissive is a broad term that can encompass and be embodied by any little at any age. They enjoy being dominated and being taken care of.

     

     

    Keep in mind these are all very general and very basic archetypes of different types of littles. You can be more than one type of little or maybe none of these of all!

    What defines you being a little is not the terminology, just the fact that you are a little.

    If you don't feel as though you fit into any of these terms, do not fret!

    If there are any missing Little Types, please feel free to message me and I will add it on!

    If there is anything more I should add to any definitions, message me!


    • KindBabyDaddy, LordEmtheDinosaur!, Lillin and 39 others like this


    #105233 'Fake Daddies'

    Posted by MellyBoo19912015 on 27 April 2017 - 08:42 PM

    Right people it's rare I make official posts but it seems we have a situation that has gotten out of hand. I'm talking about this Fake Daddy nonsense. Now there are without a doubt some people who misrepresent themselves as fake, little and caregiver alike. Now everyone has different hopes and wishes to do with what they want their future partner in this dynamic to be like or how we expect people to behave. Now obviously there are some general things everyone hopes for: respect, care, decency and honesty being a few of them. Then we have individual wishes and hopes. For example I don't like receiving lots of gifts so one of mine and Daddy's thing is we restrict those to special occasions and holidays. Does that make him fake because he doesn't randomly spoil me? No because it's what we want.

    Now if people think that a member of any type of position in this is fake or predatory you can report them. This won't be anonymous as staff will know who reported and we will expect evidence to look at but that's because we give everyone here a fair crack at the whip and the lack of anonymous reporting means we can stop people maliciously reporting people and can deal with that. We are here to protect this community so if there is something bad happening report it!

    Just think before you say just because someone does or doesn't do something you like that they are fake. Everyone has different expectations in this dynamic as everyone is different. We all like and want different things. Just enjoy your time here, chat, relax and have fun. Think before you call someone fake.
    • CuddleMonster89, LordEmtheDinosaur!, qtpie and 36 others like this


    #71210 Bullying

    Posted by MellyBoo19912015 on 19 September 2016 - 01:39 PM

    As a team the staff on this site have noticed a very worrying trend (and no it's not a retro clothing return lol). We have noticed people joining up in mobs and attacking other users for things they don't approve of. That my good people is bullying, plain and simple. Those of you who know me know I don't get mad about too many things, bullying however is one of them.

    Victims of bullying are 7-9% more likely to consider suicide than in general according to a Yale university study. Suicide itself has a devastating impact on those left behind. Bullying is also seen as a cause of self harm which in some cases can come before suicide. Imagine if a friend or loved one was being bullied. It's not nice to think about is it?

    People here are bound to have different opinions and arguments etc. That's normal in a community. However bullying isn't and shouldn't be. If you have issues with a user then message a mod or admin or use the report button. If you have differing opinions keep an open mind and be respectful of others. This community should be a relatively safe place for others so think before you type, keep an open mind and mind your manners.
    • ToraHime, MissJellybean, Emma337 and 35 others like this


    #43664 How it feels to be big

    Posted by wolfdaddy on 11 March 2016 - 11:43 PM

    Hi all!

     

    By way of a first post to these forums, I hope it's OK to use this space to share my experience of being big - what I love about it and why. I hope this might provide some insight into why this daddy loves to be one, and what he is getting out of his side of the relationship.

     

     

    So here goes   :)

     

     

    I love to teach you things. I've devoted so much of my life to learning and it makes that effort feel extra worthwhile when I can pass it on to you, in love. Knowledge hoarded is stale. In teaching you, the things I have learned take on fresh meaning and new life.

     

    I love to show you an experience for the first time. I've seen so much in life, but you let me experience the newness of things again. In experiencing them together with you, I get to experience them for the first time again too. Plus now I'm experiencing them *with you*.

     

    I love being silly with you. I spend so much of my life in a very grown up job surrounded by very grown up and serious people and you are a gateway into a very light hearted kingdom. You're the gatekeeper of so much joy for me like that.

     

    I love protecting you. It makes me feel capable. It reminds me how secure I am in the world. And to give you, you who are so innocent and small, some measure of my power in your service makes that power feel sanctified and pure.

     

    I love to make love with you. I've been some very exciting places and done some very exciting things, but this is emotionally as bright and burning as anything I've ever experienced. You are with me, and so little, and you are wanting to please. Your littleness, and the innocence and vulnerability and openness of that makes me feel ravenous. It brings out this fierce fierce yearning to consume you that is raw and aggressive. I want to overwhelm you. To take you far our beyond yourself. In your experience of that, I get to taste it vicariously through you. The surrender and freedom and honesty of it. And at the very same time I am awed and humbled by your openness and vulnerability. Your littleness makes me feel big. That's how it goes. And I want to wrap my arms around you and not just possess but protect, to celebrate that you are one of the very very rare ones that is capable of going there, in trust. I want to use you, and to celebrate you. Look at this gift you have. Look at how wanted and how pleasing you can be. The pleasure you allow yourself and in that, the pleasure you can give! There is a doorway in you that most people cannot walk through, but in you it is wide open. There is the element of the divine to this. I feel big. I feel indescribable gratitude that you complete an energetic circuit I cannot make on my own, for this is a place it takes two to reach. You are so, so special to me. A jewel far beyond price.

     

    I love it when our souls celebrate together. In so many mystic traditions it requires a masculine and a feminine energy to come together into a oneness that contains yet transcends them both. Like many polar energies, the masculine and feminine call each other out, call each other into greater being, as they spiral-dance together. And yes, masculine and feminine are powerful energies to bring together like this - but daddy and girl, there is some extra mystery to this, some greater power again.

     

    I love your trust in me. It makes me want to be the very best man I can be. Do you know that? You want to be my good girl. And because you are I want to be the very best person I can be too.

     

    I love how affectionate you are. I need affection as much as you do. I may be big, and in many ways I may be strong, but without love it all feels so empty. I love it when you climb all over me, laughing. When you grab and wont let go. When you make me little gifts. And you are so open to love where so many bigs have closed that down in themselves. You are so good at loving!

     

    I love that you teach me too. You are capable of things I am not. I learn them just by being around you. You change me for the better. You help me be more fully who I am. 

     

     

    Here's the thing:

     

    Your ability to be little makes a space for me to be big. That's how our gifts balance. 

    Thank you.

    From the bottom of my soul, thank you for giving me the gift of this experience.


