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Hi there!


I'm Nikki, or Min Ah, though I have a million and one nicknames. I'm 32 and kind of a little/middle cross, but don't really have an age I identify with as such. A new friend I made in the community said that's pretty normal, so I kind of stopped thinking about trying to figure it out.


I'm really, really new to the whole ddlg thing, but at the same time not. I've had a sub side for years, and always had a little side, just never knew what to call them (well, I knew the sub part, but not the little part). However, I always figured it was unusual or wrong, so I never really explored it. It wasn't until I stumbled on a conversation on a friend's tumblr that being little (or in the case of the conversation, middle) was actually normal, or at least known. 


I've been mistreated really badly in the past, so I've since never really dared to look too deep into anything that could involve giving up control or being vulnerable, as much as I want to, but recently I just realised that it's time I tried to move past that and get out there and meet people with similar interests and personalities.


Let's see, a little about me...


I'm painfully shy, which is probably where my little side is most obvious, as it's not remotely unheard of for me to hide behind someone if I'm in a situation that makes me nervous, or cling to their arm or jacket. At the same time, I'm a big people person, in that I love to love. I don't like social situations, but if forced into one, or if I'm just around one or two people I'm close to, there's a good chance I'll be the one hugging everyone who'll let me, and talking their ear off about something I love, especially if it's Disney.


I absolutely adore the world of Walt, especially Beauty and the Beast, and am at my happiest curled up with a stuffed toy, in my favourite clothes, with a glass (or sippy cup) of juice, watching a marathon of Disney, whether it's movies or tv (though almost exclusively animated movies, because I'm not big on the live action ones).


I like colouring, and I really like to play with Lego and dolls, and make crafts when I feel like it. I don't really like to do chores or tidy, which is really bad because I have to take care of my parents, so I have to do those things and it sucks.


As I said, I have a million and one nicknames, but the only one name I refuse to answer to is Princess. It has bad memories for me so I don't answer to it. Anything else is good though. 


I'm disabled with chronic fatigue syndrome/ myalgic encephalopathy, so between that and looking after my parents, I don't get out much except for appointments and grocery shopping. Needless to say, I rely on the internet a lot for my social life,  which is another reason I haven't had a chance to make any real friends in the community, and have never actually had a daddy/ mommy/ caregiver (though I have had a master). For me, being little and being sub are two totally different parts of me. I'm generally only sub in the bedroom, and only little out of it, though the lines blur sometimes. I'm pansexual, and female, but a bit of a tomboy at times. Not sure how that's relevant, but oh well!


I love to learn, and am teaching myself Korean, and I love to sing. 


That's all I can think of for now, so I'll shut up, but if anyone wants to know any more, let me know! Also, if anyone has any advice for a little/ middle who's new to the community (but not to feeling little), and would love to find herself a caregiver, especially one who doesn't mind it being long-distance, I'd be super grateful!

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