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    Fake - It Needs to Stop

    DDlg CGl MDlb Fake Relationships FakeDaddies FakeLittles

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    #21 Guest_littleloveslars_*

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    Posted 27 July 2017 - 07:12 AM

    I'm new to this whole Little thing. But umm.. this kinda just intimidated the heck out of me. >.<


    What specifically intimidated you?

    #22 navelgaze

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    Posted 27 July 2017 - 08:46 AM

    I agree with the original post, sometimes things don't work out and publically calling someone out as "fake" is an easy way to seek revenge.



    #23 Guest_Mister Grey_*

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    Posted 27 July 2017 - 09:37 AM

    I think these thoughts are very important.  

     

    I see the phrase “Alternative Lifestyle” stamped on this community and other, referring to how we are outside the norm, problem is I don’t feel outside the norm, since this is normal to me.  

     

    I have the right to feel this way, other have the right to feel that way and in reality, “the norm” is actually a pretty small group because every person has their own quirks, their own desires, their own kinks. 

     

    I know a little that doesn’t like to color.  She doesn’t use a paci.

     

    is she any less a little because she doesn’t hit every usual little characteristic?  Is she fake?

     

    I dont think so.  Just because she is different from another little doesn’t diminish her feelings, just like being part of a Master/sub relationship/ or a Daddy Mommy/ little relationship doesn’t diminish someone else from a “norm” relationship.

     

    not adhering to every facet of a lifestyle doesn’t make a person fake, it just make them who they are.  And it that is not compatible with who you are, thats ok, just move on, respect each other and go out and find someone that is much more compatible with your own thoughts and feelings.



    #24 Little Illy

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    Posted 27 July 2017 - 11:46 AM

    I'm new to this whole Little thing. But umm.. this kinda just intimidated the heck out of me. >.<

     

    I'm sorry this intimidated you, that is the last thing I ever want anyone to feel from one of my posts. 

     

    I just want to reassure you that there isn't anything to be intimidated by, just things to be on the look out for. And in every relationship, we need to be on the look out for things. This community, as a whole, is a very loving, caring, supportive and all-encompassing one. There are just a few quirks here or there, but that doesn't diminish it in any way. Just like any other community :)



    #25 DeepSpaceDaddy

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    Posted 10 August 2017 - 10:24 AM

    That was epically awesome, or awesomely epic, or both!

    I've been promoting this same general idea in other areas of life. As a society, I feel we've gotten too quick to judge and label each other. We've lost the basic respect for each other as fellow humans. All of us are unique, and yet, if someone isn't just like us, or just like we think they ought to be, we judge them to be inferior and label them as such. Someone who parents differently is a bad parent, someone who drives differently is a bad driver, someone who worships their God differently or not at all, has different political views, different educational goals, life goals, etc., all labeled as something derogatory and condescending. Being different doesn't mean they are stupid, dumb, ignorant, or fake.

    None of us are perfect in probably any category, let alone EVERY category of Life. We need to forgive others as we want them to forgive us, often for transgressions we are each are unaware we even committed. That "bad driver" that cut you off, might have realized it too late and feel very bad about it. That might be the first time in 5 years they've done that. Guess what, at some point in your 40-60 year driving history, you're going to accidentally cut someone off too. We all need to stop assuming the worst about each other, in every aspect of life, online AND offline. :-)
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    #26 Guest_littleloveslars_*

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    Posted 10 August 2017 - 01:17 PM

    That was epically awesome, or awesomely epic, or both!

    I've been promoting this same general idea in other areas of life. As a society, I feel we've gotten too quick to judge and label each other. We've lost the basic respect for each other as fellow humans. All of us are unique, and yet, if someone isn't just like us, or just like we think they ought to be, we judge them to be inferior and label them as such. Someone who parents differently is a bad parent, someone who drives differently is a bad driver, someone who worships their God differently or not at all, has different political views, different educational goals, life goals, etc., all labeled as something derogatory and condescending. Being different doesn't mean they are stupid, dumb, ignorant, or fake.

    None of us are perfect in probably any category, let alone EVERY category of Life. We need to forgive others as we want them to forgive us, often for transgressions we are each are unaware we even committed. That "bad driver" that cut you off, might have realized it too late and feel very bad about it. That might be the first time in 5 years they've done that. Guess what, at some point in your 40-60 year driving history, you're going to accidentally cut someone off too. We all need to stop assuming the worst about each other, in every aspect of life, online AND offline. :-)



    SO MUCH YES. JUST YES. THANK YOU

    #27 Little Illy

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    Posted 11 August 2017 - 09:33 AM

    That was epically awesome, or awesomely epic, or both!