    • Remi, DaddyJsPrincess, HisTinkerbell and 31 others like this


    #137329 Let's talk about respect

    Posted by MellyBoo19912015 on 28 October 2017 - 04:51 PM

    The rest of the staff and I have noticed a serious upswing in breaking a particular rule and it's worrying. The rule is about respecting people. This website is supposed to be a place to have fun, learn, make friends etc and a part of that being allowed is that we expect people to respect others. Now respect is a big thing and it can make a difference in your interactions with others. Treat someone with a little respect and you will be amazed how they respond. You don't attack people's posts etc. Yes you can have a different option but you express that respectfully. You may think a post breaks the rules, so report it instead of being rude and attacking people's posts. Respect is a basic part of human interaction and it's expected you respect everyone here, staff and members alike. You start acting up, you break the rules, you do get warning points and face the consequences, that's a given. Please be aware using phrases such as 'not to be disrespectful' or 'in my opinion' or 'no offense but' does not excuse you attacking, belittling or disrespecting one another person. They are not an excuse or a defence. Keep in mind that sometimes you may not mean to sound awful, rude, or mean but people can perceive it like that. The internet doesn't allow us to read a persons tone. It's important to read over what you wrote before you post just to check that. Remember that perception is reality and due to the fact tone can not be properly conveyed the Internet makes things that much more complicated. We have rules for a reason. So please people, read the rules and follow them. We don't expect perfection but we do expect you start acting and treating people with a little respect.
    • PrincessSassyFace, Meggles, littleghostie and 34 others like this


    #69301 A Starting Point for Rules, Rewards & Punishments

    Posted by Spooky on 08 September 2016 - 07:50 PM

    Let me preface this all by saying, most of this post is from personal experience. I am a middle but I believe Little's as well as Caregivers caring for Little's of any age can learn from this and the general outline.

    This is just a starting point.

     

    Rules

     

    Every set of rules is going to be different, simply because every Little and CG is different. There are a few important things to keep in mind when making your own set of rules.

     

    #1 Rules are not meant to control and restrict.

    #2 Rules are meant to guide and enrich.

    #3 Rules can and should be modified as seen necessary.

     

    We know everyone is different which means what I need to help myself grow and enrich is going to be different from anyone else. This is why communication during the making of rules is so important.

     

    The following are rules that I personally use, below each rule is a short reason for why this rule is used. Most rules are meant to help me personally cope and be the best that I can be, with the help and encouragement of my CG. We both sat down and made these rules together.

     

    • No television until I have read for at least 30 minutes.

      • Reading is something I LOVE DOING. But when you are facing depression, it is difficult to keep doing the things that you love.

    • Daily Chores must be completed before going out

      • This one is a lenient one, if I am working that morning, obviously this isn't feasible.

    • Wake up by 9am on Weekdays & 10am on Weekends.

      • To us, waking up early means a longer, more fruitful and productive day

    • Must be showered & dressed by 11am

      • Once again depression factors into this rule. If I had my way I would be in my pajamas, in bed all day most days.

    • May only be on the computer or phone for 30mins after bedtime (reading is okay)

      • This is also a lenient rule we have, due to my position on this site. It is a rule because I do struggle with sleeping, taking away screens helps calm me down before a night of rest.

    • Must eat something before 5pm

      • Was originally "eat before 3pm" I am sorry to say that proved difficult to implement so it was modified to make it easier for me to accomplish.

    • No coffee after 8pm

      • Too much caffeine = bad night of sleep for me. Another modified rule, originally "No coffee after 5pm" psh yeah right :p

    • No energy drinks without permission

      • As you can probably tell, I have a caffeine problem. Honestly got so tired of waiting for the okay, that I have not had an energy drink in ages.

    • Monitored drinking (alcohol) & smoking

      • Both of these are mentally and physically related. For my health across the board.

    • Negative self thoughts & feelings should be directed to my CG.

      • I understand that many have rules stating "no negative talk/thoughts" and ideally this would be good enough. Realistically, one cannot hope to completely stop such thoughts and ignoring them is not effective. So my CG prefers that I talk to him about these things, so he can converse with me, soothe my feelings, help me think positively and help me change these things I dislike.

    • No online shopping without permission

      • hehe

    • No art projects requiring paint and/or glue without permission/supervision

      • hehehheehehehehehe

    • No phone or computer out during meals

      • Just a common courtesy thing.

    Note that a few rules were amended. This is because rules are not meant to be broken however, those rules were broken an incredible amount of times. Rather than continue senseless punishment, amendment of those rules was made to help me.

    Modify rules as much as needed and go over rules every now and again, some rules may be taken out and some may need to be added.
     

     

    If you are having difficulty getting your Little to follow a rule, take a time out from the dynamic and talk about it as adults.

    If you are having difficulty following your CG's rule, take a time out from the dynamic and talk about it as adults.

     

    Rewards

     

    Rewards are the best thing that comes with having rules!

     

    Depending on if you are LDR or close, your form of Rewards or Reward System may differ.

    Rewarding your Little & your CG is very important, that is right, you should reward your CG for taking care of you! It is not an easy job!

     

    Rewards Systems

     

    • Choremonster & Mothershp ~ Easy to use Reward System, good for LDR and near by. Create daily & weekly tasks for rewards! Doing ‘x’ amount of chores or tasks unlocks ‘x’ reward!

    • Time Bank ~ For doing various chores and tasks your Little can collect “time”. The time can be used to stay up late, play games or watch television instead of doing chores!

    • Chore planner ~ Everyday is a new day with new tasks, have your Little write out goals and things to accomplish that day, reward at the end of the week or monthly! (I personally use this concept, helps me keep track of what needs to be done)

    • Sticker chart ~ You can take a calendar and everyday chores or tasks are completed add a cute sticker!! Then make a reward bank, x amount of stickers gets you x reward! You can cash in the stickers for smaller rewards or bank them for awhile for a super cool reward!

     

    Rewards for Littles!

     

    • Special rabb.it movei night ~  Your Little had such a good week, let her/him pick out a movie for the two of you to watch together!

    • Amazon Wish List ~ Have your little make their very own wishlist, books, stuffies, movies, clothes, collars and so much more! Makes getting the perfect gift so much easier!

    • Special game night ~ If you have the same gaming console or maybe a fun game on your phone a night spent gaming together will be a good reward!

    • Send a Little Care Package ~ New stuffie sprayed with your perfume/cologne, coloring books/pencils, stickers, glitter, bath bombs,

    • ALL ABOUT LITTLE DAY ~ this is a HUGE reward. Plan a day the two of you have off and let your Little GO WILD. A few hours at the beach/zoo/toy store/build a bear, maybe a movie night out, or a movie night in the cool blanket fort you guys made! Maybe a tea party! The possibilities are endless and you are both sure to have TONS OF FUN!

     

    Rewards for Cgs!

     

    • Send a CG Care Package ~ A bunch of drawings and colourings you made, pictures of you and your favorite stuffies, a stuffie sprayed with your perfume/cologne so they have something to cuddle!

    • Gaming Console Gift Cards! (Xbox, PlayStation, Steam, etc)

    • Buy your CG a subscription to something like Hulu, Netflix or Spotify, something you know they would enjoy!

    • Amazon Wish List ~ Have your Cg make their very own wishlist,  books, video games, movies, clothes and so much more! Makes getting the perfect gift so much easier!

    • Make/Send your CG a homemade craft!

    • CG’s Movie Night ~ Let you CG pick out their favorite movie and enjoy it together!

    • Special Snacks ~ Make your CG their favourite snack to enjoy when they get home! Brownies! Cheesecake! Rice Krispie Treats!

    • ALL ABOUT CG DAY!! ~ this is your CG’s very own special day! Let your CG drag you all around town doing the things they want to do! Make you CG food! Tuck them in for a nap! Buy them the candy from the store!


