People automatically referring to themselves as Daddy or Mommy

[PeachyPantsu]

Does anyone else feel really weirded out when people automatically start calling themselves "Daddy" or "Mommy" or just act like your caregiver in general before you've even really chatted or spoke for an amount of time?

Or when they call you pet names like "Princess" or "Babygirl"?

I don't know if it's just me but it feels kind of like they're invading my personal space or automatically assuming a role over me without my consent.

I'd like more insight on this and maybe feel like I'm not alone?

 

Or maybe it's normal and I'm just weird??

Edited January 12, 2017 by PeachyPantsu

[Guest Dahuggybear]

It seems a bit presumptuous. I feel like I need to earn that title of "Daddy" with someone. I think it becomes much more meaningful that way. I also sort of feel the same way about talking to someone like they are already in little space when you first speak. Like, lets be comfortable with each other first.

[PeachyPantsu]

It seems a bit presumptuous. I feel like I need to earn that title of "Daddy" with someone. I think it becomes much more meaningful that way. I also sort of feel the same way about talking to someone like they are already in little space when you first speak. Like, lets be comfortable with each other first.

Exactly! It just feels like that's such an important thing to me and they're trying to take advantage of it.

[Mikaitaku]

I find it a bit creepy and I am not Little. Being a Daddy/Mommy might be the role you take but that does not give you leave to be creepy on people who don't know you. No one likes random strangers creeping on them.

[Guest]

Its super creepy and uncalled for. I wrote a whole post about this. 

These are the kind of things I feel fake "caregivers" do to try and force their dominance over you.

 

here is the link if anyone cares to read. 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16540-red-flags-for-littles/?do=findComment&comment=87226

Edited January 12, 2017 by Arya

[Guest Dahuggybear]

Exactly! It just feels like that's such an important thing to me and they're trying to take advantage of it.

I think it also feels more satisfying when someone finally looks at you and calls you daddy after you've proven yourself. 

More so I really feel like people who rush into calling themselves Daddy/Mommy do not understand that extra trust, and consent this sort of relationship requires. 

[Michael]

I think probably they do this because it works so well most of the time on inexperienced littles. So it's a good way for them to identify and take advantage of the more naive and new littles. It starts with them calling you pet names and asserting dominance over you, and then suddenly, you find yourself being asked to send nudes every 10 minutes. Disgusting creeps.

[PeachyPantsu]

I think probably they do this because it works so well most of the time on inexperienced littles. So it's a good way for them to identify and take advantage of the more naive and new littles. It starts with them calling you pet names and asserting dominance over you, and then suddenly, you find yourself being asked to send nudes every 10 minutes. Disgusting creeps.

That's happened to me before. I've had caregivers that would literally try to force me to send nudes based on the principle of "I'm the Caregiver and I said so" and ignoring the fact that it made me feel uncomfortable at the time. It's really annoying.

[PeachyPantsu]

Most doms like that tend to be emotionally and mentally abusive though. 

[Tetrelle]

Does anyone else feel really weirded out when people automatically start calling themselves "Daddy" or "Mommy" or just act like your caregiver in general before you've even really chatted or spoke for an amount of time?

Or when they call you pet names like "Princess" or "Babygirl"?

I don't know if it's just me but it feels kind of like they're invading my personal space or automatically assuming a role over me without my consent.

I'd like more insight on this and maybe feel like I'm not alone?

 

Or maybe it's normal and I'm just weird??

Oooo Yes and No!

 

Yes, because them starting to refer to themselves (in context of speaking with you personally, not just in general) as your caregiver or Daddy/Mommy... Yeah, that's a bit pushy. I don't like pushy. Pushy is icky ;-; STRANGER DANGER!!!

 

No, because I get it. People in this lifestyle say princess. It's like in real life, some men may call younger girls Baby, Princess, Sweetie, things of that nature. That doesn't bother me in the slightest! They can call me pet names all they want as long as it isn't something personal they made up for me, the generic little nicknames though? Go for it. They try and make up something special for me though without being close to me first? That's also stranger danger, abort abort abort!

 

[~LittleRaven~]

Mmhm. Everyone needs to be careful with those types because they really do turn out to be really abusive. Mentally and physically. Please be careful everyone <3

[Tetrelle]

That's happened to me before. I've had caregivers that would literally try to force me to send nudes based on the principle of "I'm the Caregiver and I said so" and ignoring the fact that it made me feel uncomfortable at the time. It's really annoying.

Holy buttered biscuits, abort!!! That's straight up disrespectful to you as a human being. Absolutely not. No no no! *Hands her the stranger danger baseball bat* 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Most doms like that tend to be emotionally and mentally abusive though.

