Jump to content

  •  

  • Photo

    My teacher activates my little?

    school hiding ddlg

    • Please log in to reply
    12 replies to this topic

    #1 Little-Big-Princess01

    Little-Big-Princess01

      Newbie

    • Members
    • Pip
    • 5 posts

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 01:28 PM

    Hello,

     

    I'm currently entering my final year of high school and one of my counsillors/teachers keeps accidentally activating my little. She has two children of her own that are the same age as my little and she subconsciously treats me the same as them, forcing me to take naps, eat healthy, go to doctors etc. Just being very caring in general. 

     

    I obviously can't be little at school, but it is very difficult for me to hide my natural reactions. Does anyone have any tips to suppress my little or delay my response?

     

    If anything is unclear feel free to ask!

     

    thank you



    #2 Little kaiya

    Little kaiya

      Daddy Wolf's little pink champagne fox

    • Members
    • PipPipPip
    • 557 posts
    • LocationCanada

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 01:42 PM

    Ummm, perhaps the more pertinent question is why a high school teacher is crossing the boundary of professionalism into dubious behavior by "forcing" you to take naps, eat healthy or go to the doctor. Having worked in a school board system for several years this seems unprofessional at best and actually concerning at worst.

    Rather than trying to suppress or delay your little response I would be suggesting you set firm boundaries, remind them they are your teacher and put an end to behaviour that a teaching professional should not be engaging in with their students.

    Little kaiya

    Edited by Little kaiya, 17 July 2019 - 02:39 PM.

    • DaddyDoom, mermaid.glitter, MysticSand and 2 others like this
    Little kaiya 💖🦊💖

    #3 Little-Big-Princess01

    Little-Big-Princess01

      Newbie

    • Members
    • Pip
    • 5 posts

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 02:49 PM

    Ummm, perhaps the more pertinent question is why a high school teacher is crossing the boundary of professionalism into dubious behavior by "forcing" you to take naps, eat healthy or go to the doctor. Having worked in a school board system for several years this seems unprofessional at best and actually concerning at worst.

    Rather than trying to suppress or delay your little response I would be suggesting you set firm boundaries, remind them they are your teacher and put an end to behaviour that a teaching professional should not be engaging in with their students.

    Little kaiya



    #4 Little-Big-Princess01

    Little-Big-Princess01

      Newbie

    • Members
    • Pip
    • 5 posts

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 02:55 PM

    She's also my in school counsellor and supposed to look after me more, it's sort of like an IEP but for emotions and general wellbeing. Definitely not concerning but actually endorsed by our school's district.

    Thank you for the tip, though it may be a bit difficult since I'm very shy and don't like 'bothering' people (even if it's not really bothering i feel like it is).

    #5 Little kaiya

    Little kaiya

      Daddy Wolf's little pink champagne fox

    • Members
    • PipPipPip
    • 557 posts
    • LocationCanada

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 03:06 PM

    I guess school districts in different countries can be very different. It just seems odd that a school would institute or endorse a program that promotes dependence in young adults for very basic life skills versus helping them become strong, self sufficient adults.

    That said, I am much older than you so maybe school curriculums have changed and encourage young adults to be more dependent versus independent. Either way, if your "emotional IEP" is encouraging the formation of a bond that crosses boundaries like what you described I would recommend asking for another counselor. At the end of the day your counselor is NOT your DDlg caregiver and if that line is being blurred I suggest taking steps to stop the situation.

    Even if what you describe is a school endorsed program I highly doubt the school or counselor would be comfortable if they new it was inciting DDlg feelings and emotions towards your counselor.

    Little kaiya
    • MysticSand and Batty like this
    Little kaiya 💖🦊💖

    #6 Daddy-Tom

    Daddy-Tom

      Advanced Member

    • Members
    • PipPipPip
    • 444 posts
    • LocationNorthwest CT

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 04:59 PM

    School systems most certainly do not and should not encourage this behavior, it is quite unprofessional. Having said that, I must question whether you are reporting what's happening accurately. It wouldn't be inappropriate for an advisor to *recommend* naps, doctor visits, and eating healthy, and *ask* if you are doing these things out of concern for your well-being, particularly if you seem tired, sick, or hungry in school. But "forcing" you? What does this mean exactly?
    • mermaid.glitter, Batty and Little-Big-Princess01 like this

    #7 Batty

    Batty

      Fruit tato

    • Members
    • PipPipPip
    • 89 posts

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 05:51 PM

    I have heard teachers encouraging kids to change their health, eat more and nap because they were visibly struggling, or were always tired. Some of them even said 'God you're so stubborn, mouthy, sick, I feel like I'm talking to my child... what you are doing isn't healthy for you for xyz reasons'. Or some telling students to value themselves more if they were clearly in a bad relationship. But none of them treated the students as though they were a little kid.

    Is it possible you are projecting your need for a CG onto your counselor? If that isn't the case it seems like a breach in the legal barriers of student/teacher relationship and should be reported.

    #8 Little-Big-Princess01

    Little-Big-Princess01

      Newbie

    • Members
    • Pip
    • 5 posts

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 08:43 PM

    School systems most certainly do not and should not encourage this behavior, it is quite unprofessional. Having said that, I must question whether you are reporting what's happening accurately. It wouldn't be inappropriate for an advisor to *recommend* naps, doctor visits, and eating healthy, and *ask* if you are doing these things out of concern for your well-being, particularly if you seem tired, sick, or hungry in school. But "forcing" you? What does this mean exactly?


