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    Feeling sad and alone after my first punishment

    Punishment Daddy Help

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    33 replies to this topic

    #21 LittleJulieBean

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 11:05 AM

    Thanks to everyone who gave me advise, and tried to help! I appreciate it!
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    #22 Mr. Walden

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 12:18 PM

    So I have good news! I took the advise, and I talked to my daddy! He said he was very very sorry and didn't know how he forgot. He said that he's going to try more to tell me when I'm a good girl and such!


    can i ask where the disconnect was between you two? (why the problem happened?)

    Altitude therapy!


    #23 LoralieHaze

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 12:31 PM

    I find there is a sense of undeserved entitlement growing in this community in regards to relationships. omg daddy hasnt returned my text! solution? he's a bad daddy, i/you deserve better and the relationship should be over! omg daddy disagrees with me! solution? he's a bad daddy, i/you deserve better and the relationship should be over! omg we have diffrent kinks! solution? he's a bad daddy, i/you deserve better and the relationship should be over! omg i feel bad! solution? he's a bad daddy, i/you deserve better and the relationship should be over! etc ect ect.

     

    This entire post is rather maddening but I'm only going to address the hugest fallacy that you're buying into. Someone not texting back right away, or having a disagreement, or not having the same kinks is nowhere even remotely near the seriousness of aftercare neglect. I can't even begin to understand how someone can see these things as comparable.

     

    It's overwhelmingly obvious that you've never experienced subdrop. Do you know what it is? Do you have any idea how horrible it feels? It's not just "I feel bad". It's "I feel disgusting, abandoned, worthless, and guilty". And that's only the emotional part! (I experienced it ONCE and it affected me for six years.) You suggested that the OP put herself in her daddy's shoes but did you ever try putting yourself in OP's shoes? Or any sub, for that matter?

     

    I apologize to anyone reading this for coming off so ragey. It just really irritates me when people in this community shrug off the basic tenets of BDSM. Especially when they use that as an excuse to criticize the entire community at large.

     

    I'm very glad that OP did the right thing and talked to her daddy about it though :).


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    #24 Mr. Walden

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 12:41 PM

    relax, LKL.

    i was meerly pointing out the hypocrisy of the threads wherein a "little" is venting about some trouble with their daddy, then everybody rushes to the little's rescuse with false emotional validation. the point is that NO one is making a counterpoint. per your argument, i guess littles are so emotionally fragile, they cannot be troubled with anything less than 100% support, intellectual honesty be damned.

    this is called being emotionally disingenuous, with cognitive dissonance as "support".

    but, whatever. a real psychologist would be able to explain it better.

    have a happy thanksgiving!

    WF

    Edited by WaldenFound, 24 November 2016 - 12:43 PM.

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    Altitude therapy!


    #25 Tasha-Pasha

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 12:44 PM

    in this day and age of entitlement and instant gratification, no one wants to put forth any energy into solving relationship problems. why solve somthing, when you can just run away and get a new relationship? i believe a narcissistic attitude is creeping into our community ie: "it's never my fault, i deserve absolute perfection in a mate, this relationship isn't perfect, so i will bounce from daddy to daddy, or little to little.

    there is a common and predictable response to threads about relationship problems. the guaranteed response? just give up on the relationship, he/she a bad daddy/little, you did nothing wrong, you deserve better ect. it is an intellectually dishonest emotional "circle-jerk". it is in every single thread, and predictable like death and taxes.

    it's almost like people are rooting for relationship destruction, instead of healing.

    WF


    Hmmmm... Again, I respectfully disagree with your assessment of this thread. The majority of posters on here gave advice of talking things out with the daddy, not just up and leaving him.

    I do agree that we live in a world where instant gratification is rampant, however I do not see that reflected in this thread. Yes, many threads on here show support towards the OP when the OP has posted about a problem within their relationship dynamic. I find this to be a supportive action, not an enabling action. I do find that most posters are rather level headed in their advice to the OP. The most common advice I have seen given on this forum is for the OP to face the problem head on (i.e. talk to their SO or whomever they are having difficulty with).

    I do also agree that there is quite a bit of bouncing from one daddy to another as well as from one little to the other but I would equate this with the age of these "hoppers" as most seem to be in their late teens to early/mid twenties. This is the time of life when a person dates many people in order to gain experience and knowledge in both what they have to offer someone else and what they are looking for in a relationship. In other words it is par for the territory and not indicative of underlying narcissistic tendencies.

    I am happy to see that the OP has talked this through with their daddy. Hopefully both have gained valuable insight and wisdom from this experience.
    • LoralieHaze likes this

    “Are you learning me by heart, little Sara?" he said, stroking her hair.

    "No," she answered. "I know you by heart. You are inside my heart.”


