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    Dad jokes... The punnier the better


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    #41 Daddy the cuddle muffin

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    Posted 06 January 2018 - 09:38 AM

    Two antennas met on the roof and the got married. There cerimony wasn't muchbut the reception was amazin

    I heard mario went to a party and it was packed with toads. There wasn't mushroom and none of them were fungis
    • DaddySweetDaddy likes this

    #42 Traveling Daddy

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    Posted 24 January 2018 - 09:13 PM

    What do you call a cow without legs....

     

    Ground Beef


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    #43 throatghosts

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    Posted 24 January 2018 - 09:41 PM

    You're walking in the woods at night with Shia Labeouf.

    You hear a noise- "It's so scary walking in the woods at night!" you exclaim.

    "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone." he replies.

     

    - Actual Cannibal, Shia Labeouf

     

    201509_1343_ecife_sm.jpg


    82_FC2_C34-090_C-4_CD4-_BD8_E-7_C89049_C


    #44 Amber Sweet

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    Posted 17 March 2018 - 11:03 PM

    oh dear lord, so many Dad jokes. Imma show this to my daddy, but i feel like im gunna regret it...



    #45 Guest_McLeodLot65_*

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    Posted 26 April 2018 - 04:52 PM

    A man goes to a funeral, and asks the widow if he can say a word. She nods, so he stands up, says "Plethora", and sits back down again. "Thank you," says the widow, "That means a lot."
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    #46 Guest_McLeodLot65_*

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    Posted 26 April 2018 - 04:54 PM

    What do you call it when a cow swallows a live hand grenade?

    Abominable.

    What do you call it about fifteen seconds later?

    Noble.
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    #47 Guest_Mr. Snuggleuffagus_*

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    Posted 27 April 2018 - 02:00 PM

    What do you call a fish made of sodium?

     

    2 Na



    #48 Angel24

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    Posted 03 May 2018 - 08:31 PM

    *dad pokes child in the head with a measuring tape multiple times*
    Child: dad, what are you doing?
    Dad: measuring your patience
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    #49 Daddy4Princess

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    Posted 15 May 2018 - 07:29 PM

    sOV4hMZ.jpg


    • Frog likes this
    "A Dom needs someone to hold, as much as a sub needs to be held."

    #50 Frog

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    Posted 15 May 2018 - 09:45 PM

    Rick Astley is a big Pixar fan and owns copies of all their DVDs. He'll even let you borrow most of them. But he'll never give you Up.


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    #51 Babykitkat 23

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    Posted 22 May 2018 - 10:04 PM

    what the difference between a fish, piano, and glue?

     

    you can't tuna fish.

     

    what about the glue?

     

    i knew you would get stuck on that one.



    #52 DaddyMilk

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    Posted 23 May 2018 - 02:27 AM

    You can never tell an Egyptian they're wrong because they love being in de-nile.

    Edited by DaddyMilk, 23 May 2018 - 04:53 AM.


    #53 throatghosts

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    Posted 23 May 2018 - 07:23 AM

    You can never tell an Egyptian they're wrong because they love being in de-nile.


    *crickets*

    Kikikikikikiki

    82_FC2_C34-090_C-4_CD4-_BD8_E-7_C89049_C


    #54 Helloprincess88

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    Posted 21 June 2018 - 04:32 PM

    This is my new favorite thread XD

    #55 Frog

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    Posted 26 June 2018 - 09:29 PM

    Saw this today:

     

    Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

    Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.



    #56 Guest_Doe-_*

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    Posted 09 July 2018 - 11:59 PM

    If beer nuts are under a dollar, what are deer nuts? Under a buck!

    #57 Rob

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    Posted 10 July 2018 - 03:20 PM

    I've haddock nuff of these jokes, I cod have done without them. Herring these puns has really hurt my sole. I know it sounds like I'm carp-ing on, I may sound shellfish; I've been gill-ty myself of coming out with puns andbad jokes just for the hallibut myself. But a whole thread? It's not the time or the plaice, is it. It's driving me cray-zy. It should dolphin-ately be stopped, time to fin-ish. Let minnow if anybody else f-eels the same! We have the oppor-tuna-ty to stop it now, to reel it in, don't trout yourself, don't feel orc-ward! Let's make it o-fish-all, Krill the puns now.


    *Collapses in a heap due to fish pun overdose*

    #58 Frog

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    Posted 10 July 2018 - 04:02 PM

    A frog realized his pond didn't have enough lily pads for his wife and tadpoles. He decided he needed to build an addition. He knew it would cost a lot, so he'd need a bank loan for it all. Being a frog, he didn't have many possessions, but he had a little small gold ornament someone had tossed into the the pond long ago.

     

    He hopped to the bank with the ornament, confident he'd get the loan. After all, he was a good frog. He hopped inside and asked to speak with a loan officer. The nice receptionist said Ms Black was free, and she'd call her over. She was a nice lady and asked the frog to follow her to her office. She asked him how she could help.

     

    "Well, Ms Black, I need to expand my pond."

     

    "Oh, that sounds fantastic. But please call me Patty."

     

    "Will do, Patty. It's not a big loan that I need. Unfortunately I've never taken out a loan, so I don't have credit."

     

    She explained he'd need collateral to secure the loan. He presented the gold ornament. Patty wasn't sure if it would cover the loan. "I'll have to call my supervisor in to see if we can help, Mr Frog." He nodded, and she called the bank manager into the office. She explained the situation about the nice frog. The bank manager asked to see the ornament. When he inspected it, he smiled broadly. The frog was optimistic.

     

    He happily exclaimed, "That's a knick-knack, Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"






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