Three Day Ghost?

[Guest brandnewkitty]

I have a recent experience that I would appreciate feedback on from DDs and lgs of all  ages, experience levels, and familiarity with the subject matter.

If this is not the place to post, I apologize. 

 

Okay so, I met a DD on a different site. He's actually local so I was excited to talk with him. We had a lot of conversations within a three day period. Just three days.

 

Now, as a new little, I have done a lot of reading and researching into our community. And one of the biggest pieces of advice is to go slow. I am not good at slow. I am good at getting interested, then excited, then elated, and all in a very short amount of time. 

 

In our conversations we talked a lot about me. Well, I shared a lot about me because I'm always worried my flaws will be a turn off. I'd prefer to get them notated at the beginning before delving further and the person learns I sometimes fart in my sleep and they can't handle that. I'm clingy. I'm anxious. I'm a worrier. I feel like I'm lying if I don't give as much detail as I can recall. And he answered back with pretty much what I'd like to hear, most of the time. Which, in retrospect makes me more suspicious. Though at the time I did confess my fears of catfishing or the like. And his words, what he shared about his personal life, and little things mentioned that correlated to our general locations and real time things, helped me believe he was real.

 

In our last conversation this snippet passed between us:

 

[An hour and a half into our text conversation]

Me: I'm worried your lack of questions about me may indicate a lack of personal interest in me.

Him: Not at all. I learn by observation.

Me: There hasn't been much to observe thus far.

Him: That's what you think. Your words teach me alot.

Me: *A lot

        Such as?

Him: Your thought process, your likes, dislikes, kinks.

Me: Are you forgetful?

Him: Nope.

Me: Good.

       I am.

       I have sticky note reminders all over.

Him: LoL Plus we are meant for each other, exact opposites.

Me: You know this after three days?

Him: Yep.

Me: What if I chew gum really loudly?

       Or I am rude to servers?

       Or i fart in my sleep?

       *One of those is true.

Him: That's life.

Me: Doesn't mean you have to live with it. Or date it or whatever.

Him: No, but it's what I choose.

 

{ Here is where we had a 28 minute phone conversation. Just talking about the above. Some more of my concerns. And what we'd like this DDlg relationship to be. Also talked a bit more about him and his interests and hobbies. We learned we had even more obscure things in common.}

 

Him: Sexy voice

Me: Yeah, yours is sexy.

Him: Thanks yours made me cum.

Me: And you somehow already know I get turned on by explanations.

Him: LoL

Me: Really?

       Like just now?

Him: Yes

Me: Wow. I'd have liked to hear that.

Him: Okay, goodnight my little one.

Me: Good night. (kissy face) (sleeping face)

Him: Sweet dreams.

Me: Thank you. They'll probably be filled with horse cocks and sword fights. {random throwback reference}

Him: You hope.

Me: LoL, I hope for something besides a dream.

Him: Like?

Me: What we've been talking about, you owning me, being my daddy.

Him: And now you want it.

Me: Think so.

Him: Good.

Me: Yeah?

Him: Yes.

Me: (blushing smiling face)

Him: (Gif of Tinkerbell being spanked and fairy dust flying all around.)

 

 

And that's it. Five days have now gone by. The messages I left on the texting app we used have gone unread. And he has not been on the site where we met.

 

It's taken me this long to get through the denial stage. Now I'm confused and hurt and angry. Was he playing with me? Did he just about convince me to meet and see how it goes only to lose interest once he knew I was interested? Do things like this happen often? I'm still pretty new to "meeting" people like this and having intimate conversations with near strangers. It's true that you never know who is on the other side of the computer.

 

I guess I am really looking for reassurances that it's unlikely something like this will happen again. I don't know. I guess I'm hoping for support and encouragement as well.

[Guest BabyPeach]

It's difficult for us to say why he ghosted because only he knows that, but it seemed like he lacked interest from the conversations you posted.  Why? I don't know.  He could have been using you to get off and was just done with it.  He also truly might not have been that talkative.  I'm a chatterer on text, especially little me.  Very talky.  A lot of men aren't as talky and chatty as I am.  So, that doesn't necessarily denote a lack of interest but at the same time it could.