     

    Punishments

     

    The worst part of having rules and the most difficult part of being a CG.

     

    Once again, communicating during the creation of Punishments is vital.

     

    Inform your Little why are you punishing them before starting any punishment.

    Lack of communication can cause serious psychological damage.

     

    Make sure you have a safety word if any punishment is going too far or getting uncomfortable. Abide by the safety word.

     

    Note that not every broken rule is worthy of a punishment. Some broken rules simply need a stern, loving and guided conversation. You wouldn't punish someone for not eating, not taking medication or things of that nature. In certain cases like those, punishment may just make your Little afraid to talk you about things like that.

     

    Examples of positive reinforcement.

    • Drinking coffee after the allowed time = No coffee tomorrow.

    • Using phone or computer during meal = No more phone or computer for the night

    • Not doing daily reading before television = No television for the night and/or next day

    • Doing "x" without permission = Loss of doing "x" for the week or month

    • Talking back (excessively) = Writing lines

    • Not doing daily chores (with the exception of certain unavoidable circumstances) = More chores tomorrow

    • Loss of an earned reward for excessive bad behaviour

    Examples of negative reinforcement

    • Cut off communication

      • Not communicating with your significant other for no apparent reason is psychologically damaging. Even if you are beside yourself, unsure what to do, generally angry. You owe it to your significant other to send, at the very least "I am upset and would like to talk about this tomorrow"

    • Degradation, belittlement & name calling

      • Unless specifically given the okay for punishments.

    • Slapping, hitting, punching, spanking anything considered physical abuse

      • Unless specifically given the okay for punishments.

    • Taking away anything that violates consent. Such as; taking away bathroom rights, eating or socializing.

      • Unless specifically given the okay for punishments.

    • Manipulation. Such as; taking away collars or physical affection. Sentences that start with "You don't deserve ‘me’ ‘my love’ ‘any love’ etc….”

      • These are psychologically damaging, cruel and not okay unless specifically given the okay for punishment.

    If you are having difficulty getting your Little to follow through with a punishment, take a time out from the dynamic and talk about it as adults.

    If you are having difficulty following through with a punishment, take a time out from the dynamic and talk about it as adults.

     


    • Foxie, sirus, oh.cinnamon and 31 others like this


    #9636 What are your rules?

    Posted by BH_Bambi on 27 April 2015 - 06:45 PM

    I have rules! Sir said it was okay to post them here.

    1. School is very important; you must go every day and tell Sir about homework and deadlines.
    2. Don't keep secrets from Sir; tell me your worries, I can't help if I don't know the problem.
    3. No swearing; Princesses have no need for vulgar words.
    4. Sir will choose your outfits, and you must ask when changing clothes; you can help with suggestions. You must send a description of what you are wearing in the morning.
    5. Bed time is when Sir says, and you must stay in bed if a time is given.
    6. Tell Sir when you're going to eat. Permission must be given for sweets and alcohol; fed and watered littles are happy littles.
    7. You must ask to go on tumblr, and ask to post things regarding Sir; I need to make sure you're safe everywhere, including online.
    8. NSFW: You must ask to touch your princess parts, and ask again to cum.
    9. You must ask to shower/have a bath. While there, you are only allowed to touch your princess parts for washing and shaving. Clean shaven princess parts are much preferred.

    These are the rules I've been following for over a year now. Some of them only applied to certain days when we started our relationship, and the clothes rule still does.

    Writing them all out has made me think we may need to refresh a few of these! I hope it was interesting for you x


    • MrRider, TheTeacher, Kaylavangogh and 30 others like this


    #73834 Is my relationship abusive?

    Posted by Spooky on 07 October 2016 - 01:51 PM

    The following is a rather objective piece, gathered from many forum posts of people who do not know what to do or know what their relationship has become.

     

    Nature of DD/LG

     

    The nature of DD/LG is to guide and enrich both the lives of the Dominant and the Little. This is not a one sided relationship. This is not a relationship that is meant to be used to control or manipulate someone. Many posts on here allude to a relationship that is more fitting of a Master & Slave Dynamic. This is fine, as long as the consent is there.

     

    While manipulation and abuse is often seen as a man abusing or manipulating a woman, we must accept that abuse and manipulation can happen to anyone from anyone.

     

    While a majority of Doms would love for their Little to rely on them for every mundane task, this is not feasible nor is it healthy. I very often see insulting and ridiculous comments such as: “Littles should not do x.”

    “You are a Little, you cannot do x.”

    Littles are adults, they are fully capable and functioning human beings. As a Dom, once again, your task it to help nurture and enrich your Little. Don’t encourage them to become mentally and emotionally reliant on you, this is counterproductive and at times abusive. Help them become the productive members of society you know they can be.

     

    As a Little it is also up to you to gain independence. Being a Caregiver is a very difficult and draining job. You cannot expect someone to make your every decision for you. This is equally draining and abusing what a Caregiver is. If there is some part of normal life you struggle with (making phone calls, socializing, doing school work) talk to your Caregiver about how they can HELP you with these things.

    Note that being a helpless damsel in distress is fun for play time and Little Space but not something that should be encouraged for daily life.

     

    Consent

    Consent is the most important aspect of any relationship. Consent is when both parties agree upon something, this relates to rules, punishments, daily interactions and sexy time. Just because you have consented to something it the past does not mean you have to consent now.

    Just because someone consented to something before does not mean they are obligated to consent now. Feelings and situations can and will change. If you find yourself uncomfortable with something you once consented to, use your Safe Word. This is a wonderful and informative video on consent, please give it a watch (NSFW) Click here.

     

    Safe words

    A safe word is something that needs to be created in the beginning of a relationship. Think of a safe word as your Life Raft. This word/term means it is time to pause the dynamic. This shuts down whatever play is happening and allows the two of you to discuss what is going on. If you are uncomfortable or nervous  with where a situation is heading, use your Safe Word. A Safe Word must at all times be honored. If someone uses a Safe Word, it is your job to discuss that with them. Do not blame yourself or the other person, do not get angry, listen to them and respect their decision.

     

    Positive reinforcement vs control

    Punishment should fit the crime. Punishment must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand.

    Punishment should fit the crime. Punishment must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand.

    Punishment should fit the crime. Punishment must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand.

    I really hope that has sank into any one reading this. It is that important.

     

    Harsh rules or punishments that were not previously agreed upon. Different strokes for different folks, many may like the following punishments and that is okay as long as both parties agreed to it.

    Examples of controlling and abusive punishments

    • Taking away the right to bathe or shower

    • Taking away the right to eat

    • Taking away communication (with partner or anyone else, this includes friends or family members)

    • Taking away lights

    • Taking away clothing

    • Taking away the right to use the bathroom

    • Taking away social interaction (ie going online, going to a friends house, visiting family members)

    If it takes away a basic human necessity, it is abusive.

     

    No one can foresee the future. There most likely will come a time when you see a new rule or punishment should be implemented. That is okay! But first you must talk to your partner about it. You cannot decided to enforce a new rule without your partner knowing, people can’t read minds, they can’t possibly know what they did wrong and cannot be expected to accept a punishment added for no conceivable reason.

