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Long Distance Relationship... Advice?


Foxi-BlueEyes
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Hi there! I'm foxi.

 

I'm newly talking to a Daddy who I really really like. The only problem is He lives in another state and I've never been in a long distance relationship. I'm really nervous about starting a long distance DD/lg relationship but I am absolutely infatuated with this man.

 

So if anyone would be so kind as to offer some ideas, tips, or advice on how to eas my anxiety, stay connected to my possible future Daddy, etc I would really really appreciate it! Thanks!!

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Congrats! I am happy for you, having a daddy is awesome :3

 

I looked for love for many years online and got some interesting experiences. I learned for example that sometimes even the 2 nicest people can hurt each other without meaning to. My advice to you is to be honest and clear about what you want out of this relationship, hopefully he will do the same. Once you have that covered it's just a matter of being patient, understanding, reasonable and keeping jealousy in check if you(or him) struggle with that.

 

How to go about it really depends on what you guys want, do you plan to meet in person soon? someday? ever?

 

I see you are in Florida so he is in the states as well... you guys are lucky mail is decent over there! care packages and letters are the most romantic thing ever, you might want to consider something like that for special occasions.

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Guest pinklemonade

Make sure the distance is addressed before you agree to start a relationship,discuss the things that you want out of the relationship in particular, how often will you talk, phone calls and Skype, that sort of thing.Assuming that you do want to meet set a date as soon as you both feel comfortable, that way you can make sure that you will have something to look forward too! Care packages will be your life, send each other cute things like drawings and steal the hell out of his wardrobe, that way you can feel that bit closer to him (obviously get to know him slightly better first). In terms of playtime, that's really up for you to discuss, stay safe and stuff but do whatever you feel comfortable with . Me and my daddy aren't as long a distance as you probably but were still pretty far apart and I haven't got to actually cuddle him but that's something I can look forward to in the future and just makes our time together even more precious. It gets really lonely sometimes when all you want is him and you know you can't have him but thats how long distance is. It will only make you appreciate him more.xx

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Quick LDR Survival Guide

 a guide you shouldn't take very seriously.

 

Section I: Ground Rules

 

This is important for every relationship you'll enter in your entire life. Make sure you and your partner(s) are wanting the same and/or similar things in the long haul, especially one as a Cg/l. Things such as: Are your goals and ambitions compatible? Have you talked about what you want for the future (kids, pets, religious activities, etc)? Will this relationship be strictly LDR or do you want to move closer to one another? If so, who will do the moving? How do you want your relationship as partners and as a Caregiver/little? Will you be monogamous or poly? Have you began to talk about how you want to "set up" your roles as Cg/l? These are just a handful of serious questions that need to be asked before you consider a long term commitment.

 

Section II: Communicate

 

Being in a LDR can be really tough! And sometimes even with your partner is actively talking to you, you'll feel lonely. It's not called "long distance" for nothing. To make it work, you have to put in maybe more effort than an "in person" relationship might take. However, some people either try to spend all their time talking or don't talk at all. Be conscious of their schedule (I don't care how many cute posts talk about wanting a good morning text... if you wake me up at 3am, I'm grumpy!), respect their personal time, and never make your partner feel guilty about wanting more/needing less social time. However this does not excuse ignoring your partner for days on end and you should never accept being treated like this. 

 

There's a lot of apps for this! 

 

Lovebyte: My personal favorite, just because of how cute it is! You and your partner can send "secret" scratch off messages, photos, and notes. It has a "days together" section and a manual update status (location, battery percent, time, weather, etc)!

 

Skype: Video, picture sharing, and text messaging. Also super common!

 

Discord: Skype for gamers, video calls in beta testing.

 

Touch Room: Send virtual kisses to one another! This app allows user to touch the screen. When your fingers touch the same area, it vibrates. A kiss!

 

Rabb.it: Watch movies together! Chat via voice chat or text.

 

----

 

The eventual fight - all couples have these. However arguing through text is extremely dangerous as things often come out unintentionally (people are more likely to say things when the aren't face-to-face). My best advice is, when you feel like you're getting frustrated, let the heat simmer down. Take time to find out why it upsets you, things you can and can not compromise on, and go from there. I absolutely love this story called "Why Do We Shout?" [link] If the story is too long, simply remember, "most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply," by Stephen R Convey. 

 

 

Section III: Date Night

 

Who doesn't love having special "us" time? LDR shouldn't be any different! Plan to both of you to order pizza (or better yet order pizza for your SO if that's your thing), and watch a movie together on Rabb.it! Other ideas include: Doing games together in video games (MMOs are perfect for this), going on virtual tours of one another's home/favorite spots, prepping up extra-little Littlespace to share with your partner (I like to lay out a big blankie with stuffies and several activities while he watches and we converse).

 

Me and my partner are gamers, so I'm pretty bad at this. uwu; I bet you can come up with all sorts of cool stuff though!

 

Section IIII: Explore each others interests!

 

This might seem really small and insufficient, but in the long run this is what's going to give you things to talk about. I mean, how long can you talk about that one time your cousin Joey lite his hair on fire? When 90% of LDR is conversation, you'll run out of things to talk about quickly. Trying out the things your partner enjoys, even if you don't think you'll enjoy it, will help you better understand them and open up new routes of conversation. At least you'll finally know who that one guy in that one show is that he/she always talks about! Also, it's okay to run out of things to talk about. If you simply enjoy one another's company, there's nothing to be worried about.

 

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to send me a direct message! Also, please excuse any grammar mishaps. This turned a lot longer than I thought it would!

Edited by Strawberry Sprinkles
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The post above said a lot and I will try not to repeat too much.

Communication is, as always, the key. Even more so if you talk about text a lot. Sometimes things don't translate they way they were meant. A joke can suddenly feel insulting and so on. If something isn't clear, ask for clarification. Getting to know each other long distance is a bit different to getting to know each other in person because you might not get to see much of your partners facial expression and body language in the beginning.

Tell each other if your in a bad mood/ill so the others can adapt to that and may dial back a little on their expectations when it comes to the frequency of answered texts.

Also prepare for days of frustration. Not being able to be close to each other in a physical way (not necessarily naughty stuffs but like just a hug or a touch) can take a toll on a person and put a strain on the relationship.

Honesty helps. Openly communicate wishes, fears and needs.

Edited by Keks
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