New Daddy Dom looking for tips

[xGallifreyy]

I'm looking for some tips or anything to know about being a daddy dom.

[LittlePupRune]

Gonna copy this from another post I wrote:

 

I would give some but I'm not sure what you already know, so it's gonna be pretty vague.

First off, communication, communication, communication. Can't say that enough. My little and I make sure we have deep discussions often in order to keep us solid. Its something you need to take seriously and keep consistent. CG/l isn't some magic where a relationship is going to be easier because you both like cgl, its going to take a shit ton of work since it opens you up completely to another person in ways you aren't used to. 

 

Don't be afraid to suggest new things or try new things. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about sippy cups, but now I like them since they emphasize some aspects of our dynamic. 

 

It is ok to not fit the typical "caregiver" image or not want to do it just in the bedroom or 24/7. You know your preferences and so work within those. I'm a daddy to my little but I'm not one of those "domly doms" that are often the common idea of what a daddy is. I'm quieter in public, don't like to be the center or the driving force, I will step in and lead if I see a need, but I don't have a desire to be the group leader all the time. So don't feel a need to change yourself to fit an ideal.

 

I highly suggest trust exercises, either written or active. It just helps cement the trust in the relationship.

[Guest Princessaj]

Hi and welcome.

 

Try going to the home page of the forum and put the word tips in the search box...you will see tons of posts.

 

Also, read all the categories...littles love to talk about being littles, CG/DD MD...also express themselves in questions and answers.

 

You are here in the best place ever to learn. Read, read, read! So much about everything advice wise is already here....ask specific detailed questions with a good effort in telling your situation/story when you have done your research so that we can give you quality answers. Have Fun! Hugs

[professor daddy]

When first talking to littles you don't know yet, use the tone of voice you'd use to a child with their parent. Respectful, interested, and affirming, but a little playful.

 

Too serious and adult and you don't show you're a daddy, and also make it harder to open up.

 

Too daddy and you don't show you respect boundaries or the individual, and you make it harder to hear what they need.

 

Everything is about developing a tone (in your voice and in the relationship). The tone sets the dynamic, that's why calibrating it is a really sensitive process early on.

[Guest Mario]

The question is "why do you want to be a dom ?"

 

If your girlfriend/little ask you to do so, it could be just impossible, or too difficult. If you feel confortable with bdsm, it will be just a matter of time & lot of work/communication as mentionned above. Be a dom is not a standard by the way, you could be the wrong one - it doesn't mean you shouldn't try of course, especially if you are in love with your girl and want to make her happy

 

Some girls said i am a dom, some said i am not, or just a "baby-dom". A long time ago, a girl i was the dom explain me she ask her vanilla boyfriend to become her dom, because they were in love together - sadly, it never works as she wanted. Today she seems happy with a vanilla husband, so, take your time, and prefer to be a good daddy rather than a bad daddy-dom if you can't handle this.

Edited June 21, 2017 by Mario

[LittlePupRune]

When first talking to littles you don't know yet, use the tone of voice you'd use to a child with their parent. Respectful, interested, and affirming, but a little playful.

 

Too serious and adult and you don't show you're a daddy, and also make it harder to open up.

 

Too daddy and you don't show you respect boundaries or the individual, and you make it harder to hear what they need.

 

Everything is about developing a tone (in your voice and in the relationship). The tone sets the dynamic, that's why calibrating it is a really sensitive process early on.

 

I'd be careful with that. Not all littles are in littlespace 24/7, and if you are talking to them as a stranger it is best to approach them as the adults they are to show respect, otherwise it can come off as condescending. Now, if they give you permission to talk to them as a daddy to a little, then yea, you can. I'm just suggesting to not start off with it from the get-go. You don't need to prove "daddy-ness" by your tone, but rather the approach you take and the care you show for them. 

[PlatinumCalyptra]

My Daddy is pretty new to it to and he learned a lot from reading about it on Literotica and on forums like these. I don't know what every little out there is interested in, but I think that praise is very verrrrrrry important. You probably understand that Littles have boundaries and everything (like most people do) so I'm not going to daycare too much on that. When you're looking for someone to be with, you don't necessarily have to look for a little. I didn't look for my Daddy at all, but after a few months of dating I told him what I was interested in and he realized that he likes it too. Honestly, it's pretty unlikely to happen often, but turning people down just because they aren't little isn't a healthy way to look for relationships. Anyways, just make sure she always feels special and appreciated and don't be a piece of lettuce.

[CarolinaKitten]

Gonna copy this from another post I wrote:

I would give some but I'm not sure what you already know, so it's gonna be pretty vague.

 

First off, communication, communication, communication. Can't say that enough. My little and I make sure we have deep discussions often in order to keep us solid. Its something you need to take seriously and keep consistent. CG/l isn't some magic where a relationship is going to be easier because you both like cgl, its going to take a shit ton of work since it opens you up completely to another person in ways you aren't used to.

Don't be afraid to suggest new things or try new things. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about sippy cups, but now I like them since they emphasize some aspects of our dynamic.

It is ok to not fit the typical "caregiver" image or not want to do it just in the bedroom or 24/7. You know your preferences and so work within those. I'm a daddy to my little but I'm not one of those "domly doms" that are often the common idea of what a daddy is. I'm quieter in public, don't like to be the center or the driving force, I will step in and lead if I see a need, but I don't have a desire to be the group leader all the time. So don't feel a need to change yourself to fit an ideal.

I highly suggest trust exercises, either written or active. It just helps cement the trust in the relationship.

 

 

My Daddy and I are looking for trust exercises to help build our relationship. Do you have any that you specifically suggest??

[LittlePupRune]

My Daddy and I are looking for trust exercises to help build our relationship. Do you have any that you specifically suggest??

 

So I have since tried trust exercises within relationships, and honestly, they haven't been all that effective. You could look some up and try, see if it works, but what I find works better is opening up and being vulnerable. I've had conversations over childhoods, friends, hobbies, random stories from life and family, likes and dislikes. Letting things naturally progress and having a good back and forth of opening up has been really helpful to my current relationships. Usually it easiest when we're hanging out at the end of the day, maybe at home, maybe at a coffee shop, a space that lends itself to a stress-free interaction.

Edited June 8, 2019 by LittlePupRune