     

    Manipulation Tactics:

    • Threatening self harm. This is a popular trend in all forms of relationships, it a powerful and usually successful. Using a threat of self harm is not okay. It is abuse and it is a tactic for controlling someone. You should be able to talk to your partner if you are feeling upset, hurt or depressed but bringing it up as a way to keep someone around is NOT okay.

    “If you do x I am going to do x to myself”

    “If you ever leave me I am going to x

     

    • Verbal abuse. When you tell someone something enough, they will start to believe it. Never underestimate the power of your words and the effect they can and will have on others. This can work in a good or bad way.

    “You are ugly”, “No one will love you”, “You are stupid”, “I wish I never met you”

    Vs

    “You are beautiful”,”I love you”, “You are intelligent”, “I am happy you are in my life”

     

    • Making you feel guilty over commonplace and simple, small things. Guilt is a powerful emotion and can have a person doing things they wouldn’t ordinarily do to please someone. If you find yourself no longer able to do normal things like see your friends, visit family, go out, enjoy healthy hobbies you previously had,  etc without feeling overwhelming guilt from your partner, this is not okay.

    • Gas Lighting. Gas Lighting is very common in any type of relationship. It is a gradual process with devastating effects. It essentially causes a person to question their feelings, emotions and sanity. For a more in depth look at Gas Lighting please read this article. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted

    • Getting angry about small things, or things beyond your control.

     

    If you are in an abusive relationship, close proximity or LDR help is out there.

    • National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453
    • National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
    • National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324
    • Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504
    • Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722
    • Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111
    •  Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline: (UK Only) 0345 023 468
    •  Sexual Abuse Centre: (UK Only) 0117 935 1707
    •  Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001
    •  Relationships Australia: 1300-364-277
    • Rape Abuse & Incest National Network or 800-656-HOPE (4673)
    • Abuse Not: 0808 8005015 (UK)
    • Women’s Aid National (UK)
    • Domestic Violence Helpline 0345 023 468 (UK)

    • Mrbeardman, Michael, Whispering-oak and 29 others like this


    #68182 Age Play 101: 0-4 years old.

    Posted by Prat(Praetorian) on 01 September 2016 - 11:26 PM

    I've seen many littles unsure of what their little age actually is or are still exploring their little side or are unexperienced when it comes to age regression during playtime and since I haven't noticed any topics such as this, I've decided to map out little space because I'm bored and I can't sleep... (instagram and tumblr mostly used as resources). If anyone sees some errors, feel free to comment.

     

    0 - 6 months old ageplay age.

     

    We're deep inside baby territory, the little is in the "pre-linguistic stage" of learning language which means that the little can understand only simple words and can not speak back. 

     

    Communication: The little regressed to this age only uses primitive body language and incoherent noises (cooing, crying, giggling, etc...) to communicate.  This is specific to the 0-3 month age play. At the 4-6 month old stage, incoherent noises turn into the very base words such as gugu, gaga, ima, ida, etc...

    Diet: The little's diet consists of baby milk or milk from various animals, cows for instance.

    Movement: The little can barely move and is completely reliant on their caregiver to move them around. The little mostly just spends time on the floor, either flopped or sitting up, crawling ability is minimal.

    Activities: Activities are very limited. Playing with basic toys such as rattles and stuffies (caregiver needs to be careful of the little eating toys and choking), The basic toys shall not be named as the little is too young to comprehend that. Other activities are too complex for the little in this stage, the little will mostly just be sleeping a lot and will be pretty calm and docile and won't misbehave.

     

    6 - 12 months old ageplay age.

     

    Still inside baby range so diapers are involved. The little can now understand words and begins to be able to communicate with simple words.

     

    Communication: The little can now communicate through "babbling". Simple sound repetition such as dadadadadadada, papapapapa, bababababa, gugugugugu, lalalalalalala, etc. The little sticks to the easy sounds and can not produce sounds such as fafafa, thathathat, zazaza, sasasasa, etc. Towards the later of the stage (10-12 months) the little may produce on occasion words such as daddy, ducky, doggy, mommy, mama, dada and other extremely simple words.

    Diet: The little is old enough to be able to eat and digest baby food and simple meshes. Milk is still on the menu.

    Movement: The little starts crawling around and will attempt walking but fail so the caregiver should be alert.

    Activities: The little can not yet comprehend puzzles and complex activities. Fun still consists of playing with simple toys (which can be named now), peek-a-boo and reading stories to the little.

     

    1-2 years old ageplay age.

     

    Still baby mode, some begin potty training at this stage. Movement and communication slightly more advanced.

     

    Communication: The little can use simple words well now but sentences can not be formed yet and vocabulary is limited to mainly nouns, communication is based on "holophrases" (single word that conveys meaning. Example: The little saying "juice" over and over combined with grabby hands could mean "I want juice". The tone of voice and inotation of the holophrase helps the caregiver understand the little. Example: "juice?" means "can I have juice?" while "juice!" means "I want juice!". The little has a tendency to shorten hard words such as "nana" instead of "banana", substitute hard letters such as r (twee instead of tree), expelling consonant clusters (ky instead of sky) and the little still uses babbling as a way of communication.

    Diet: Baby food, small pieces of fruit, meshes, juices... No more baby food towards the end of the stage.

    Movement: The little becomes more able to walk towards the end of the ageplay age. At 1 year old will be very unstable, at 1.5 year old will use hands if struggling, at 2 year old the little gets pretty good at walking for short amounts of time.

    Activities: Naming games (pointing at things and naming them), peek-a-boo, playing with clay and squishy stuff, pulling silly faces.

     

    2-3 years old ageplay age.

     

    Slowly exiting baby mode, diapers are rare, potty training isn't. They LOVE to get naughty at this stage, they say "no" a lot and get punished a lot. They also love to learn and will ask "why" a lot as well as "no".

     

    Communication: The little can now form sentences from up to 2 words (me juice, I hungry, love mommy, love daddy). The little still struggles with certain pronunciation but they get good at saying harder words. "th", "f" still can't be pronounced and sentences often miss words like "a", "the".

    Diet: No more baby food (cause the little is bid now :p), fruit, vegetables, porriges, soups, dairy, sweets (but not a lot :/ ).

    Movement: The little can walk around very well but will still stumble once in a while so don't let your guard down just yet, loves to try to run around and is very playful.

    Activities: The little is very active and playful and will want to start playing with balls and ride scooters and solve puzzles and sing and dressup. Neediness and independance switch on the hour so it can be quite fun to watch. 

    Side-notes: The caregivers will have their hands full with all the boo boos the little will be getting at this stage. The littles tend to have random fears at this stage. Fear of dark or monsters under the bed are common. The caregivers will need to reassure that they are safe. The caregivers will also need to be stern to deal with the little being naughty (which is a lot).

     

    3-4 years old ageplay age.

     

    The little is an adult now... The little is the boss now.. Edit: Some still use diapers and some are still potty training, forgot to mention..