    I've been promoting this same general idea in other areas of life. As a society, I feel we've gotten too quick to judge and label each other. We've lost the basic respect for each other as fellow humans. All of us are unique, and yet, if someone isn't just like us, or just like we think they ought to be, we judge them to be inferior and label them as such. Someone who parents differently is a bad parent, someone who drives differently is a bad driver, someone who worships their God differently or not at all, has different political views, different educational goals, life goals, etc., all labeled as something derogatory and condescending. Being different doesn't mean they are stupid, dumb, ignorant, or fake.

    None of us are perfect in probably any category, let alone EVERY category of Life. We need to forgive others as we want them to forgive us, often for transgressions we are each are unaware we even committed. That "bad driver" that cut you off, might have realized it too late and feel very bad about it. That might be the first time in 5 years they've done that. Guess what, at some point in your 40-60 year driving history, you're going to accidentally cut someone off too. We all need to stop assuming the worst about each other, in every aspect of life, online AND offline. :-)

     

    Exactly - people tend to forget that the thing that make us Us, is that we are all different. Sure we may belong to a group (DDlg, BDSM, Retail, CEOs, Wives, Siblings, etc) but that doesn't mean we are the same as everyone else in said group. And though sometimes those differences are not so good, for the vast majority they are why we love each other.

     

    At the end of the day if you have to label someone in a negative light to make you feel better about yourself/situation then, in my opinion, there should be some self-reflection done. Of course there are legitimately bad people out there, but not nearly as many as people would label (inside and outside of this community).

     

    My hope is that we can grow as a community in accepting these differences (the legit kind, not the bad kind) because it will really bring us all closer together. And provider a much stronger support system for everyone here.



    #28 TheGiftedStars

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    Posted 15 August 2017 - 10:33 PM

    Very interesting and well put together.
    I do agree with the word "fake" being tossed around on impulse. And like every other community, this one has its own issues as well. It's good to not be too strict when it comes to labels (this community isnt a religion after all) lol. A lot of the things you mentioned that other CGs and Littles have said that are required aren't relatable to me either. I dont color every night and call my CG by "Daddy" 24/7. This post clears up a lot. Thanka for bringing this out to the light.

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    #29 Little Illy

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    Posted 25 August 2017 - 05:40 AM

    Very interesting and well put together.
    I do agree with the word "fake" being tossed around on impulse. And like every other community, this one has its own issues as well. It's good to not be too strict when it comes to labels (this community isnt a religion after all) lol. A lot of the things you mentioned that other CGs and Littles have said that are required aren't relatable to me either. I dont color every night and call my CG by "Daddy" 24/7. This post clears up a lot. Thanka for bringing this out to the light.


    Honestly I completely understand. I have been told I was not a real little by quite a few people, even on this forum (both cgs and littles) and I honestly don't think they were being mean. I am 100% sure a majority of them were just unfamiliar with the fact that a little doesn't HAVE to do this or that. Like love glitter and loooove pink. I hate both.

    Anymore with how the tides of social norm and acceptance are going, I am hoping this expectation of what a CG or little "should" be will be destroyed. There is no "should," only what "is." The only thing I ever think is a "requirement" of this dynamic is to see that it is true for you, an individual. That's it. If it's not true to you, oh well, but I see that as the only way a "must" is allowed to be categorized. Because otherwise if the dynamic is "true" to who YOU are, then you're not being real with yourself (excluding any partbers) and that can lead to unhappiness. But even in that case, it's no one's business except that person (and in some cases, their partners if they don't communicate).

    All in all, the whole "faked" and "a REAL CG/little..." mentality needs to be done away with. I highly doubt it ever will, but it's a pipe dream of mine.

    #30 Chubbyprincess84

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    Posted 28 August 2017 - 12:29 AM

    I could not agree more and have gotten into few different arguments on fb because of it... He is fake because he cheated... no.. that makes him a cheater... it has nothing to do with him being a daddy or a dom. He would have cheated in a vanilla relationship. The term 'fake' has been driving me nuts since I joined the fb groups a couple months ago.


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    #31 Guest_Fros†beard_*

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    Posted 29 August 2017 - 01:09 PM

    I just wanted to say, to both sides, be careful.
    Predatory individuals can be extremely patient; they can pretend to be something they're not for months and only drop the act when it's already too late.
    They'll seem too good to be true because, well, all of it is a lie. They'll tear you open and suck you dry, leaving a grey, hollow shell behind before moving on to their next victim.