    She is also my english teacher so I see her every day, usually before 12 pm. If I look particularly tired or like I'm struggling with focussing she will pull me aside and if the reason is me being tired then she sends me to our school's "bedroom" (a mattress on the floor with a blanket and pillows) for the rest of her period to try and nap (I cannot choose to stay in class, I have to go to the bedroom). If I am asleep at the end she writes a pass so I validly miss my other classes. A quick note on this topic, I used to be very ill and needed about 22 hours of sleep, and still tire quickly so that may have something to do with this as well.

    She has threatened to call my gp if I didn't when I felt ill or hurt for 3 or more days in a row, but has never followed through because I did call them myself.

    For eating, she has made me promise to eat breakfast and had me check in with her about that, if I didn't bring a lunch or bought something from the vending machine (crisps/popcorn) she would buy me fruit or sandwiches from the canteen (if she saw what I was eatingz this was not as regular an occurrence as i make it seem, maybe 4 or 5 times a month). Same with buying me water etc so I would have something to drink.

    These are all the examples I can think of right now from the last two years. I would like to reiterate that while this may seem like grooming or other inappropriate behaviour I am certain she only tries to help and does not mean to activate my little or is even consciously aware of everything she is doing. I will point it out to her after summer break.

    Also, my parents are aware and so are other teachers of what she does to or for me and all agree nothing malicious or illegal is going on.

    Edited by Little-Big-Princess01, 17 July 2019 - 08:56 PM.


    #9 Little-Big-Princess01

    Little-Big-Princess01

      Newbie

    • Members
    • Pip
    • 5 posts

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 08:55 PM

    I have heard teachers encouraging kids to change their health, eat more and nap because they were visibly struggling, or were always tired. Some of them even said 'God you're so stubborn, mouthy, sick, I feel like I'm talking to my child... what you are doing isn't healthy for you for xyz reasons'. Or some telling students to value themselves more if they were clearly in a bad relationship. But none of them treated the students as though they were a little kid.

    Is it possible you are projecting your need for a CG onto your counselor? If that isn't the case it seems like a breach in the legal barriers of student/teacher relationship and should be reported.


    That is a very real possibility, but I am not sure how I would check that. Since I am not exactly open about me being little and thus can't ask people closer to me, and who have seen our interactions with their own eyes and not just through my viewpoint.

    I would like to add though that I am on the spectrum (aspergers) so that may also affect how I view situations and emotions and could therefore reflect my actions in a different light than how a 'normal' person would react.

    As mentioned before this is something others are aware and approve of, and other teachers have also made similar remarks or offers but not as steadfastly as my counsellor, nor as frequently. Which makes sense given that my counsellor is obligated to look after me more than a normal teacher.

    My entire school district is all about 'focussing on the student' and higher risk children (anyone with a counsellor) get more attention and care than perhaps considered normal elsewhere. I am not the only one treated this way (though perhaps a tad more personal because of my little slipping out and them picking up on that, even if they don't know what it actually means, making them think I need more help and guidance).

    #10 Daddy-Tom

    Daddy-Tom

      Advanced Member

    • Members
    • PipPipPip
    • 444 posts
    • LocationNorthwest CT

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 09:05 PM

    Although it's well-intentioned and kind, buying food for you is definitely favoritism and I suspect if it was well-known you would have problems with other students, parents...

    #11 Little kaiya

    Little kaiya

      Daddy Wolf's little pink champagne fox

    • Members
    • PipPipPip
    • 557 posts
    • LocationCanada

    Posted 17 July 2019 - 09:15 PM

    It still seems problematic honestly. Your teacher is writing you passes so you miss classwork and threatening to call your doctor. That doesn't sound like care, that sounds like setting you up for failure and way too personal for what a teacher should be doing with a student. They aren't your parent and well intentioned or not it appears to cross the line from teacher/counselor to parent. If you were in grade school . . . . Maybe. High school it just sounds way past "focusing on the student" into unprofessional and wrong, sorry.

    Little kaiya
    • MysticSand likes this
    Little kaiya 💖🦊💖

    #12 PrincessVanellope

    PrincessVanellope

      Advanced Member

    • Members
    • PipPipPip
    • 37 posts
    • LocationMassachusetts

    Posted 18 July 2019 - 12:16 PM

    There was a lot to unpack here. 

     Your teacher is MOST DEFINITELY crossing her boundaries. As a parent, if my child told me what I just read...there are no words to describe how pissed I would be. I have had teachers ask me if I'm okay if I look or have been feeling unwell. But threaten to call my doctor? Hell no. I am assuming, since you're in high school, you're under legal age. If anyone was going to call your doctor, it would be a parent or caregiver, foster parent, whatever, not her, and if she was going to contact anyone, it would be one of those people, not your doctor. This whole situation is fishy and creepy and not right. She's overstepping and you need to set some boundaries and tell her shes making you uncomfortable. If she continues ( no way at all is her behavior or actions condoned, i'm sorry.), you need to report this.



    #13 Guest_Christian324_*

    Guest_Christian324_*
    • Guests

    Posted 18 July 2019 - 12:24 PM

    You know, your teacher probably knows nothing about what is happening in your arena, she may figure your parents aren't looking after you so she is trying to help you. The nap thing seems odd but if she sees you sleepy at school she may think you need it. I'd advise you speak to a counselor at school if you feel comfortable and see what can work best for all involved with no professional roles and interpersonal relationship boundaries get crossed.





    Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: school, hiding ddlg

    0 user(s) are reading this topic

    0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users