     

    Communication: The little is in the "telegraphic" stage of talking. They can form sentences up to 5 words which often miss out many grammatical functions like determiners (a, the, an..) and prepositions (in, on, under...). Example: "We go park now", "me go nap nap"... They can apply concepts lie the past tense to their sentences by using the past tense inflection "ed" and they will apply it everywhere (I swimmed, we goed, I doed). They can now understand more complex concepts like grandure. Ther pronoun use improves but they still might make the odd error like saying "me wants" instead of "I want". They can and will use more question words than "why" now and can link sentences together with "and".

    Diet: The littles are adult now, they can have all the sweets they wants.... vegetables are banned of course.

    Movement: Walking, running, jumping, falling...

    Activities: They will enjoy being read longer stories as they can understand more words now. Colouring, playing games, performing more complex movements as they are more confident now.

    Side-note: The little can be very awkward to deal with and will test the caregivers patience extensively. As a result, discipline and routine is absolutely important. The punishments have to be consistent and properly executed or the little will get confused. The little is very prone to temper tantrums at this stage of age regression so consistency is key when it comes to routines, keep their bedtime, meal times and hygiene in check and consistent and they won't misbehave as much.

     

    That's it for this topic, I hope you've had an interesting read and have learned something, I know I did for sure.

     

    Topics on 4+ coming soon.


    • PrincessRosie, Harley_Quinn, honeyboy and 28 others like this


    #94298 NSFW / Highly Suggestive Content in Gallery

    Posted by Michael on 12 February 2017 - 06:40 PM

    I've been thinking lately about whether to continue allowing NSFW / highly suggestive content in the gallery (partly because of this topic). Currently we don't allow outright nudity, but we do tolerate some NSFW content and highly suggestive content, and by continuing to allow this, a certain percentage of our users feel like going on the gallery can at times make them uncomfortable. Furthermore, it's often the case that uploading pictures to the gallery is likely to increase instances of predatory behaviour, especially if the pictures are suggestive. Sometimes I click on the gallery, and see some cute girl half naked with her tits bursting out or something, so naturally I click on to her profile (curiosity...?), and notice that a whole bunch of other daddies visited her profile before me, and you know for sure they've all sent friend requests. Maybe they're all friendly and nice, but I can see how that sort of stuff might bring bad attention and make drama more likely.

     

    When I look at other places that people in the DD/lg community hang out, it's like almost all of them are highly sexualized in one way or another, and full of NSFW content (Fetlife, Tumblr, subreddits on Reddit, etc), so I think there's already enough places one can go to express themselves in that way. I want this place to feel "different" from other DD/lg/BDSM communities. I think too many communities are so caught up in the sexual side of this, when that's only such a small part of DD/lg. For example, go on Tumblr right now, and type in "ddlg" into the search box; instead of getting useful knowledge and a variety of posts, all you will see are a whole bunch of NSFW gifs and pictures. It's fine to express that, but surely it shouldn't be such a huge focus?

     

    Therefore from now on, I've decided that any NSFW or suggestive content is banned from the gallery, and from the entire site. Linking to NSFW or suggestive content is OK, however you have to put a "NSFW" notice on it before you link to it. It's up to the moderators to define what constitutes suggestive content, but probably it'll be limited to content that seems deliberately designed to turn people on. Ultimately if it seems like you're only on here to post half naked pictures of yourself, and to just turn people on, then you'll quickly get yourself banned. This is a forum and community, so please take that elsewhere. If you have any advice or feedback about this, feel free to send me a PM. I'm all ears.


    • BabygirlsShadow, LolitaDaddy, 🌸👸🏼Barbie👸🏼🌸 and 27 others like this


    #58392 Searching High and Low For That Special Little

    Posted by StrictGentleman on 05 July 2016 - 01:01 AM

    Age: 47 
    Little age (If applicable)
    Name: StrictGentleman
    Role: Daddy
    Years experience (If applicable): 15
    Location: NY
    Sexual Orientation: straight 
    Looking for: little
    --------------------------------------------
    Hi. I'm a fit, active, handsome, and successful professional man and an experienced Daddy, and I'm looking for my lost little girl. When I find her, I will wrap my arms around her and keep her feeling safe and warm. I realize that I'll have to give up a lot in order to have time to pamper my little girl because I have to tuck her in each night and she needs to be given things like bubble baths, back rubs, and snuggle time. I will accept her for who she is, and I will help her be the best that she can be. My little girl will be given plenty of time to play, but she will be subject to strict guidelines and rules. She will be soundly disciplined for any disobedience but always in her best interest. She will spend much of her time with a sore bottom, which will remind her how well she is cared for. The relationship while not outwardly visible to others will be foremost in her mind when we are in public. A stern glare, a quick swat, or the tone of my voice will always be there to remind her that she is daddy's girl and that more serious consequences will follow when we get home. She can earn rewards like movie night, vacation/shopping trips, and more sensual time over my knee when she has been a good girl. Even if she is a strong, independent and successful woman to the outside world, she will know that she can retreat to the warmth and comfort of her Daddy and leave all of that behind. I'm looking for a full-time monogamous relationship with a hwp little who lives within driving distance or is willing to eventually relocate so that all of this can be provided for her daily the way only a loving Daddy can.  

     

    lf description here. What are your interests? What are your hobbies? etc.*


    • ♥ Lee ♥, Little.Wolf, Lele👑🐺 and 24 others like this


    #120951 Fake - It Needs to Stop

    Posted by LittleIlly on 22 July 2017 - 03:39 AM

    *waves* Hiya. I want to write about something that has been bothering me for a very long time. What I am writing is strictly my opinion and my observations from the forum and interacting with friends here. I am not saying I am right, but I am saying maybe this is something to think about. This is a fairly controversial topic and I do understand that what I am putting forth does not fit in every case. So I hope we can all keep an open mind with it. Thanks, guys. :heart:

     

    The Term “Fake” Within Our community

     

    “He is a fake Daddy.”

    “Only fake littles do that.”

     

    How do we define “fake” in regards to people? When do we have the right to call another person “fake” in regards to their exchange? To be simple - we really shouldn’t do it… at all. Just hear me out for a moment:

     

    On this forum (and many other websites) the term “fake” is thrown around so candidly that it is losing it’s true meaning. Think back in highschool when you had all of those annoying people who would hop from a 3-day relationship to another 3-day relationship over and over again, yet claimed they loved each partner. That term, “love” really lost it’s meaning when that person said it. Same goes for this community and “fake.” But the issue with throwing “fake” around is that it starts to become offensive and damaging to someone’s reputation.

     

    Why do we (as a community) label someone a “fake” in regards to this dynamic? In my opinion, it should go back to how it was originally used - or at least the way I saw it used years ago. Back in the day (heh) the term was only used for those CG/littles who were literally using the dynamic as a way to purposefully hurt their partner. In short - they were a predator searching for prey. And that went both ways, littles were predators to inexperienced or overly trusting CGs. But the point is that these people were literally (dictionary definition of literal) trying to harm the other person by taking advantage of them for sex, money, or just to hurt them. They did not have any relation to the dynamic other than the fact that this community trusts VERY easily and overall VERY quickly. They had no CG tendencies and they had no little tendencies - they just saw an opportune community to prey on.

