Princess_Of_Friday Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 Hey all! I found this forum a few nights ago, and it seems like such an educational and welcoming place! The problem is...I'm not too sure I belong here I'm actually not sure where I belong, exactly... I'm 24 years old, and over the years I've come to realize that I enjoy referring to romantic partners as Sir but I really love referring to them as Daddy. Other things I love that make me suspect that I might be a little: 1. Letting Daddy speak on my behalf or handle brand new social interactions (I don't have anxiety or anything, I'm just super awkward sometimes, I've been told it's cute but it mostly just feels embarrassing V_V ) 2. I still have plushies on my bed. I really didn't even think this was weird, until a friend pointed it out to me. I also generally like super cute things, and feel no shame about my interests in Hello Kitty or wearing an Elmo onesie (it's amazingggg). 3. I like feeling small. I may not be able to explain this correctly, but I like the feeling that comes when I make a mistake or get really nervous about something and Daddy says he's going to fix it. It just makes me really happy (and it turns me on but I don't think I'm supposed to go into detail about that ) 4. I like being referred to as "little one" or "baby girl" or "little princess" and etc. This adds to the feeling of being small, which I like. HOWEVER The thing I don't like: 1. Ageplay. I may like cute things and like having a Daddy, but I have zero interest in the ageplay aspect. I'm a firm 24, and I get no enjoyment out of Littlespace (I'm not even sure I could enter it, even if I tried). This seems to be the major difference between DD/lg and a Dom/sub relationship dynamic, but as I mentioned earlier, I really enjoy feeling like Daddy's completely in charge, I'm just not interested in the ageplay. I just don't know. Can I really be a little if I'm not interested in ageplay? I used to think I was just submissive, but that didn't really seem to suit me, either... I'm open to any and all suggestions I'm trying to nail this thing down before I go looking for a new Daddy. My ex was perfectly fine with not including any Ageplay, but I don't want to disappoint a future partner by mislabeling myself. What to do...What to do... P.S. I don't have anything against people who ageplay! I just can't get away from my own self-awareness long enough to roleplay V_V Probably has something to do with my ever-present awkwardness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormChad Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) - Edited February 2, 2018 by StormChad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dean Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 The most important thing is getting to know who you are, what you like, and what you don't. You seem to have a good grasp on those things. Don't worry about the labels so much. No two littles or middles are alike. Just as no two Daddies or Doms are alike. Because no two people are alike. There are many general types of littles and middles here. Whether or not you like diapers, stuffies, frilly dresses, or even cute names doesn't decide if you are a little or not. Only you can define that. Do you have some interests and mental/emotional aspects that fall under the "little" umbrella? Yes. Does that make you automatically a little? Only you can decide that. You also don't have to identify as a certain age or ageplay or go into littlespace to be a little. It's just a label. Don't let it define you or how you should be. You define the label so that if fits who and how you are. It's a conversation starter. I hope you find all the answers you are looking for. This is a great place with a lot of great people, all with their own perspectives. Welcome to the forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Classiccanadianguy Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) There’s an important distinction between DD/lg and age play. Hopefully, it will move you a bit further along in understanding how you fit. Please take these comments as broad generalizations... DD/lg is mostly (but not exclusively) about age regression; a psychological change wherein the person begins to actually think and feel like a younger age range. Think of it as a coping mechanism wherein the individual’s psyche seeks to interact with the world in a more innocent and playful way. When regressing, they are said to be in “little space” which is an altered frame of mind. This is entirely different than age play. The regression period (“little age”) often corresponds to a time frame before some type of trauma occurred in the life of the little. It may be the death of a family member, parents divorcing, sexual abuse, the onset of mental illness or a significant change in their environment like moving to a different city that leads to a loss of important friendships and social connections. Whereas they were carefree and felt secure before the trauma, an age regressor now feels very uncertain and even fearful of the world around them most of the time. Retreating to little space relieves some of that anxiety. Because they are now in a much younger mind set, most in the community feel sexual interaction while in little space is inappropriate and even abusive because the little does not have the full capacity of giving informed consent which is one of the three bed rock principles of BDSM usually referred to as SSC (safe, sane, consensual). A responsible caregiver (Daddy/Mommy etc) provides the little freedom to regress without exposing them to additional trauma.Age “play” on the other hand is the domain of the fetish or kinky side of the BDSM lifestyle. Age players use props like clothing and toys to engage in sexual interaction of a taboo nature but they do NOT regress in any way. Whereas the age “regressor” (little) interacts with the world around them in a child like manner as a form of escape from stress , the age “player” DELIBERATELY interacts with the world in a childish way for sexual thrill. Keep in mind there are littles who also engage in age play Think of the two this way: age regression is a natural or organic behavioral change while age play is a consciously chosen behavioral change. Hope that's helpful Edited October 21, 2017 by Classiccanadianguy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sweetie77 Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 Thank you Princess of Friday! I feel some of the same things you do and the answers you received have been very helpful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neko Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 You absolutely 100% do not need to have a Little Space or age regress to be part of dd/lg. Everyone's relationship is different. Nobody follows specific rules in order to be part of dd/lg. If you feel like you're a Little, then you're a Little Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Classiccanadianguy Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 You absolutely 100% do not need to have a Little Space or age regress to be part of dd/lg. Everyone's relationship is different. Nobody follows specific rules in order to be part of dd/lg. If you feel like you're a Little, then you're a Little I absolutely agree with you regarding any expected rules or standards. It’s one of the great joys of BDSM that we can adjust the dynamics of our interactions in ways that are beneficial to us. For that reason I began my comments with the statement “DD/lg is mostly (but not exclusively) about age regression;” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Untwisted Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 All the answers above, but basically this: If you feel like you're a Little, then you're a Little There isn't a standard that defines the labels, everyone is an individual and different and that includes every little (and big and middle and whatever). From your description or yourself, I'd assume you were a little regardless of what you thought, and yes, you're in the right place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Arc Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 There is no set way to be a little! If you feel like a little then you are. Simple as that. I come from the same background as you. I'm a submissive in a D/s relationship who enjoys a more nurturing and caring type of relationship. The Daddy title excites me far more than Sir. I personally identify as a middle. I don't personally do any age play and have no interest in it. I just like being playful and being cared for, and feeling smaller than my partner. I like my partner knowing that I'm capable of taking care of myself, but wanting to do it for me anyway. My independence is still important to me, but having someone take control because they want to is nice. So to answer your question... you can totally be a little without age play. It's whatever you make of it. And if a partner is disappointed then it's their fault for not getting to know what being little means to you. It means something different to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
osito Posted October 21, 2017 Report Share Posted October 21, 2017 You are you. If you feel like you fit into every stereotypical little category, that's fine. If you don't, that's still fine. Don't worry too much about labels, as others have advised. Just be you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkunkPrincess Posted October 24, 2017 Report Share Posted October 24, 2017 There is no 'real way' to be little. If you consider yourself little, then you are. Every little is different, so are you (-: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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