Constant ghosting

[BonfireToffee]

The last 3 prospective daddies I have talked to have all ghosted me.

 

2 are on this forum, the other I got talking to in a chat room.

 

One of them I even met irl twice, and we seemed to get on great but in each and every case everything seemed fine, we chatted as normal and then next day they've disappeared on me.

 

I can understand why they wouldn't want me as a little but to just vanish completely? Why do it? I spend days wondering if they are ok? Are they ill? Have they been in a car accident? (I know I have an active imagination). The one I met irl even said he was ghosted by his last little and it was awful so why would he do it to me?

 

I'm not a bunny boiler, all that I would need is for a one liner saying that they didn't want to continue, so I'm not sat there wondering if they're dead in a ditch.

 

Now I just think that I'm so repellent that why bother looking for a partner, let alone a daddy. I'm just getting older, uglier and fatter and don't think anyone could want me. I'm fairly new to the dynamic and have never had a daddy before. I haven't been able to get into little space since these happened and right now I don't think I could trust anyone, I just know that they too will find me so horrifyingly awful that they will ditch me too.

 

Sorry to ramble at people

[Guest Aetherr]

firstly i am sorry this has happened to you, secondly i dont think you should pay much mind to it if people are worth caring about then they would say and i know its easy to say and hard to do.. i know this because it has happened to me before.. being ghosted is not fun but i learned not to invest as much into a person right away unless i had assurance from them that they would not leave please try not to let it affect you.. you are a good person and you deserve better and i hope that "better" comes along soon and you are still good an well to see it

[Tinka]

i am so sorry.....    here is a hug if that is ok  --------->   \0/

 

 

i know it hurts. And i know that we all get older, uglier, fatter. 

 

i hope you will meet someone who will be a gentleman towards you and like you without age/appearance restrictions. 

[Guest NvM]

The the problem. A lot of people have huge variations un expectations and most of them don't really come out with what exactly they want or looking for. I have seen this happen a few times.

 

But trust me if they are the kind of people who ghost on you it's better that the get out of your life now rather than later. It hurts for sure but don't spend a moment wasting on them because they are not worth it.

 

You might have an imaginative thought process but it shows that you care. You are a rare breed. Don't change just so that they might like you.

 

And this is more of a suggestion. I noticed that a lot of littles expect the caregiver to initiate the conversation everyday (I'm not saying that you are one of them) but take turns leading a conversation. It shows that you are really interested in the person and not what you picture the relationship to be like. If the caregiver has to lead the conversation with you just answering him he might assume you are not interested

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Why not reach out to them and ask for feedback in order to improve? Maybe there is something seriously weird you're doing. I know if someone sent me a message like that I would certainly reply. However, most people are not honest with each other and lie saying oh it's not you, it's me.

 

If you think this has to do with your appearance then change it! Also, provide photos upfront, that way if someone is not interested in your appearance they can go away sooner than later. I really wish everyone would do that without lying about themselves (filters). It would save quite a bit of time on both sides.

[SamL]

The way people treat me is a refection of their relationship with themselves, not with me.  However, it appears that your Daddy-picker is broke.  That is not meant to be critical of you - but since it is the only part of this terribly painful situation that you have any control over, I'd start looking there.

Edited November 25, 2018 by SamL

[BonfireToffee]

Thank you everyone for being nicer than I deserve.

 

So to answer a few points that people made:

 

- I've always been upfront about what I look like and try to discuss with the person what they want and what I want. I believe I usually just say to them that I'm fat (not just a few pounds extra but whale size) if that's not for them thats fine but I'd rather know now.

 

- They have ignored me completely, no contact whatsoever, so I'm not sure how I could ask them what their feedback of me.

 

-I do try and initiate conversation and ask them things about themselves or how their day is. I'm usually more cheerful when talking than I am in this post.

 

-How do I fix my "daddy picker" so it's not broke?

 

I shouldn't post when I'm having a bad day I'm just so tired and fed up.

Edited November 27, 2018 by BonfireToffee