     

    So why are there suddenly so many “fake” members of this community now? Why do we see the term “fake” thrown around so much more now than ever before? I have a theory on this and it all relies on compatibility. There are, seemingly, certain reasons why people are labeled as fake, and my goal right now is to debunk these.

     

    1. Personal Expectations - Compatibility 

     

    One of the main reasons I see people being accused of being a fake is because they don’t meet the expectations of their partner. Mainly, they don’t meet the relationship expectations of their partner. But this can be anything from CG/l to the most vanilla aspect of their lives. In this case, the partner is aggravated because the other cannot meet their personal checklist. Does he/she do A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, etc? Let’s say they do all except B and E. I have seen where a little has accused a Daddy of being fake over something so small, yet he was fulfilling her every need (her words). She accused him of being a fake because he wouldn’t buy her a stuffie whenever she wanted it. She wasn’t looking to use him for his money, but that is something she wanted, a new stuffie every week or every few days. And he put his foot down. This landed him the label “fake” because he wasn’t “taking care” of his little. “He wasn’t being fair.”

     

    Now I am sure y’all are like, Bree… that is one case. But look, I only knew that he was treating her so well because I was her friend. To everyone else she told, he was a neglectful Daddy. And everyone believed her. Now he is left with this reputation because he didn’t meet this expectation she had for Daddies. This is more common than we would like to think. What about the partner who does not like facetiming (for legitimate) reasons but will call, text, email, visit (when possible), etc. Just because this person wont visibly call their partner, I have seen them called a “fake” because they were “hiding” something. This mindset is so damaging because it shows how unfair this label really can be.

     

    If a person isn’t ticking every box on your Dream Daddy/Mommy or Dream Little check list, they are not “fake.” And claiming they are isn’t right in any sense of the word - they simply are not COMPATIBLE with you, it has nothing to do with being a “fake” CG or little. Not everyone is destined to be with everyone else. Not all preferences are the same. And just because a relationship fizzled out, that doesn’t make the ex a “fake.” It simply means they were not compatible. And there is NOTHING wrong with either partner because of it. It means they had different needs/wants and didn’t get that fulfilled from the other. No one is to blame and no one is fake.

     

    2.  Unrealistic Understanding - CG/l 24/7

     

    Another issue that seems to cause this title to be thrown about is when a partner cannot partake in the dynamic as little/much as the other partner would like. This typically happens when one person is busy with this thing called Life and simply cannot be in the headspace of CG or little as much as they both would like to be. Whether it be due to stress, mental illness, physical illness, distance, work, children, or anything else - it seems when a partner isn’t getting enough CG/l activity from their partner, that partner is now a “fake.”

     

    For example - I have seen MANY relationships break up because the Daddy was a “fake” due to him not being able to be on call 24/7. In these cases these Daddies were depressed, working, sleeping or sick, yet their little felt neglected and ended it. Once they were over, the littles then claimed their ex-Daddy wasn’t a real Daddy. This mindset really harms the community because it shows that people aren’t ready to realize that their partner has to balance not only the relationship, but their life as well.
     

    Even lifestylers (of any dynamic) cannot be “in” 24/7 due to some reason - so to expect those who are more casually into the lifestyle, or new, or inexperienced is simply unfair and almost selfish. They aren’t a fake CG or little because they can’t be accessible or “in” at the drop of a dime. Life happens, and things become complicated or difficult - they way to work past that is communication, not being frustrated that you’re not getting your way right then. Don’t get me wrong - ghosting, catfishing, fading and such are all very real issues because of this being a forum on the internet. But those are cases I am not talking about - and if I were, doing these things don’t make that person a fake, because you truly don’t know the situation behind this happening. Maybe they had a literal personal emergency, maybe you were coming on too strongly and they didn’t know what else to do, maybe they were new and confused and scared, maybe they didn’t understand, maybe there wasn’t proper communication, etc. Even ghosters and faders shouldn’t earn the right of “fake” because we only know the one side of the story. All we know is they stopped communication.

     

    But the situations I am talking about are the ones where the other person simply isn’t -enough- for their partner. This doesn’t make them a fake. This means, yet again, they are simply not compatible. Or they could be going through a hard time and a relationship isn’t a wise decision at the moment due to the responsibilities it entails. We need to realize that CG/l (ESPECIALLY Daddies) are real people, they have real life issues and are not machines to dole out affection and attention 24/7. And when they are not compatible in the time you need in a relationship - they aren’t fake, they simply are not the one for you. And, again, there is NOTHING wrong with that person (or you) because of it. It just means you two need someone else.

     

    3.  Cookie Cutter Standards

     

    Let me preface with this - using the phrase “cookie cutter” doesn’t hold a negative connotation. I am simply using it for lack of a better phrase for the characteristics one has come to association with a CG or a little. These CGs and littles enjoy what we would expect them to due to what the internet has led us to believe is “typical.” And there is nothing wrong with that, or wrong not falling into this category.

     

    This reason is a real issue from what I have seen in this community. And it happens more than we probably realize, and not just from opposite ends (littles calling CGs fake and vice versa). There is this inherent mindset that if a CG or a little doesn’t act as “expected” from their status, then they are fake. I will give you personal examples that have happened to me on this forum alone. I have been told I was a fake because:

     

    • I didn’t call him Daddy right away (from a CG)

    • I didn’t identify as a kitten (from a little)

    • I didn’t like pink (from littles)

    • I didn’t like glitter (from both)

    • I liked horror movies over MLP (from both)

    • I prefer blue (from boy littles)

     

    I was also informed that only real littles would:

     

    • Follow their CGs without question (both)

    • Speak in little speech (from a CG)

    • Color every night (from littles)

    • Send their Daddy whatever they wanted - sext, pictures, erotica (from both)

    • Have sex with their Daddy whenever the Daddy wanted it (from both)

    • Love Daddy no matter what he did - even if it hurt me (from both)

    • Use pacis, sippies and stuffies (from littles)

    • Trust their Daddy and use a diaper (from CGs)

     

    And so on. Do you see how all of these things are typical behavior of what the internet has decided is a “real” little? But all of these almost directly go against who I am. Does that make me a fake little? Hell. No. That means I am simply Me and I am a little. End of discussion - and the same goes for CGs. In this category we don’t really use the word “fake,” specifically. What we use is the phrase “well a real little would...” or  “a real Daddy/Mommy would…” and this is just as bad. A reall CG and a real little does exactly whatever makes them happy, comfortable and who they are. There is no mold to fit, no build-a-little or build-a-CG to which statistics are required to be met. Every person is different, which means every little and every CG is different. That is how we are able to have Mommies and little boys - because a DADDY isn’t the only caregiver and GIRLS aren’t the only littles. These differences don’t mean we aren’t real - it means we are all unique individuals who like different things.

