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    I Don't Know What To Do

    DDlg Daddy Little Help wanted Advice Help Relationship

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    #1 DaddysLittlePopTart

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 04:47 PM

    I have been in a ldr for nearly two years with my daddy and he means the world to me, I love him so much, but recently the realist in me is coming out and I've realised that this actually working is highly implausible. On top of that, I'm starting to think that he doesn't care about me anymore and everytime he promises to spend time with me, he always has an excuse not to. I feel like I have given him completely every piece of me and I'm getting the bare minimum in return. Please tell me what you think I should do because I've been thinking about this for months and I still don't know what to do :c

    Thank you

    #2 infinitecases

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 05:02 PM

    Do you guys meet up in your LDR or have you not been together in person for those two years? I don't know the situation, but 2 years is an adequately long time to be long distance.. and takes a lot of effort from both sides. Have you tried talking to him about how you feel and that you need him to spend more time with you, and also about your future together and how possible it is?

     

    Talking to him first is the best way to go I think and giving him a chance to see how you feel and therefore, fix it, before you decide to leave or not. If he continues acting like that or not listening etc, then I'd think your worries would be accurate and that you could perhaps think about what you would want to do.. in terms of staying or leaving. 


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    #3 DaddysLittlePopTart

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 05:28 PM

    He lives in California and I live in Scotland, I've tried so many times to talk to him about making plans to meet up, but he just says "soon". I've talked to him before several times about how I feel and he says he'll make it up to me and then bails on our plans. I just feel like such an idiot because I know every time he can just talk me round and nothing changes :c

    #4 DaddyKens

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 05:32 PM

    It's always hard trying to give advice when not knowing the situation.

     

    It could be many things, he may have work, stress, Adult things getting in the way or, it could be as you suspect.

    Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Don't accept excuses, ask him outright how he feels.

     

    Really hope it goes well.

     

    A fellow Scot.


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    #5 DaddysLittlePopTart

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 05:42 PM

    Thank you both so much for your advice, it means alot to me and you've really helped me out a bunch. I will definitely give it a try tonight and I'll let you know I get on c:
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    #6 🍦MilkPop💖

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 05:52 PM

    I hope talking with him helps you (both). :3

    I understand, and it's difficult with ldr especially when it's an ocean apart, because it's more than just driving outer state.

    And I know it's not easy to want to keep at it after a couple of years and no irl contact. You start to feel like "is this all there is?".

     

    Even if I can't help, I just wanted to say I hope it works out alright. :heart: 'Cause I can empathize with your situation.

     

    Also kudos to you for being able to take a step back and think about the possibilities; that can hurt sometimes. :3



    #7 DaddyHudsonValleyNewYork

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 06:08 PM

    I have been in a ldr for nearly two years with my daddy and he means the world to me, I love him so much, but recently the realist in me is coming out and I've realised that this actually working is highly implausible. On top of that, I'm starting to think that he doesn't care about me anymore and everytime he promises to spend time with me, he always has an excuse not to. I feel like I have given him completely every piece of me and I'm getting the bare minimum in return. Please tell me what you think I should do because I've been thinking about this for months and I still don't know what to do :c

    Thank you

    Two years without meeting is a long time. When I was a kid of about 20 years old I was in an ldr, I worked a minimum wage job and saved enough to meet my girl once. She didn't have a job.

    It's been a long time and we are no longer together but if he hasn't been trying to see you, he is most definitely stringing you along.


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    #8 DespicableMe

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 06:46 PM

    PopTart,

    It always requires both people's active involvement to be in a relationship.  People remain in relationships because they are mutually beneficial on some level.  The benefit may or may not be equal for each person at any given time, but for the relationship to work that benefit must be there.  If you find yourself in a relationship that no longer is meeting your needs at some level, then make some changes.  With all you have invested in this relationship, I would suggest your first change would be to talk frankly with your Daddy.  I've seen you in chat at times and I have no doubt that you are capable of expressing your feelings and concerns.  If nothing changes after that talk, it is probably time to move in another direction in your life.  I know that may sound scary, but for the sake of your happiness and mental well being it will be worth it.  You have a community here to help you in the time of transition.  Lean on us (as a community) especially other littles who are or who have gone through the same thing.  I truly wish you all the best as you sort through this time in your life.  

     

    Chin up!  You've got this!



    #9 Guest_mts269_*

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 06:59 PM

    Time to move on. There's another daddy out there who will give you his time, attention, and love.