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    #26 Tasha-Pasha

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 12:51 PM

    relax, LKL.

    i was meerly pointing out the hypocrisy of the threads wherein a "little" is venting about some trouble with their daddy, then everybody rushes to the little's rescuse with false emotional validation. the point is that NO one is making a counterpoint. per your argument, i guess littles are so emotionally fragile, they cannot be troubled with anything less than 100% support, intellectual honesty be damned.

    this is called being emotionally disingenuous, with cognitive dissonance as "support".

    but, whatever. a real psychologist would be able to explain it better.

    have a happy thanksgiving!

    WF


    I was actually enjoying the debate until this post WaldenFound. The idea of discussion is to debate opposing opinions and give facts that either validate or disprove an argument. A good debate does not need to belittle anyone or personally attack them.

    Telling LittleKittenLo to relax is a tactic used to belittle or shame her rather than engaging her in a non-emotional debate.

    “Are you learning me by heart, little Sara?" he said, stroking her hair.

    "No," she answered. "I know you by heart. You are inside my heart.”


    ~ Frances Hodgson Burnett ~ A Little Princess ~


    read with Me


    #27 FLdaddy

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 01:19 PM

    Congratulations! Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving now with that weight off your shoulders!

    #28 Mr. Walden

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 01:46 PM

    i was telling LKL to relax, because by her own admission she was "raging" because i had a viewpoint that ran contrary to hers. By calling my opinions as an evil tactic or shaming, you are trying to invalidate whatever viewpoint I have. If opposing viewpoints can be so triggering as to cause rage, the DDLG Discussion Forum may not be the best place for her. We have our very own safe place, free from dissenting opinions and provides emotional validation to distressed littles.

    that place is called the Little Space Forum.

    WF

    Edited by WaldenFound, 24 November 2016 - 01:50 PM.

    Altitude therapy!


    #29 Daddy's_Babygirl

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 01:50 PM

    i was telling LKL t relax, because by her own admission she was "raging" because i had a viewpoint that ran contrary to hers. If opposing viewpoints can be so triggering as to cause rage, the DDLG Discussion Forum may not be the best place for her. We have our very own safe place, free from dissenting opinions and provides emotional support to distressed littles.

    that place is called the Little Space Forum.

    WF


    The OP has her answer, her and her Daddy are fine, and at this point all anyone is doing any more is arguing... I feel the discussion is well past over and now it's just a "match of wits". All anyone is trying to do is argue their point at this point in the conversation and I feel like the OP wasn't really looking to start any arguments.

    At this point, perhaps the discussion would be better discussed in a message rather than here.
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    #30 LittleJulieBean

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 02:07 PM

    can i ask where the disconnect was between you two? (why the problem happened?)



    Well his first language is German, but he speaks English very very well. There's usually no problems, but sometimes (I don't think he realises) he sounds like he's being short and curt with me. Also he said that some words don't flow naturally for him. He said it's kinda like a language barrier thing. But we worked it all out.

    Also, when we were talking everything out, I had him read this post. He said that what I said was accurate and honest. He was glad that I found a way to calm down and relax. We decided that I would use a journal for when I get upset, as a way to vent and calm down a bit. Just write out my feelings.
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    #31 LittleJulieBean

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 02:12 PM

    The OP has her answer, her and her Daddy are fine, and at this point all anyone is doing any more is arguing... I feel the discussion is well past over and now it's just a "match of wits". All anyone is trying to do is argue their point at this point in the conversation and I feel like the OP wasn't really looking to start any arguments.

    At this point, perhaps the discussion would be better discussed in a message rather than here.


    I'm not really a fan of conflict or arguing... so we should all just be happy :) I use the saying "agree to disagree" a lot cause daddy and I have different view points on a lot of things (ex: politics) so we just decide to respectfully disagree with each other. And then we're all happy! :D

    #32 Baby_squirrel

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 05:40 PM

    I'm so happy for a postive outcome. And if I may suggest it, now is a good time to think of other things that you and your daddy haven't discussed that maybe be circling around in your head due to what you and your daddy just went through. Of course slow, easy and open are the best ways to discuss issues. *squeezy hugs for your arm*. Happy outcomes are the bestest outcomes.

    #33 Lil' Miss Dolly

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    Posted 24 November 2016 - 07:04 PM

    I came into this way late lol! I'm glad you guys worked everything out! Maybe you and your daddy should read some of the amazing content in our resources section so he has a better idea of what to expect after punishment and how to deal with it a little better!

    I will also apologize for the circle of nonsense that hijacked your post. This is a rare occurrence here, but tragic none the less.

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    #34 Trash Queen

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    Posted 26 November 2016 - 01:21 PM

    i guess littles are so emotionally fragile, they cannot be troubled with anything less than 100% support, intellectual honesty be damned.
    this is called being emotionally disingenuous, with cognitive dissonance as "support".


    Basically, yeah. But you better stop pointing out facts or you'll be reported for bullying. A safe space means free from any criticism or call outs.
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