Help from a switch? Please and thank you

[Neku]

Ok so I'm a daddy, and I'm usually fairly dominant. But when im scared, or feel guilty, or am just feeling it, I feel very submissive, and the more I read and hear about "little world" I guess ill call it ^^; the more i relate.

My kitten doesn't feel comfortable with being a dom, and I make sure never too force her on that. And sometimes I just can't control it and I feel bad towards my baby kitten... I guess I'm not really sure what I'm asking ^^; I guess, is this normal? And what should I say?

[Guest JayRingo77]

First, toss normal out the window.  Be you - that's 'normal.'

 

Is it really a full shift to submission or is it more a desire for support when you're feeling scared/guilty?  Is there something specific you're desiring?

 

I ask because if your 'kitten' isn't comfortable with a power shift, perhaps she will be open to the idea of being a source of support rather than control when you feel this shift.  

[Neku]

@jayringo77

I guess I want to feel taken care of and guided?

[Guest JayRingo77]

@jayringo77

I guess I want to feel taken care of and guided?

Cared for may lean more towards equity in the relationship.  That feeling that your affection is being returned through her support when you reach out or receiving a caring gesture without solicitation.

 

Guided...in what context?  Are we talking trying to decide what to wear to work?  What to do with spare time?  Life coach style guidance?  Where this falls will likely determine her ability to accommodate your needs within her comfort zone. 

[Neku]

@jayringo77

I guess I mean protected.

I like feeling like I'm safe and protected.

Idk

I'm fairly new to ddlg

[Guest JayRingo77]

Maslow's Hierarchy...everyone wants to be safe, it's a basic need.  From what you're saying I get the impression this has less to do with wanting to be dominated and more with a base set of expectations and needs that are falling short somewhere.  It may not even be inherent to the relationship.  Job security, housing, financial...something is making you feel vulnerable.  How do you see being dominated improving your sense of security?

[Puppy]

If you're really interested in exploring being a switch and what it entails, but your little is too submissive to be able to go into a more dominant headspace, maybe try going into littlespace with her. Bring this up to her and ask her how she feels. Both partners do not always have to be a polar opposites in the dynamic. There does not always have to be a dominant and submissive. You can both be submissive and still be able to care and provide for each other while being in that little sort of headspace. 

Feeling protected and safe, as already mentioned by Jay, does not always have to involve the dynamic. Your partner, outside of your dynamic you have created together, can still protect you and nurture you without involving any power exchange or dominance. Observe how your life is going and what is going on within your personal endeavors. Make sure nothing is out of place and leaving you to feel on edge and vulnerable. If all is in check and good, and you really are just sort of regressing into a small, little headspace, think about what I said above in my first paragraph.  

 

I hope all the best for you!