They aren't Doms. Abuse isn't really consensual, and D/s and DDlg is based on consent.

[PeachyPantsu]

-holds it up and makes a determined face- >:|

 

Yeah I tend to leave those types reaaaaaal quick haha. I even just don't reply for the most part and block them. I don't feel like wasting my time explaining to someone how manipulative that is.

[PeachyPantsu]

They aren't Doms. Abuse isn't really consensual, and D/s and DDlg is based on consent.

Right I should've put quotations around it. My apologies.

[Guest plerte]

I think it depends how they use the term "Daddy" since it can be meant as a description of themself or as a role in a personal relation to you, are they calling themselfs "Daddy" or your "Daddy" same goes for pet names, are they using it because its a word in their language or are they using it in referance to you being their "insert pet name". It, like all the things comes down to the individual person and everyone thinks different about it.
Apart from that, I also think that those so called "Daddies" and "Mommies" are cancer to the scene but htey are in every scene (hatem e for this) I was active in furry roleplays when I was a bit younger and I often noticed that many people there (especially guys) misuse it as a way to find a fast wank, not really being into Rping or the scene and slacking off in every way, it led to the point where Roleplayers hid messages in their posts that you had to write in order to show that you read through hte whole post and you also had to tell people before RPing that you are expecting good grammar, replies that are more than one sentence etc. because the Scene was flooded with guys who thought RPing was dirty talk and just put the minimum effort into it to get some fapping material.
I also spoke to many littles over the years I have been in the DDLG scene and one thing I often hear is that they had their first Caretaker and it was horrible, they are often used just as a source to fap and not being taken care of, especially underaged littles who eventhough being underaged have many guys blantanly demaning nudes etc. just because they are a "Daddy" ,  not even knowing what a actual "Daddy" is and does. or confusing littles with slaves. I do think you should put up a huge warning board on the internet that pops up if you google DDLG telling all the little girls and boys out there that if a daddy ever demands anything from you that you are uncomfortable with and wont stop demanding they are not in a healthy DDLG relationship but in a abusive master/slave Relationship
(Mistakes are intentional and the finder can keep them)

[Guest plerte]

-holds it up and makes a determined face- >:|

 

Yeah I tend to leave those types reaaaaaal quick haha. I even just don't reply for the most part and block them. I don't feel like wasting my time explaining to someone how manipulative that is.

Yes and no, I do think that a Little should be pushed to grow over herself, a Daddy should keep you safe but also challenge and push you, sexually it needs to be consetual but well it should always be like that DDLG or not while a Daddy should also be able to challenge and help his little to grow by taking her out of her safe space (yes i said it) showing her what she can become and supporting her in every way while keeping her safe.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

it depends on how it's used. there is a huge difference between a daddy claiming

to be your daddy and just referring to himself as a daddy. i don't find that odd or

offputting, at all. if anything it's fairly normal with a cg/l dynamic - making friends

or on a more romantic level. they are a daddy whether or not they're yours ( of

course i mean this generally and assuming they aren't a fake ). same goes for

a mommy. that's their role and title. think of it as someone referring to themselves

as a little to a daddy, i doubt a daddy is going to consider it weirded out when a 

little refers to themselves as one because said person is a little.. like i said, role/title.

i don't consider this creepy or bad at all, then again, it's all in the context.

 

as for the nicknames, it doesn't weird me out, instead of makes me somewhat..

aggressive, lol. i don't show it but i think it. those are names that are reserved 

for my Daddy to call me and i will express immediately that one is not to call 

me that, mommy, daddy -- doesn't matter, it just makes me want to push them 

off a steep curb. and i'm sure my Daddy wouldn't appreciate it either. i'd also

like to add that i've see an awful lot of daddies on here referring to littles in

general as 'princess', 'babygirl', and other cutey things and it's easier to express

that you don't like it, you don't even have to explain why. just ask them to stop.

another thing that just depends on the person.

 

to address the whole acting like your caregiver before you guys truly know each

other, you should consider that maybe it's that particular person's personality.

they may just be caring and nice, i know i am, it's a reason people get attached

to me very fast and stick around to continue to be friends. i care, a lot. but again,

it all depends on context. also, it depends on how you define someone acting as

a caregiver, what you see it as another person may just see it as being friendly.

Edited January 12, 2017 by ✨Tiny Squish✨

[PeachyPantsu]

It just feels like to me they're overstepping a common boundary. I don't think I should be referred to as "princess" or "babygirl" unless they are my caregiver. Pet names are fine to me if they're like "sweetie" or "hon" because I'm from the south. Everyone around here does it. 

