Daddy Doesn't Want to be My Daddy Anymore

[Rachael_Irene13]

I recently started a romantic relationship with someone and when I told him about my interest in ddlg he seemed really into it. It was new to him so we started off really slow. I would only call him daddy when we were having sex. And we just kind of eased our way into it. We got to a point where I started to feel more and more comfortable being little around him. He had really embraced his role as my daddy and it really seemed like he was into it. He told me he wanted to try out having some rules just for a day to see if it was something he could do. He gave me a rule where I had to crawl everywhere that day. If I needed anything I had to crawl to go and get it. I messed up and forgot and he told me he had to punish me. He spanked me with a belt 10 times. It hurt, but I knew he did it because he loved me and because I broke the rule. He was very nice afterwards, he held me and told me he loved me and that he just wanted the best for me. He rubbed my bottom and put some lotion on it to make it not hurt so bad. He didn't even spank me that hard. It was barely even red. Because, like I said, we're just easing into this. I kind of needed a little more after care than he gave me though and I needed a little time to rest and the whole thing really put me deep into little space. Deeper than I had gone with him before. So I just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with him and my stuffie and watch a movie. And he was kind of okay with that, but he didn't really like my stuffie. And then he got all quiet and I asked him what was wrong and he asked me how I felt about the spankings. And I told him how I felt completely honestly. And then he said okay and got all quiet again and we just sat in bed for a while. About 10 minutes later he told me that he didn't want to do any of this extra stuff anymore. I asked him what he meant and he said any of the ropes or the handcuffs or the punishment or the daddy/little stuff and I'm not sure what to do about that. I really really love him, but this is such a huge part of who I am. I'm not sure I can just turn it off?

[PrincessKittenCupcake]

I think further discussion is needed. There are a lot of things that could be happening, here - things that can be worked on.

 

He might actually like it but be having a hard time coming to grips with it. I think it's pretty common for people to try BDSM, realize they like it,and then feel all kinds of bad about themselves for liking it. He might just need a break to mull things over and come to terms on his own before he can try again.

 

He might also be upset that it wasn't perfect. I have known brand new Daddies who liked it, but wanted to quit pretty quickly just because they made a mistake or did something to upset their Little.

 

Talk more. Do a little more digging. Introducing a Daddy to DDLG is a complex dynamic. You're the Little, but new Daddies also need tons of gentle, positive guidance and support. Find out if there is ANY aspect of DDLG he would like to keep or what his favorite part was. Maybe if he feels like you can be flexible on how you two live out this dynamic, he will be more open to it.

 

Obviously, if he's just done with it, you can't force it, but the timing and events surrounding your conversation make me think there is more to this.

[Guest princessthora]

I agree with the above poster, a lot of the time when people figure out they are into BDSM they freak out or feel horrible about themselves (myself included). It really sounds like you need to talk more about what happened and why. 

[rainbowumbreon]

yeah i agree this sort of relationship will need lots of communication in all aspects to make sure both?all partys are happy and satisfied and enjoying, but yes i will say it is not right to shut out the little in you it is part of who you are and us littles are super sensitive, and being told stuff like that can be completely crushing and soul destroying.

it feels like losing the most important person in your life your cg(daddy), and on top of that when they was previously okay with it then all of a sudden not in my experience i blamed myself not sure how it is for others but YOU are NOT to blame best thing to do would be to talk to him and discuss it with him and see what parts he didnt like and why but never hide you little sweetie 

 

xoxox

[Guest Juggalo king]

I dont see how ppl do that if u join something b willing to stay for a bit ive been into ddlg for 2 years and i love it being a daddy is great except for when trying to find a little thats a pain in the ass so if anyone know a little who needs a daddy send them my way please and thank you but good luck with him

[ThePoet]

I dont see how ppl do that if u join something b willing to stay for a bit ive been into ddlg for 2 years and i love it being a daddy is great except for when trying to find a little thats a pain in the ass so if anyone know a little who needs a daddy send them my way please and thank you but good luck with him

Uhh very informative, pal, and thanks for your opinion? The personals section is that-a-way --> XD

 

I'm not a little, but I'm an artist, and my advice in these situations always come down to this metaphor: if I were with someone who told me that they love the idea that I'm an artist, but wanted me to stop painting, I would have to leave. No matter how much I thought I "loved" them and that they were - god bless - the "one" I know that I couldn't sacrifice that part of myself. My art is a part of the foundation of my character. I hope to imagine that this might be similar for some people's little space. There are a lot of sacrifices and compromises I am willing to make in a relationship; when two individuals combine their entire worlds into one, there has to be some leeway. But my art is me. To give that up is to give up me, and if you don't want me as I am, why would I give up who I am for you? You need to know whether your littleness is more fundamental to your identity, or if this other person is. I remember being young and thinking that everyone was "the one" but when you get older you come to realize that there are many "the ones" and it's your responsibility to settle on the right one. You may work through this; it may be something you can compromise on, or work toward. But know that if this is who you are, and it's not who he is, then your future may still out there waiting for you. You deserve to be happy as you are, and you will be. Talk with him... but nothing is set in stone, and remember to stay true to yourself.

Edited March 12, 2018 by papapresents

[Poisoned Daydream]

I guess for all this stuff to work you both have to be liking the same stuff and it looks like he tried it but I guess its not for him.  You can’t turn it off and he can’t turn it on?

 

Try talking but if your not in the same head space, then you will need to decide what you can and can’t live with if you stay with him.

 

[Guest Revurex]

. Edited October 17, 2018 by Revurex

[Guest DuckDaddy66]

 Because, like I said, we're just easing into this. I kind of needed a little more after care than he gave me though and I needed a little time to rest and the whole thing really put me deep into little space. Deeper than I had gone with him before. So I just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with him and my stuffie and watch a movie. And he was kind of okay with that, but he didn't really like my stuffie. 

 

If he is new to this, try the care giver role with him first.  To me (I am still new) it's really about CG first, then the Daddy Dom next.  I am very natural care giver.  He needs to understand after care first before even being  a Dom.

[hisangel]

Talk to him about it if he's willing. My Daddy and I (hubby) started out with domestic discipline and eventually moved to DDlg a few years ago. When we were doing domestic discipline it was very very off and on from 2009 up until 2014. It took a lot of talking and explaining to get things where they are now.