     

    IF you need a little of CG who matches the cookie cutter form - so what?! Good for you! But that doesn’t mean those who don’t mean that checklist aren’t real. Just like if you need a little or CG who ISN’T like the cookie cutter form, that doesn’t make the others “stereotypes.” It means they simply like things that we would typically associate with that status. Again, no one is fake here. And we need to realize doing something (or not doing something) does not make you more real than any other little or CG. It just makes you, You.

     

    ----
     

    As we can see, a lot of the issue is when two people are simply not compatible and the relationship ends. Someone’s needs are not being met and they feel their partner was not being true to their role. We need to change this mindset because we are harming the community we love so much. Imagine how a little feels when he/she is told that only fake littles can’t get into little space (I have been told this from many people from this forum). Something they want to do, desperately, now has become a weapon against them because they struggle with it. How is that helpful to our community members? How is the being supportive? It’s not. And neither is calling someone fake because they don’t live up to what you want or expected.

     

    And the biggest problem with the whole “fake” thing is to the detriment of the CGs, particularly the Daddies. Daddies are accused of being fake more than any other status in our community (across all sites and social media). And there tends to be so much support when a little is upset with their ex and everyone agrees “He wasn’t a real Daddy anyways.” No matter what happens, it comes down to the ex not being a “real” Daddy. And most times, no one takes the time to even try to understand why the Daddy acted the way he did, but instead comfort the little and banish him. Yet when a Daddy claims a little wasn’t “real” (which is just as bad, but still) he is instantly scrutinized and seen as too harsh.

     

    An immunity has developed for littles, as a whole, from blame in the relationships in a lot of ways. Am I saying no one understands littles can be just as bad? No - I am saying that in a majority of the cases, people tend to sympathize with littles over Daddies as an initial reaction. I suppose it is understandable because people tend to want to protect littles in general, but that doesn’t give them the right to slander their ex-partners just because it ended badly. And, still, this goes for any CG - they have no right to slander their ex-littles. But we need to realize this massive double standard because I have seen too many Daddies leave or become depressed because of the reputation they have unduly been given.

     

    All in all we need to truly take a look at these accusations we, as a community, are allowing to be thrown around. We need to support one another and help each other because our community is already so misunderstood - we don’t need this turmoil coming from within. We need to take responsibility in our relationships that fail, in so much to admit that it simply was not a good match instead of lashing out and hurting others. We are all adults, we all have preferences and needs. And if we are going to try to act on those needs and expectations, then we need to be adult enough to understand when things don’t go our way. And it isn’t because someone is “fake” but it is because it just didn’t work out. And look, there are fake people out there and there are bad people out there - but not nearly as many as what has been accused.

     

    At the end of the day, would you want someone claiming you are a fake CG or little just because you don’t like pink or don’t want to be super strict? No. So why do we allow others to accuse partners for the same, frivolous reasons? This needs to be a community wide effort (not just on the forum, but in person and with friends) to stop these slanderous accusations, but instead help each other understand why something happened the way it did.

     

    In my opinion, if you cannot own up to the fact that you didn’t work with someone because the compatibility wasn’t there or because you/they couldn’t handle the type of relationship you all were in, then you’re not ready to have a relationship of this magnitude.

     

    CG/l is such an intense dynamic, we need more understanding and less hostility. This is a dynamic of love and affection, let’s help keep it that way.

     

     

     

    [This has not been proofread - my apologies for any errors]


    • Michael, DeepSpaceDaddy, LordEmtheDinosaur! and 26 others like this


    #9076 How To Make a Little Feel Little

    Posted by DreamieDaddy on 24 April 2015 - 06:43 AM

    I just posted this on my Tumblr blog a few days ago from an anonymous person asking. It got hundreds of notes, so since so many liked it I thought I would share it here. Anyone (Daddies, Mommies, and littles) is welcome to add more suggestions too. As this is a question I get asked a lot by not only new Daddies, but also by littles that are trying to get their partner to be a Daddy for them. So they know what suggestions to give them.

     

    - Pat her bottom
    - Pat her head 
    - Sit her on your lap
    - Get her dressed 
    - Get her undressed 
    - Diaper her, check her diaper, change her diaper
    - Kiss her forehead 
    - Call her pet names like sweetie, honey, sweet heart, baby doll, princess, kitten, and others like that
    - Cuddle her 
    - Hold her hand (especially crossing street)
    - Pick her up
    - Tickle her 
    - Give her raspberries on her tummy 
    - Feed her with with a spoon or fork
    - Cut up her food for her
    - Wipe her mouth when messy 
    - Give her a bath and wash her
    - Brush her hair 
    - Tell her she’s your baby 
    - Buckle her seat belt 
    - Hold her bottle or sippy while she drinks
    - Tell her bed time stories


    • Kitten Cupcake, brebunny, ashwee✨🙃💖 and 23 others like this


    #73194 Age Play 101: 4-10 y.o.

    Posted by Prat(Praetorian) on 02 October 2016 - 10:04 PM

    I've seen many littles unsure of what their little age actually is or are still exploring their little side or are unexperienced when it comes to age regression during playtime and since I haven't noticed any topics such as this, I've decided to map out little space because I'm bored and I can't sleep... (instagram and tumblr mostly used as resources). If anyone sees some errors, feel free to comment.

     

     

    4-5 years old ageplay age.

     

    The little hit an increased development phase both physically and mentally. They crave a lot more carbs. They also become very self aware and shy when it matters. Anxiety is high in this area of regression, thus a lot of energy and time is being put into trust building with the caregiver.

     

    Communication: The littles talk well, only Rs and such give them issues.

    Diet: sandwiches (pbj), cookies, cereal, veggie bits, fruits, cheesespastas and pastry, sweets...

    Movement: Walking is mostly fine at this point but some littles still walk slowly and carefully, using hands for stability.

    Activities: Telling stories, singing, practicing talking, drawing, colouring, watching cartoons / Disney movies, nibbling stuff, hide and seek, running around, catch, read childrens books, legos, bubble baths, playing with stuffies.

     

    5-7 years old ageplay age.

     

    The trust building phase is still going.

     

    Communication: The littles talk well now, only some advanced sentences and words give them issues.

    Diet: Pastas and pastries, sandwiches, cookies, cereals, lots of sweets...

    Movement: Movement is a little bit more advanced than the previous year but still an ocassional stumble here and there.

    Activities: Hide and seek, running around, catch, board games, colouring, watching cartoons, Disney movies, drawing, telling stories, read childrens books, more cuddling and mingling, dancing, bubble baths, playing with stuffies.

     

    Advice for Caregivers: You have to be very consistent during the trust building phase. The more you insist on a healthy routine, safe habits, proper diet with lots of veggies, enforce rules, the more you're showing the little that you care and trust will build up easier. Be consistent. The brats act bratty during this time to test you, part of trust building is proving yourself to your little.

     

    7-10 years old ageplay age.

     

    Trust between the little and Caregiver is very rooted now and the little sees the Caregiver as a safe place, a protector, a guide.. More advanced development may begin now under the Caregivers watchful eye. The little is on the path to becoming a middle. She likes to go on adventures, explore, learn about adult life..

     

    Communication: Communication is advanced at this point, not words are misspoken and sentences well made.

