Littles that Leave

[sullenDaddybones]

I have noticed that most of the negative discussion about DDLG reflects around Daddies/CGs that abandon their Littles. Meanwhile I have noticed in my own recent experiences(not all)

 

Most of the time. . . The Little is the instigator as much as the Dominant Daddy in departing. Since 2008 I have left 1 Little(she wanted me to go unless I begged her to stay at that point, we cried on the phone 200 miles away from one another over it and again 500 miles away) it was painful.

 

Then after this 5 or 6 Littles I've come to known have all left me. Whether I did something wrong or not I do not think it mattered. Nobody is perfect. I don't think they're perfect either, they were just people that changed their mind. 

 

Daddies often stay. I have never left a Little, and I suppose I never will once a devotion is made unless of course there is no other way to reconcile differences. So there are Daddies out there and CGs that are actually Rock Solid... All these abandonment fears are a little bit hyped In my Opinion. 

 

So Littles take a look in the Mirror and remember that you're not alone when you get abandoned I have been there. It's painful and like life we all lose people and it shouldn't happen but it does and my heart is with you all! Good luck People just ranting I suppose :/

[Guest pacibrat]

I think that littles are just more likely to talk about it.  I'm sorry that you've gone through that.  I've only had one Daddy and he couldn't be my Daddy anymore because he's depressed, etc.  Whether little or CG, it's hard to trust again after you've come to rely on someone to be there and then they take that away.  I think we all just need to remember that it's the same in regular world too.  People date and grow apart or move on to someone else.  Is it right?  Well, it definitely hurts one person, perhaps both.  It's very difficult in this day and age to find someone who will be a partner for life. We are a throwaway society (that's why our divorce rate is so high).  Then again, I also don't believe in staying just to stick it out.  If someone isn't happy, it's better that they move on.  I'm single right now.  While I would love to have a Daddy, I'm just not ready to put that level of trust into someone after my recent experience.  I wish you, and everyone, the best in finding what they need!

[Guest mrfahrenheit451]

All relationships are built on trust. 

And its hard to build and maintain trust when you've been hurt before. 

Its taken me over a year past my last relationship to start looking again. She already moved on. Its hard. Its unbelievably hard and I don't have to deal with little feelings getting mixed into the equation. But I still have to move forward or else I never will.

But you're not the only one, I just think like what pacibrat says, littles are more vocal about it. But you're not alone man.

Peace. 

[Guest SUeB]

Some dudes are losers, some chicks are losers. Some chicks get very badly hurt, some dudes get just as badly hurt. End of story. Perhaps the girls just complain and talk about it more because we are generally more open about our feelings. Again....generally.

[Guest JayRingo77]

I have to agree with Pacibrat.  I think the incidence of who leaves whom probably falls in closer to 50/50 if we could sample 100% of the population; however, the Littles are more vocal when it happens.  This isn't meant to disenfranchise you, Sullen, quite the opposite.  There are other Daddies out there who have been left in the lurch.  Who feel like you.  Reaching out when abandonment happens might encourage other Daddies to do the same so this doesn't feel so lop-sided.

 

Try not to let a small portion of the overall picture determine how you paint the entire scene.  It sounds like you're on the right track as a Daddy.

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

By the nature of the relationship, it is much more likely it is less than ideal to the little. And it is much more likely it is caused by ineptitude from the dad's part.

It may be many times the dad not happy ? Ofc. But it is less likely.

A good dad will be able to make it work in an less than ideal situation for him much more than the little could. And that is a responsibility we need to be prepared to, and more than often dads are not.

[Pinkchubbyprincess]

Its the hardest thing, harder than a normal relationship ending.

[peter6111]

By the nature of the relationship, it is much more likely it is less than ideal to the little. And it is much more likely it is caused by ineptitude from the dad's part.

It may be many times the dad not happy ? Ofc. But it is less likely.

A good dad will be able to make it work in an less than ideal situation for him much more than the little could. And that is a responsibility we need to be prepared to, and more than often dads are not.

 

I disagree (Or I've misunderstood you). If things don't work out in a relationship, it's not because "a good dad" isn't working hard enough to turn a bad situation around. I mean, even through a little submits power to his/her Dom, the responsobility of making the relationship function is divided equally among the two. 

 

And I agree with JayRingo77, I believe the incidents are more like 50/50 of people leaving each other, which can be devastating for whoever gets abandoned. Afterall, a little can be little without a daddy/caregiver, but it's hard to be a proper daddy without a little...    

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

I disagree (Or I've misunderstood you). If things don't work out in a relationship, it's not because "a good dad" isn't working hard enough to turn a bad situation around. I mean, even through a little submits power to his/her Dom, the responsobility of making the relationship function is divided equally among the two. 

 

And I agree with JayRingo77, I believe the incidents are more like 50/50 of people leaving each other, which can be devastating for whoever gets abandoned. Afterall, a little can be little without a daddy/caregiver, but it's hard to be a proper daddy without a little...    

You misunderstood me. I understand that, despite having gone through college in an English speaking country, it is still my second language.

The responsibility of making it work is from both, but the responsibility to structure and gear the relationship is for the dad only. It is like you saying in an actual family, rise the kids is a responsibility shared by parents and the kids themselves equally.

 

And like many others, in the second statement you mix two distinct things in the BDSM world: Age play and ddlg. A little cannot be in a ddlg relationship without a dad, but can still be a little in the sense they still ageplay. Same word, similar concept, often go along together, but still not the same.

[Guest Misses-Darling]

Regardless of the gender or role that you played within a relationship, losing someone that you care deeply about and invest trust in is difficult. 

I wish you the best in your search for a little.  

[Guest SugarNSpiceSam]

I've found one Daddy and he hurt me severely. My self esteem, he didn't listen to me when I truly needed him and wasn't supportive of me of the choices I wanted to make. So sadly, things had to come to an end because it wasn't satisfying me any longer. I had to be honest with myself and what I was looking for.

 

I'm willing on finding someone who does suit my needs, but I'm sure I'll meet him one day. I just don't expect things to happen over night.

 

Sorry that you had to go through this and I'm sure in time you will meet the right little for you. Keep your chin up!