Don't know how to tell current partner that I'm a little.

[BabyBears]

Hello! I'm super new to these forums, so sorry if i'm posting in the wrong place. 

 

My current partner (he has been for about 5+ years) doesn't know I'm a little.

When we first got into our relationship, I didn't quite understand what DDLG was, and use to question it a lot with him because a lot of my friends were into it at the time and I thought it was kinda weird (oh past me... and not to make a pun, but little did you know....) But he always explained any questions I had to me in a way that made it seem like he really understood it. 

 

It was about 2 years later that I realized that I'm a little myself, and that I had completely misunderstood what being a little was before.

 

We have joked around about the idea in the recent years (or he has at least. he has no idea I'm being serious) and I've even 'jokingly' called him daddy a number of times with almost no reaction to it. If I ever get a reaction out of him, it's usually a really awkward negative reaction.But I don't know if that's because I've been 'joking' around about the topic for so long or not.

 

I tend to get into little space around him, feeling like he doesn't notice. but he also calls me "his little brat" and tends to treat me like you would a little. Reads me bed time stories,buys me and fills up my sippy cup, lets me throw fits and scolds me like a little... So from how he use to talk before about it, I'm getting very mixed signals! 

 

Anyway, my point being... how should I go on talking to him about being a little? I'm so worried I'm reading him wrong, and things will become awkward. I've never come out about this.

[DaddyRaven]

You might consider bringing him to this website and see his reaction to that or giving him a couple of websites that he can learn about dd/lg and see where it goes.  Let him know it's something you really want to try and I think he'll be receptive to it.  

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Oh BabyBears...I'm sorry in advance, because this is going to sound mean, but I was literally laughing so hard reading this that I was actually crying. You just gotta tell him. He sounds like he's really into it. He also sounds like he already knows you're a little. At least part of him does, anyway.

Sorry, maybe I should explain myself. See, my last little was EXACTLY the same way. She had some preconceived notions about what the CG/L lifestyle is and what it's all about, so she used to try to hide it from me for a long time. It wasn't until she found the courage to tell me (I had known for a long time) that she was a little that we finally sat down and hashed out the details, and I became her Daddy.

Long story short, please, BabyBears...Just tell him. Do you want him to be your Daddy? You've been together for a long time already, I think it's safe to say he's probably not going anywhere. Trust me, it only gets better from here as long as you TELL HIM.

Little Papa Phoenix.

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

I really want to apologize...I just read my reply to this thread...And i didn't realize while typing it just how truly CRINGY it is...I didn't realize just how potentially offensive and damaging what I THOUGHT was "humor" truly had the potential to be...So I would like to apologize and just say that, while my delivery was just trash, I stand by my basic message which was, and still is: Just tell him. In the words of GoGo from Big Hero 6: "Woman Up." (Love that movie...Me and my Little self, Nixie, are just a pair of suckers when it comes to Disney in general, but three Disney/Pixar movies have a special place in my heart. Big Hero 6[2014], Hercules [1997], and the Lion King [1994].)

Anyway, sorry for the rambling, just wanted to say...Sorry for the poorly worded attempt at advice...Turns out ADHD, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety/Depression, lack of sleep, and high stress due to processing the loss of my son 1month and 1 day ago make for the perfect storm of badly worded advice, poor judgement, and apparently nonsensical rambling now, which is new...Anyway have a good one! And I'm here if you want to talk! Nixie too! Bye!

[Guest crazycatdaddy]

When it comes to talking about something serious, it's worth writing down what you want to say - at least the key bullet-points so you can keep yourself on topic and to make sure you've said everything you want to say.

 

As to how to tell him, firstly make sure you've chosen a time to discuss it when you're not likely to be interrupted or that either of you will have to leave mid-conversation. So, not first thing in the morning right before he leaves for work! Think about what being little means to you personally, and tell him those things. What do you like about it? What does he do that makes you happy? Compliment him on those things, tell him how much it means to you that he does those things. What you wrote in your post was very articulate so I don't think you will have a problem getting your point across once you know what you want to say.

 

I would advise against just telling him "I'm into DD/LG" and leaving him alone to google it and do his own research, because DD/LG and CG/L can mean 1001 things depending on the people involved. There's no point in him spending a long time looking up how to change nappies or reading an article about how to be great at spanking if those things aren't relevant for you. Websites like this can be helpful for sure, and seeing that there's a wider community might be something he'd like to see at some point, but the initial conversation should really be about how littlespace works for you, what it means for you, and what he does that you like. That seems like a good starting point to me at least.

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

As usual, crazycatdaddy, you really know your stuff...I seriously need to work on my advice giving...I used to be good. I was never THAT good, but better than I am now. But no, on a serious note, yeah, I agree with crazycatdaddy. You gotta figure out what CG/L means to you, then roll with that. But I would also say that you should never feel afraid to talk to your partner. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship, but I'd argue that it is even more important in a Cg/l relationship. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your partner, that's a sign to reevaluate things between you two. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but that's the truth. No communication, no bueno. Just feel free to keep turning to this community for advice, but always be true to yourself. No matter what. Bye for now!