    And when you meet him your world will be beautiful and you need a beautiful world and it is there where you will have a beautiful DDlg relationship.


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    #10 sullenDaddybones

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 09:04 PM

    ((to relate to you))

    I met a Little on-line recently and started a relationship. At first it was loving and despite our differences we accepted one another. Discussion of a visit and everything were there.  I thought hey, finally the Heavens have gifted me the fruit. Ultimately though they stopped talking to me. They started making excuses about how busy they were. They made promises of an non-existent relationship and all sorts of words of love but these were empty. If I were a younger man I would be blind to the obvious. People love you on different levels. Young more usually as they are less jaded by these experiences(or the less experienced)

     

    I still talk to this person and they still talk about things that make no sense and have all the time in the world when it's selfish and about what they want to talk about. Some people aren't for us as pretty as it looked on paper or in the imagination at first. It's up to you decide though.

     

     

    I have been in a ldr for nearly two years with my daddy and he means the world to me, I love him so much, but recently the realist in me is coming out and I've realised that this actually working is highly implausible. On top of that, I'm starting to think that he doesn't care about me anymore and everytime he promises to spend time with me, he always has an excuse not to. I feel like I have given him completely every piece of me and I'm getting the bare minimum in return. Please tell me what you think I should do because I've been thinking about this for months and I still don't know what to do :c

    Thank you


    Edited by sullenDaddybones, 12 January 2018 - 09:05 PM.


    #11 DavCentral

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    Posted 12 January 2018 - 11:05 PM

    I've had my fair share of long distance relationships.. I have always got to a point where I'm doing everything I can to be together in person. By 6 months I'd have been going crazy and getting on a plane kind of thing.

     

    I guess what you need to figure out is why he isn't pursuing this?

     

    I know it sounds obvious but talk to him, have clear communication, as adults. tell him you want to sit to discuss things, there's no way around it. 

     

    Your solutions comes from being happy with those talks, do not let him talk you round to dropping it.



    #12 Guest_Bratty_little_princess_*

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    Posted 13 January 2018 - 12:33 AM

    Have you guys actually met up?

    2 years is a long time to be with someone.

    How often do you meet up? i feel like you should get a better response than soon.

    I know you care deeply about him but if you aren't getting much back is there much there?



    #13 DaddysLittlePopTart

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    Posted 13 January 2018 - 10:44 AM

    Hi everyone, I talked to him last night about everything and he just said "soon, I promise", even when I pushed it as much as I could, at one point I suggested that I could go visit him if he didn't want to come here and he said "I don't want you to come here yet", even though he said that he still cares about me and that he'll make it up to me, I'm highly doubtful now :c

    #14 princesschelsea

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    Posted 13 January 2018 - 11:08 AM

    This is definitely kinda sketchy. I'm in a LDR, we met after 4 months and we have plans to end the distance soon. When you truly love someone, you'll do whatever it takes to be together and not meeting for that long is unbearable. He sounds like he's stringing you along for nothing, I promise you there are so many other people out there far more deserving of your love :( xx



    #15 DaddysLittlePopTart

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    Posted 13 January 2018 - 12:58 PM

    Thank you, I'm thinking of ending it today but I don't know how to go about it, I really don't want to upset him and I still do love him :c

    #16 DaddyKens

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    Posted 13 January 2018 - 06:30 PM

    I’m so sorry to hear that.

    I understand you don’t want to hurt him but if he does care then it will hurt no matter what. But if he can’t give you an answer and keeps saying soon then perhaps he isn’t as committed as you are.

    I think you have to say to him that you need more stability if the relationship is to continue. And if he can’t give you that then it’s time to end.

    Never the easiest but for your sake it sounds as if it has to be done.

    Be well.

    --------------------------------------------------

    In case no-one has told you today:

    You're beautiful.

    You're loved.

    You're needed.

    You're alive for a reason.

    You're stronger than you think.

    You're going to get through this.

    I'm glad you're alive.

    Don't give up

    --------------------------------------------------


    #17 infinitecases

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    Posted 13 January 2018 - 07:00 PM

    I hope everything goes okay. Even if you still love each other, it’s for the best to leave to find someone who’s more willing to let you into their lives as he doesn’t seem to be ready yet to bring you into his.

    *glitter*  :heart: My daddy (DiamondDog) is the bestest  :wub:  :heart:  *glitter*






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