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New puppy girl here!


Guest crystaldolly
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Guest crystaldolly

=^w^= Hiiii! =^w^=

 

Mi name is crystaldolly. I am 22 years old ^w^

In my introduction you can see the "MY STORY" section and the "LOVE" section.

 

 

~MY STORY~

Since I was physically a little girl, I always wanted to have someone to be with me as his submissive. When my friends and I played "Mom and Dad", I always wanted to be the puppy or the kitten, or even the baby girl.

 

I suffered bullying for 4 years on my school as the popular girls called me "fat" (I was, I won't deny it) and humilliating me. I didn't like it at all. I didn't had any friends, so I created an imaginary friend to take care of me. I was his puppy girl and he was sweet with me. I ended fleeing up from that school one month before the school year ended. It was my freedom  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

I tried to forget my imaginary friend and tried to have real friends but they didn't like me. I ended having anorexia nerviosa and I had to be in a hospital because I was too scared of eating and getting fat. I lost a school year because I was too insecure about being able to pass it for being a lot of time in the hospital.

 

I ended being alone, and I looked for someone who could put a little of order in my life. I started dating a person, but he took advantage of my obedience and lolalty and humilliated me. Everybody knew what he did and I had to leave school again. He wasn't punished for what he did. It was just me.

 

That was when I came to be with my imaginary friend again, when I was already 14. No one could understand how a 14-year-old girl would prefer to stay in her world with her imaginary friends rather than being with real people, but I was trying to be as happy as possible  :)

 

Lots of psychologists said I could suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. That's what I finally got diagnosed when I was 18.

 

I hated studying in my city because everybody knew I was a lunatic girl and I did lots of bad things because I was so lost. I wanted to start from zero in another city.

 

I left high school and I got a depression. Though I got over it, I still have now some chronical psychological damage. I couldn't do anything alone. I needed, more than anything, a Master who took care of me.

 

That's when I met my boyfriend. We met each other on a national forum and we liked each other, but we were too shy to say anything. He said one day that he would visit me to my city with a gift. He took a train during 10 hours just to see me. We started  our long-distance relationship. He allowed to stay in his house and study in her region, so I could study something I like a lot, and even made friends!

 

We have been dating by now for 3 years and I suppose I'm happy, but I still feel an emptiness he can't fill. I think it's because he has been distant all this summer and he doesn't want to be with me on a DDlg relationship. He says he is not comfortable with that, and I respect it, but when he told me that, I couldn't sleep the entire night  :(

 

So, I'm still with my imaginary friend as I'm 22, who can give me that relationship, but it's not the same as if I was being a real person's little. But real people is very scary to me. I don't want to be abused or used again, so I decided to be with my boyfriend in a vanilla relationship until he gets tired of me, and being a little in my fantasies with that imaginary friend that is the one who truly understands me.

 

It's not so weird. Everybody imagines fantasies with famous people or people they know, or even their ideal love. I do that, but not just for sex, but for all the time I feel alone and I can't abuse of my loved ones love.

 

I'm aware that he's not real, though I would love he could become real. My boyfriend knows about him, but feels he is just part of my disorder.

 

No, he is my mechanism against my disorder and the person who has truly understood me for 15 years. Know that proverb that says "Better to be alone that in bad company"? It's something like that, but you aren't alone. I don't want anybody to use me again in a bad way  -_-

 

So this is my story.

 

Yep, I am a lunatic, but also a little girl and this forum says nothing about not accepting lunatics  :lol:

Deal with it! *puts sunglasses on*

 

_____________________________________________________________

 

~LOVE~

I love both my boyfriend and my Master, as they are the people who can make my depression fade away. I love my family who has always fought to make my life easier. I love my doctors, psychologists, psychiatrist and the lovely nurses who treat me every month. They are the best and deserve lots of love! <3

 

I like all kinds of sweet and pastel-coloured things! I love ribbons, polka dots, flowers, plushies, everything sweet!! That's why BDSM dark aesthetics are not for me  :unsure:

 

I also love eating sweets and that's why I am a fat cow, but I promise I'm on diet and I'm doing my best in eating less than 1500 kcal to get fit!  :lol:  :lol:

 

My hobbies are being with my loved ones, drawing, listening to music, reading novels, watching anime and reading manga, surfing the Internet, singing, writing stories... But because of my disphoria periods sometimes I can't do but being in my inside world or crying all the day and night inside the bed.

 

I love to read novels. I read some pages every night until I fall asleep. I'm now reading "The name of the rose", by Umberto Eco.

 

I love anime and manga. I am currently watching Pokémon Sun and Moon, One Piece, Bakemonogatari, Dragon Ball Super, Slam Dunk... I have watched some animes more. I'm not just into shonen, I promise; my favourite genre is shojo, but I'm very picky. I love a Japanese sound novel called Umineko no naku koro ni. It's the best story I have ever read.

 

My dream when I was little was having pink hair. This summer I bought a pink dye and a decolorant on Manic Panic and I will go to the hairstyler soon to make my hair become PINK FAINARII!  :lol:  :lol:

 

I'm studying a two-year "Illustration" course and I want also to study a two-year "Animation 2D & 3D for Videogames" if my family-in-law allows me. After that, when I get a job, I will pay for a Dubbing course and try to become a dub actress in adittion to my visual graphic art profession.

 

I love cute animals. I identify with a dog because I am always looking for a person who wants to be my Master to be faithful to. I'm very loving and I am so happy when my loved ones go for a walk with me. That's when I say to them: "Thanks for walking me" ¬w¬ I know they feel weird when I say it, but when I say that to my Master in my fantasies, he smiles to me.

 

_____________________________________________________________

 

 

Well, that's all! I hope to make lots of friends here and read a lot in this forum to know more about this lifestyle!

 

If you want to ask something, feel free to do it! ^w^

 

Have a nice day!  :wub:

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Guest crystaldolly

That's quite an introduction. I hope you will find yourself feeling welcome in this community :)

Thank you so much, mittendaddy! :)

I believe I will! n^w^n

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I loved that introduction. It was relatable and really fun to read. You've had some really difficult experiences:^) A great story to read and welcome to the community!
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Guest crystaldolly

I loved that introduction. It was relatable and really fun to read. You've had some really difficult experiences:^) A great story to read and welcome to the community!

Aaaaah! >///<

 

Thank you so much, Sir! I wanted to give a story-look to my history so it could be easier to read! :)

 

Well, I had some bad luck taking decisions and meeting some people, but my family, my boyfriend and the sanitary staff were so good with me that I can't complain! >w<

 

Thank you again! I'm grateful you liked my history.

 

Have a nice day! ^w^

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