 

Keep in mind that the ghosting has nothing to do with you.  Neither of you truly knew each other after three days.  Yes, you put a lot of information out there but that doesn't mean that he actually knew YOU. He knew facts about you and your life.

 

Some Daddies do read between the lines of what is said and learn things that way.  We reveal a lot more about ourselves than we think by what we say.  An observant partner can pick up on those subtle things. I think that comes with being a more experienced Daddy and/or Dom.  

 

The bottom line is that if he ghosted, then he isn't the right Daddy for you.  It's better for him to move on and free you up for the person that you should be with.  Ghosting, however, is cowardly.  He should have said that it wasn't working out and wished you well.  That's the mature thing to do.

 

Oh and I wouldn't add "rude to servers" as a possibility because that would beyond awful and reflect negatively on your character. <3

 

I would also like to add that you need to be very careful who you arrange to meet.  Always do it safely, in public, and don't give out any information like your last name, address, etc.  Keep in mind that a stalker and/or crazy person can get information about you from your phone number so also give that out with extreme caution. I have learned that extreme caution is necessary because I have dealt with several stalkers (one online and one offline) and a few crazies. 

Edited April 7, 2018 by BabyPeach

[Guest brandnewkitty]

Thank you for your response.

 

I do tend to be a bit naïve and think everyone is pure and honest. I really don't understand being anything else.

I'm a chatterer too. Big time. LoL I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one.

 

Thank you for the advice, too. I am so new and need all the advice and friendly help I can get! I like this site for that, I'm glad I found it.

[Guest BabyPeach]

You're welcome. I used to be like you too.  I learned the hard way that there are people out there who are just total jerks and some are obsessive and crazy. Here are a few examples:

 

I had one ex threaten to dox me (put my personal info and private sexy pictures that I had sent to him on a website and make it look like I was inviting random men to my HOUSE....yep, home address).  Fortunately, he never did it but that can, and does, happen to people for various reasons.

 

Another local ex became a stalker to such an extent that he literally created a fake FB account of the "perfect" man for me and friended me (he had even friended mutual friends otherwise I wouldn't have accepted his friend request) and eventually we started texting (I was still naive on the giving my phone number out thing) for around 3 months. He had bought a burner phone with a new number so I wouldn't recognize his actual number.  When I pressed to meet the fictional man (he had catfished with some random guy's pictures), he finally told me who it really was.  Omg, you can't imagine the horror. I completely understand what it's like for those people on the show Catfish.  It's ugly and horrible. Fortunately, he was threatened with the police enough to eventually go away.

 

 

An online Daddy interest literally started tracking me online when I declined to continue talking to him (after only ONE week).  He found my Instagram (I don't know how because he had none of my personal info) and when I blocked his Insta account, he started making fake accounts to try to follow me.  I had to put my account on private.

 

........all of these actually happened to me by men who just DID NOT WANT TO LET ME GO.  Maybe I attract crazies, idk.  I'm definitely careful now.

[Guest brandnewkitty]

Oh my goodness. That's all super scary!

I'm glad you have been safe from physical harm during those events.

 

I appreciate you sharing this with me. I will definitely move forward having learned from your experiences.

[Guest You're adorable.]

Umm. I don't wanna sound like i don't agree with what was said above. I agree actually. You never know who is on the other side of the line. 

 

But.

 

You said that messages on the app you used were unread. What if his phone was stolen? He lost it? Or maybe he is just busy? I mean, you have all the right to go forward and forget about him. But i have seen lots of this on the forum, in the chat and so on. People have real life things to take care of too. I am a busy person, and although i always try to find time to talk to my little, somethimes i just can't. I am saying that people here jump into conclusions way too fast. The same thing happened to me actually. I thought she ghosted me after not replying for more than a week, I already accepted it, but after like 3 more days, she texted me, saying that she was too busy. I am not saying that you should wait for him or anything, just to keep in mind that not answering for a while doesn't have to mean ghosting. 

[neworder]

---->> Him: LoL Plus we are meant for each other, exact opposites.

 

Run from any daddy that thinks you are meant for each other so soon. That's sad.

[Guest brandnewkitty]

Thank you both for your input.

It was strangely therapeutic to write about it. Before I did so I was obsessively thinking and wondering, but I haven't thought about the situation at all since.