Is being nervous natural?
Posted 11 March 2018 - 04:55 PM
Posted 11 March 2018 - 05:00 PM
Yes, it's normal to be nervous when something is new. Don't let the older people here tell you that you can't be a good Daddy at your age (you might also read this in their comments.....it's bollocks.....we all have the capacity to learn and grow at any age). You do have a lot to learn, but so would someone who is 40 who is new to DDlg. My suggestion is to find a little who is okay with you being a new Daddy. Maybe you could find someone who is new to being a little and you two can explore together. Though, I do suggest learning as much as you can and understanding the dynamic to the best of your ability before taking on a little. When you do find one, communication as ADULTS is essential. It isn't just Daddy/little. You need to get along on an adult level and you need to be able to communicate as adults.
- Juan_OceanSoul likes this
Posted 11 March 2018 - 05:03 PM
Posted 11 March 2018 - 05:09 PM
Never really been nervous about being a Daddy myself. I sense you may be talking about the same kind of nerves one gets one a first date or something, but I could be wrong. This is what I'm referring to.
HOWEVER, being a good Daddy and ensuring the happiness of my little is always my first priority and is always on my mind. If this is what you're referring to then I'd assert that it's a good thing as a good Daddy is always conscious of nurturing their little, caring for them and helping them grow as people.
Although, if you find yourself nervous that your little is genuinely unhappy then that's a sure sign you need to sit down and talk as partners with a common goal of happiness together.
Another thing worth noting is that getting new relationship jitters is ok! It might not affect us all but that doesn't make you a bad Daddy, it makes you an individual and it makes you human. We're all different and it only really becomes an issue if it never really goes away and/or it prevents you from enjoying your relationship with your partner.
So in short, what you're describing as nerves is probably just you being conscious of being a good Daddy. This is likely a good thing and will probably go away as you two start to get comfortable together. Don't get down on yourself for who you are but be mindful not to let paranoia consume you either. Good luck my dude!
- Bambi95 likes this
Posted 11 March 2018 - 06:12 PM
This is a great place to find friends and people to talk to about every aspect of this life. Thanks for having the courage to post. Good luck my friend.
Posted 18 March 2018 - 04:31 PM
Being nervous about a new and fairly emotionally demanding relationship dynamic is only natural, and the fact that you're nervous about being good enough can actually become a good thing if you act on it in the right way. Try not to let it become an insecurity, but early on it can jump start some good habits.
Good behaviors you can try to turn this feeling into would be things like constantly striving for self improvement, wanting to be the best daddy you can and never declaring yourself "done" learning, and never assuming you know the perfect way. You can use these feelings to motivate yourself to grow and learn, but do not let yourself fall into a cycle of self doubt and mistrust. Nobody just wakes up one morning fully equipped and prepared to be a "perfect" daddy, we all had to take time to learn not only how the community believes a daddy should be, but also discover what kind of daddy we want to be. This lifestyle is a journey of constant self discovery and learning, and it needs to be tempered with a constant stream of good outside education.
- Deepseeker9 likes this
Posted 18 March 2018 - 07:54 PM
You're either a Caregiver/Daddy/Dom or you aren't.
Why are you seeking validation here?
I really don't think he's seeking validation, I think he's seeking information to determine if his experience is normal. If he weren't a caregiver/daddy/dom I think we'd all agree it's healthier for the community if he or others with similar concerns figure that out before diving in with a little, and it seems like that's what he's trying to do. Not everyone figures those things out quietly to themselves, and for a lot of folks asking about others' experiences is a good way to do that.
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