    What I've been wondering is, do these people even realize what they're doing? Are they unable to feel remorse? Are they, in a way, grey & hollow shells themselves?
    Are they trying to fill an insatiable void within? I have so many questions, but from my experience, this kind of person will absolutely deny any and all faults. It's like they've devised another layer of existence in their heads, one where they are infallible, but paradoxically also the victim if things start to slip out of their control.



    #32 Little Illy

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    Posted 03 September 2017 - 01:18 PM

    I just wanted to say, to both sides, be careful.
    Predatory individuals can be extremely patient; they can pretend to be something they're not for months and only drop the act when it's already too late.
    They'll seem too good to be true because, well, all of it is a lie. They'll tear you open and suck you dry, leaving a grey, hollow shell behind before moving on to their next victim.

    What I've been wondering is, do these people even realize what they're doing? Are they unable to feel remorse? Are they, in a way, grey & hollow shells themselves?
    Are they trying to fill an insatiable void within? I have so many questions, but from my experience, this kind of person will absolutely deny any and all faults. It's like they've devised another layer of existence in their heads, one where they are infallible, but paradoxically also the victim if things start to slip out of their control.

     

     

    Thats absolutely true - I didn't focus on littles being predators due to the trend I've seen on the forum (so many littles screaming Daddies are fake), but I can count at least two predatory littles that I have recently seen. They are very real and they pose a very real threat. It does cut both ways.

     

    A lot of these people are narcissists, so they don't realize they are truly hurting people. Rather they focus on how to fulfill what they need, which overshadow their actions. Of course this isn't the case for all of these people that are predators, just a portion of them. Sadly there are so many mitigating factors that it would be nigh impossible to pinpoint a general reason.



    #33 Little Illy

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    Posted 25 November 2017 - 09:18 PM

    I'm bumping this because in the past two days of my return - this issue has been flashing all over the place.

     

    It really saddens me to see this mindset on the forum :|


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    #34 Cr33pyHollow

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    Posted 25 November 2017 - 09:36 PM

    never let this go away this is so important 



    #35 Lil' Miss Dolly

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    Posted 26 November 2017 - 11:54 AM

    AHH! I've been gone for months and this is still going?! Incompatibility doesn't make you a fake Daddy or a Fake Little. Everyone wants different things - You wouldn't walk into McDonald's and ask for a whopper and then screech like a banshee that they're a fake Burger King because they don't have it. That's how insanely silly this whole argument has become. This community is vast.. with everyone looking for something different. If someone ghosts you or leads you on - They're just a douche. If someone crosses your limits without thought of how it would hurt you - They're most likely abusive. If someone doesn't want to be with you because of your physical appearance/personality/ideal of the community/life goals/etc - it doesn't make them fake; it simply means you're not compatible. You don't have a long term relationship with every person you go on a date with. This is no different. 


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    #36 PrincessNicki

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    Posted 03 January 2018 - 11:54 PM

    I agree 100% with what you’re saying

    #37 Daddymanchetseruk

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    Posted 07 January 2018 - 05:21 AM

    I only read the top part. But the bit I read I completely agree

    Anyway that would call someone a fake daddy is most likely a fake little.
    It's so stupid. There are no rules of how to be etc.. it should Ben a natural progression of two people ideally in love and that part of the relationship as well as everything else naturally evolving.

    I also find this need to put an actual age to it etc..the same. It's like a fad.
    It's unique to the person although obviously some of the same things a lot of people would like.

    Having not read the whole message this could just be my little irrelevant rant but there you go :) x

    #38 Daddy4Princess

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    Posted 10 January 2018 - 03:03 AM

    i think this was very well put together, and would recommend it for a sticky.


    "A Dom needs someone to hold, as much as a sub needs to be held."

    #39 Guest_Ignea_*

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    Posted 10 January 2018 - 03:19 AM

    On the original post, al i can do is

     

    Applaud and tap my hat..

     

    Well said , thank you

     

     

    This should get a sticky or special place o the forum, thought over well , explained cristal clear



    #40 Guest_PaintedBird_*

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    Posted 24 January 2018 - 11:15 AM

    I just wanted to pop in and say I loved this post! Thank you for this!! :)





    Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: DDlg, CGl, MDlb, Fake, Relationships, FakeDaddies, FakeLittles

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