    Diet: The littles like to focus on the junk foods at this point :D (The cool foods) like pizzas, burgers, french fries, etc... Also sweets...

    Movement: Movement is very advanced, the little is able to walk, run, jump, swim without any issues.

    Activities: Card games, board games, trivia and such. Competitive games. More adult movies, series, anime and books. Outside activities like walking or exercising with the Caregiver. Experimenting with cooking. Arts and crafts. ADVENTURES!

     

    Advice for Caregivers: Be supportive to your little's curiosity, they'll be very curious and happy / hyper around you because they trust you completely. Your little one is growing :D. Brats  act bratty during this time because they want to feel like they're maturing and because they're not "babies anymore!"

     

    That's it for this topic, I hope you've had an interesting read and have learned something, I know I did for sure and I would like to thank everyone who assisted me in the making of this one, you've been a lot of help since research materials were very limited.

     

    THANK YOU!


    • itsbabygirlbean, PrincessCupcake25, BabyGiraffe and 23 others like this


    #12125 What are your rules?

    Posted by tiemeupwithyourlove on 22 May 2015 - 11:46 PM

    We don't really have written down our rules, but we have an ark of paper with the following rules that Daddy wrote down after a very tiring week (in my defense, I was sick and full with antibiotics... and bored).

    1. Princess is always to ask for permission before eating cookies or any other sweets. (I cleared the stash.) 
    2. Princess is to obey all orders when playing with others, even those not by Daddy or take the punishment in silence. ( I didn't want a babysitter.) 
    3. Princess is not to cut her stuffies hair alone and without supervision. (My Barbies needed a fresh style and I cut my finger) 
    4. Princess is not to maneuver the stove or oven alone and without supervision. ( I wanted cookies and I burnt my hand) 
    5. Princess is not to climb the furniture alone and without supervision. ( I wanted to reach the cookies Daddy bought after I failed baking my own) 
    6. Princess is not to leave Daddy's sight without clearing it with him first. (I walked off to find a place to sit when Daddy was buying said cookies)
    7. Princess is not to take out the batteries out of Daddy's alarm because she doesn't want him to go to his job. ( I was feeling lonely.)  
    8. Princess is not to refer to her Daddy's job as stupid. (He asked why I did it.) 

     


    • babygirl, Rainbow, Sweetie4Daddy and 22 others like this


    #69810 Instant Gratification

    Posted by LittleIlly on 11 September 2016 - 08:43 PM

    *Waves* So. I am going to play devil's advocate again. This time on something I feel passionately about. I just ask we all keep the peace and are able to have a mature discussion. Thanks everyone.

     

    Here lately I have found myself talking to people, one on one, about the plague that has swept through generations. The one named Instant Gratification. We all know that need, the desire to get what we want and get it NOW. To put forth little effort and have things just fall into place. We are all guilty of it, at least sometimes, and we will always be guilty of it in some aspects. This is seen especially true when it comes to things like electronics and personal gains. In this day and age we are able to get so much instantly that we are conditioning ourselves into thinking this is the norm. Well. Let me make one thing clear. 

     

    Instant gratification in relationships will always lead to failure.

     

    Wait... Just once more... 

     

    Instant gratification in relationships will always lead to failure.

     

    I will use this forum as an example, but know this whole post can easily be applied to any other means of relationships. 

     

    I have seen a behavior here of people (and I will never name names) joining the site, or starts becoming active, or expresses their needs to just get what they seek and want it all to happen within that moment. To narrow the scope, lets turn just to the personals and chat. All too much a person will become increasingly impatient when their add does not get the responses they desire, or the attention they want in chat. And, from a third person perspective, this is so mentally damaging of a mindset.

     

    When people seek instant relationships, nine times out of ten they will fail. And if they don't fail, it will not be an ideal situation. These people who want their CG or their little NOW are those who are not educated enough in this dynamic. Let me explain:

     

    I am not saying those who are ready for a relationship are uneducated. It is the people who just expect to get a CG or a little simply because they are here or they want attention or that they are apart of the community AND they don't want to take time in getting to know anyone. These people are the ones who need to step back and start doing more research. These people are going to be the ones who are continually hurt or who will hurt (unintentionally) others because of their lack of understanding of social dynamics. You cannot expect instant gratification with relationships because it is harmful for those involved. This is psychological fact.

     

    But what I have noticed as an issue in this community are those who are expecting a relationship to just *happen* without even making an attempt at... anything. To me (as MY OPINION) these people are no where near ready to even be in a relationship. If you are not willing to be a part of a community (using this forum as an example) and get to know anyone, then that speaks to how much effort you are willing to put into a significant other. If you just expect someone to come to you and fulfill your needs, again, that just shows how lazy you are in relationships. And that is not something anyone needs.

     

    Moving away from my opinion - Psychology shows us that to form any kind of connection a basis of understanding and mutual knowledge is needed of one another. And this cannot be done in mere hours or days. A person does not experience the spectrum of emotions and triggers needed to fully show the real You in days. Am I saying you need to know your possible CG or little 100% before forming a relationship? No, not at all. I am saying you need to know more than the basics, just like any relationship. What are their theologies, professional goals, academic goals, future living plans, family goals, what are their pet peeves, fears, passions, etc? How can you even begin to make an informed decision if you don't know anything about a person? What happens when you get caught up in finding your new "Daddy" and you two are together and then only find out that he never wants to have kids, he doesn't believe in God and he is racist? But wait... you "loved" him? Remember? Or what happens when you get with your new "little" and find out she never wants to work, expects a high lifestyle and has a track record?

     

    Of course everyone has flaws and those can be worked on if you love someone - but you cannot love someone within hours because you don't even know that person. You know what they want you to know. There are exceptions of course - maybe you two talked for 10 hours a day for weeks. Or you form such a deep level of connection over a like passion that it drives the need to know more. But what I am saying is - you cannot expect this instant, serious, relationship after just meeting someone. You cannot expect to find your forever CG or Little the moment you post an add. You cannot expect to find a TRUE Daddy when you say in chat "I need a Daddy so badly" or vice versa (Daddy for a little). 

     

    These things take time. And that is a good thing! We, society in general, need to learn to take time for those things that truly matter. We need to savor the process of getting to know someone, to learning those little details that drive us wild with wonder and amazement. 

     

    We need to understand that instant gratification should be saved for fast food and Netflix, and not people and relationships. 

     

     


    • tamsinkitten, Michael, Mr F'ing Grinch and 22 others like this


    #640 General Advice for New Daddies

    Posted by PeppermintBatty on 04 March 2015 - 05:18 PM

    I might suggest for any new daddy/little relationship that the daddy make the little specifically write out what they're interested in from the relationship. Not that you have to fine-line a contract, but it can be important to make the services you and your little are interested in very apparent. I went through a lot of bad parent types and my daddy helped me realize that I had no idea what I wanted from that sort of relationship. I just "wanted a daddy/mommy" so bad. If you write out what you want, both parties can agree on what their comfortable providing to each other.

     

    Just an exercise that could be helpful, in my opinion.


    • Remi, Daddyslittlemerbaby, MrAsphyxiation and 22 others like this