need littles help!

[Olliedaddygirl]

so my girlfriend is a little and calls me her daddy and I'm very interested in this lifestyle and I've done research and i understand it. she wants me to be demanding and dominant and for the most part, I am. but when it comes to ddlg specifically, I seem to fall short. I've made some rules and she's really happy about it but I'm not sure how to go about actually using the rules. she's been in some bad relationships so I want to make sure I'm not going over boundarys but she apparently doesn't have any. I just want to do this right. I've already tried talking to her and i can't seem to get my point across. I'm not sure what my question is but if you have any advice, I'd appreciate it. I put this in this section because i feel you littles might have more insight. thank you

[submissiveboyjimmy]

I good place to search is tumblr, sub to some blogs and study.  Communication is key, after punishment, always perform aftercare and make sure she's ok, punishments don't have to be harsh, they could be writing lines or standing in a corner.

[submissiveboyjimmy]

http://img10.deviantart.net/2e2d/i/2013/044/a/c/the_three_c_s_by_arkham_insanity-d5uv9ny.jpg

[Guest Georgia-Daddy2]

The 3 C's is probably one of the best comments I have ever seen on here

[plastic ✩ nymphet]

well, my caregiver is usually very understanding with me, because i have anxiety and sometimes too many rules can be suffocating 

you can make rules that are simple and good to follow, that make it good for her and make her feel safe ! 

setting schedules is good for organizing the day, but don't set times that are too difficult to follow.

it's also good to add rules regarding diet, and rewards with desserts ! rewards are always good to encourage to follow rules 

when she doesn't obey some rule, punishments can be soft, it depends on how much she likes to be corrected. personally, i don't care about punishments like "no sweets for the rest of the day", "no cuddles today", or spanking. i don't feel very sad about it, because it's fair rules and i really should have followed, you know ? 

if she doesn't seem comfortable with something, be understanding and ask how it can be resolved. conversations are super important ! 

[cuppycakes]

I don't think tumblr is a good place to be directed to at all, actually. I know there are a lot of groups devoted solely to hating other aspects of basically the same community under a different name. I would rather direct you to the forums (specifically this one in the resources section: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12727-a-starting-point-for-rules-rewards-punishments/ ). Take a look around the caregiver cafe as well.

 

Here's some more good topics to read up on:
https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/51-general-advice-for-new-daddies/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5454-lets-discuss-healthy-caregiving/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2210-what-are-your-rules/

 

There's plenty of great resources here. If you're curious about something you read, plug it in the search bar and find a topic that explains it well. If you're still curious about it, and can't find anything, then make a topic and ask.

 

Lastly, you can always ask her if you don't know how it'll work out. If you read something you want to try, but aren't sure how she'll take it, then go ahead and ask her about it. (˘▾˘) good luck ♥

[Whispering-oak]

Hello .. when you feel you have enough information on the DD/lg lifestyle then sit down with her and talk adult to adult... have her list the things she wants ...then you list what you want to see happen.. putting the two together you come up with the boundaries of your relationship.. remember these will change with time as you adjust and refine the DD/lg lifestyle..don't argue about it if your having problems talking then get a clock and a stuffie and let her start she holds the stuffie and has five minutes to speak ... then she hands the stuffie to you and you say what you need or want to say.. do not raise voices, calm and in control... this has to be done as Adults... as far as rules go .. you set the rules .. you define (before you start) what the different punishments are and then stick to them ... I usually ask the little what she thinks the appropriate punishment is for the infraction that she had committed.. most times they are harder on themselves .. sometimes when they are craving attention they will seek out a very light punishment ... that is when you stick to your guns... if it is deserving of swats then execute the punishment ... but don't over punish for something minor or something of no consequence. remember she is a child and as such you must treat her like a child...example; if she is pouring milk and it spills or she drops the carton and it breaks... that's life, it happens, clean up the mess and reassure her that she did nothing wrong, but teach her how to prevent it from happening again... but  if she throws a tantrum and throws the milk carton on the floor and makes a mess.. then punishment is warranted..remember when punishment is over it is over and done... don't bring it up again... if you have never raised a child then this will be new to you ... if you have experience with kids then this is old news... if you have questions ask or go into the forums and post like you did here.... good luck and don't be afraid to ask questions..

WO  aka: John

[Biscuits]

I can probably compress a lengthy response into one word: confidence. I personally believe that, if you start setting rules for someone who enjoys it, you'll also translate those actions into your outside life. You'll learn how to dominate a space, how to be the boss, how to control others in a respectful way. 

 

Talk with her, tell her that you are new to this and that it will take you a little while to adjust. Make sure to maybe sit down with a cup of tea and discuss everything that she wants, what you're okay with doing, what you'll grow into doing, and what you maybe might not enjoy. With the rules, I personally enjoy it when my partner counts to 3. You set a rule and enforce it, when they start breaking it, start counting, discuss with them what will happen after 3 before-hand. There's many things you can do of course, thats just an example. 

 

So be confident, you're doing an amazing job, and it's really awesome that you're adjusting yourself to their interests and really blending both of your lives together.   

Love,

Biscuits