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    I'm new here, and very confused.

    new lgbtq+ confused advice

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    #1 86400Presents

    86400Presents

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    Posted 01 July 2019 - 11:35 PM

    Hi! I'm 86,400 Presents. I'm not comfortable sharing my real name. I use she/her pronouns, and I'm bisexual. I am extremely new to this, and I'm struggling with not hating it. I'm definitely a little, somewhere between 3-5. It's a stress-reliever for me, but I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I can't help but feel like what I'm doing is wrong, even though I know that it isn't. I joined this forum mostly to seek advice. I'm happily engaged, but I feel like my fiancee isn't completely comfortable with it, and struggles to not get upset whenever I slip into littlespace.

    Anyways, this has been an introduction to me. Nice to meet all of you!

    #2 Looby-Lou

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    Posted 02 July 2019 - 12:43 AM

    Hello & welcome to the forum! Most people here don't use their real name on the main threads, so please don't worry about that. In fact, don't worry about anything here! 

    It's very very normal to have mixed feelings about DDlg when you first discover it, and to wonder if there's something "wrong" with yourself for having these thoughts/feelings. Hopefully you'll start to feel more comfortable with yourself as you explore this world and realise you're not alone  :)

    I'd suggest you take time to browse around the forum. There's a LOT of information, ideas & opinions shared here. And if you don't find what you're looking for, you're welcome to ask whatever questions you want. We don't bite (except by consent LOL).

     

    The only thing I'd add is to please make sure you and your fiancee are fully comfortable with each other in ALL areas of your shared life before your actual marriage takes place.  

     

    Wishing you all the best,

    Looby  :)


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    #3 86400Presents

    86400Presents

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    Posted 02 July 2019 - 02:34 AM

    Thank you, Looby. I really appreciate it. I plan to sit down with her this weekend to just have a one on one conversation about my thoughts/feelings, after combing through some of the posts on here.

    #4 Daddy-Tom

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    Posted 02 July 2019 - 07:48 AM

    Welcome to the community. I strongly urge you to explore ddlg with your partner before you get married or establish whether you can be little on your own or have another caregiver if your partner won't be one. You want to avoid the possibility of resentment forming in the future

    #5 Daddys-A-Hero

    Daddys-A-Hero

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    Posted 05 July 2019 - 04:24 AM

    Welcome! It is ok to feel confused or concerned about certain aspects of DDlg or your feelings around it, I certainly know I was when I discovered it. But just have a look around the forums and do a bit of research and I think you'll see there is nothing wrong with you and there are others who share similar thought, feelings and emotions.

     

    In my mind, the biggest worry I had was if it was conflating childhood with sex in my mind, but I realized it definitely is not, for me. I mostly just lean towards wanting to innocently play, and have fun, and explore my inner child, whilst also being able to feel useful and appreciated in a loving, caregiving, protective role. But then again, everyone's takes on what it means to them will be different, and there is no right or wrong way. Just do whatever feels right for you and makes you happy, as long as its consenting adults behind closed doors its no-one else's business!  :)

     

    I would echo what others have said that if this is an important part of you, or a healing metal and emotional outlet, that would be unhealthy to suppress, its vitally important that you have a serious, grown up, sit down conversation with your fiance about it. Before you get married its important you fully understand each other's wants, needs and goals for the relationship. Perhaps once your partner realizes how important it is to you, they will try harder to understand and be more open to fully trying things and seeing if they can learn to enjoy and appreciate it too.  :)

     

    Please do be careful that you are compatible before committing. I sadly know from experience that a partner who is not really into it but plays along sometimes to make you happy, will eventually become emotionally distant, uninterested, and may even start to resent your behaviour. :unsure:  In the long run, that's a very sad feeling for both people. Good luck with everything, I truly hope everything works out!  :)


    I dream of cuddles, and making everyone feel happy, loved and appreciated!  :wub:






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