So this had been bugging me for a while now. It's not just a mistake for ddlg relationships, but also a mistake in relationships in general, tho it's more problematic in ddlg relationships cause of the nature of said relationship.
Sooo, let's take personals as an example. Most littles write what they want in a daddy, but what you should write instead is what they NEED IN A DADDY. There's a HUGE difference. A caregiver is there to provide structure in your life , and if he is only what you want him to be that will never happen. Analize yourself, think where u need to grow and what not. You should seek a daddy primarily bassed on that, if a daddy just caters to your wants and keeps u inside of your bubble then you won't ever trully be happy.
The reason I'm saying that is cause it's best to prevent stuff like that before you're in too deep. Like i see littles write stuff like ''I hope my daddy to be won't mind that I have social anxiety and is willing to accept me for it'' .... That's just soo wrong imo. U should write that you need someone that is willing to help you cope with it and help you with getting out of your bubble step by step while being understanding to your limits.
Once you get in too deep and feelings start to form you won't care about whether he/she is good for you anymore, you'll just wanna be his little girl, but that kind of relationship will end soonner or later and you will end up being hurt. I hope at least some of you take what I wrote into considereation.
To sum up, chose primarily based on NEEDS not wants!
p.s.: Sorry about the shitty spelling and the massive lack of commas between sentences