Need advice

[Anonymous22]

So I recently became a daddy to a really special girl. I'm going through a lot of issues in my personal life right now. Not sure how to word this properly but this is my first time in this dynamic. We recently made a list of rules together. My question is. Should I still punish her for breaking the rules if she has good intentions and she is trying to help me ? Thanks in advance.

[Alaskan Daddy]

Hi

I am a daddy also. The rules we make between our littles are there to uplift our relationship not own it. We own the rules, not the other

way around. One thing I also have learned is that every problem has its own special solution. I would ponder things in your heart and 

then discuss this with your little. Between the two of you, there will be a solution. I hope this helps.

[Guest DeOriginalMittens]

Honestly, if my little did that to me, i would smile and pet her head telling her i appreciate what she did for me. At the same time, I would also have to make sure she wasn't doing it to be bratty, some will break rules for attention, your attention specifically. This isn't a bad thing, you have to enforce the rules though because that's what the bratty type want. So really it depends on the situation and intent behind it. But I would say from the sound of it, no, I wouldn't. Just make sure she is innocent in her breaking the rules

[Anonymous22]

Thanks for the quick responses. Maybe it will help if I'm a bit more specific. She has school early in the morning, and I was upset about something unrelated to her, and she wouldn't go to bed because she was sad that I was sad basically. I tried pushing for her to go to sleep but she wouldn't. Also we are apart 2 days a week and when this happened was one of the days apart.

[THE BATMAN]

In general rules are rules and they should always be followed it brings structure to your littles life which for many is very important. As a daddy especially if you are new to it it can be hard to enforce them and see it through but ultimately you must stick with it, yes there will be times when you may feel a bit harsh or mean that's only natural and comes with the title. In this specific situation she is obviously upset for you so maybe have a talk with her and explain to her how you feel. Either you wait to fully commit to rules until things get sorted out and you are in the right head space. Or if you feel that regardless of your situation you are ready to commit to the rules then go for it. Either way you must talk to her about this, don't put to much pressure on yourself it sounds like you have enough of that at the moment. Also don't feel like you have to make any decisions on your own just because you are a daddy, at the end of the day you are a team and communication and honesty is the key. I'm sure you will figure it out . Edited October 12, 2017 by DC_Mr J

[Anonymous22]

In general rules are rules and they should always be followed it brings structure to your littles life which for many is very important. As a daddy especially if you are new to it it can be hard to enforce them and see it through but ultimately you must stick with it, yes there will be times when you may feel a bit harsh or mean that's only natural and comes with the title. In this specific situation she is obviously upset for you so maybe have a talk with her and explain to her how you feel. Either you wait to fully commit to rules until things get sorted out and you are in the right head space. Or if you feel that regardless of your situation you are ready to commit to the rules then go for it. Either way you must talk to her about this, don't put to much pressure on yourself it sounds like you have enough of that at the moment. Also don't feel like you have to make any decisions on your own just because you are a daddy, at the end of the day you are a team and communication and honesty is the key. I'm sure you will figure it out .

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to write this. I will definitely be able to have a more productive conversation with her now. Thanks so much!

[THE BATMAN]

No problem, glad I could help

[HampshireBloke]

Although it's important to have clear rules and sanctions for breaking them, there are times when you might want to make exceptions. If you are consistent the vast majority of the time, I think it's totally fine to say something along the lines of 'Normally you'd have to go bed now, but I'll let you stay up a little bit longer just for tonight because I don't want you going to bed worrying about how I am'

I think rules should be in place because they are in the best interests of the little, not because the CG wants them to randomly obey. Sometimes it is in the littles best interest for the rules to be relaxed.