And when I say refer to themselves as "Daddy" it's not like "I am a daddy" but it's more like "I'm Daddy" and in that context to me there's an invisible type of possessiveness to that. It just makes me very uncomfortable. And the main people that do this on this particular website are people who have little to no pictures, posts, or friends. It seems like they're fake and are just trying to find some poor little to do naughty things.

[Hurndauke]

For sure! I'm one of those guys who likes to get to know someone before jumping into things.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

It just feels like to me they're overstepping a common boundary. I don't think I should be referred to as "princess" or "babygirl" unless they are my caregiver. Pet names are fine to me if they're like "sweetie" or "hon" because I'm from the south. Everyone around here does it. 

And when I say refer to themselves as "Daddy" it's not like "I am a daddy" but it's more like "I'm Daddy" and in that context to me there's an invisible type of possessiveness to that. It just makes me very uncomfortable. And the main people that do this on this particular website are people who have little to no pictures, posts, or friends. It seems like they're fake and are just trying to find some poor little to do naughty things.

and it's totally legit for you to feel that way, especially if that might be the case and

you may be right in blocking or deleting someone who does that! i suppose i was

just saying that there are two distinctions and wanted to address both. but def, if

you're uncomfortable express it or bounce. if that person is being all weird @ you,

you never know, you might just change their behavior and they'll shape up for the

next little they talk to. 

 

tbqh, i don't even really like those types of petnames 'hon' 'sweetie' and stuff

when it comes from a daddy, my friends? it's fine. i'm weird about it and working

on it. 

 

i feel ya with the no pics, few posts, no friends. when i first popped into this website

i thought it was like 'oh okay, well maybe they haven't gotten around to it' but i 

immediately got messaged and felt awkward af and didn't take my own advice,

didn't express how i felt and was just like 'nopeokbyeeeeee'. no one's perf. ~

[Guest Waiting4us]

Does anyone else feel really weirded out when people automatically start calling themselves "Daddy" or "Mommy" or just act like your caregiver in general before you've even really chatted or spoke for an amount of time?

Or when they call you pet names like "Princess" or "Babygirl"?

I don't know if it's just me but it feels kind of like they're invading my personal space or automatically assuming a role over me without my consent.

I'd like more insight on this and maybe feel like I'm not alone?

 

Or maybe it's normal and I'm just weird??

You are not weird at all. A real Daddy Dom will never say out that he is such. His profile may say he is Dominant and can be caring but I don't think a real DD will say it directly. It is an honor and I would wait for my Submissive little to say first. I do ask the lady if she is little and sub but never would claim I am a DaddyDom. It is one title I always strive for and prepare myself daily to earn this.

 

The community in Australia where I was introduced to ddlg D/S BDSM not just as kink but for me to be in it and live it always said if someone says I am your Daddy or I wish to be your DD is termed *Red Flag*.. This is same what community teaches in US or UK or all over the world.

 

Not to offend anyone but I expressed what I know and learned.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

You are not weird at all. A real Daddy Dom will never say out that he is such. His profile may say he is Dominant and can be caring but I don't think a real DD will say it directly. It is an honor and I would wait for my Submissive little to say first. I do ask the lady if she is little and sub but never would claim I am a DaddyDom. It is one title I always strive for and prepare myself daily to earn this.

 

The community in Australia where I was introduced to ddlg D/S BDSM not just as kink but for me to be in it and live it always said if someone says I am your Daddy or I wish to be your DD is termed *Red Flag*.. This is same what community teaches in US or UK or all over the world.

 

Not to offend anyone but I expressed what I know and learned.

i'm sort of confused, are you saying that a dd wouldn't express that he is one

or would never declare that he is now a littles dd? and from what i'm getting,

i think, you're saying that you wait until the little tells you that you are her dd

now or..? 

[Guest Kittehmuffin]

I get it quite a lot at work from gentlemen calling me names only my Daddy calls me, but they don't know about the lifestyle and they feel its endearing. I dont pay them too much mind though because its coming from a different place in them.  If it was from someone in the lifestyle though I would need to put a boundary down. It's very disrespectful to just assume and I could never imagine trying to force anyone into being my Daddy, so why would it be ok to force someone to be a little?!?!  

[Guest Kali]

Daddy is both a noun and proper noun. Its fine to refer to yourself as *A* Daddy but not as Daddy. It is plain presumptuous and disrespectful to use the proper noun in reference to oneself when dealing with an unfamiliar little.

 

Imagine in the bdsm scene, walking up to a random sub and start talking to them while referring to yourself as Sir. It's the same thing and equally out of line.