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Advice Needed ~ Dealing with Executive Dysfunction


jelloprincess

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Hi all! I'm an autistic adult (23f) living alone. Recently I've been having major struggles with executive dysfunction, especially initiating tasks. It's something I've always struggled with but I've been having a harder time recently, as I've been in a depressive episode since my grandfather passed away. The last time I went through an episode like this I had a friend who was basically living with me help by kicking my butt a little bit when I needed to start something important. She basically acted like a Mommy, even though she wasn't. This is the first time I've dealt with this kind of episode alone and I'm having a really hard time taking care of myself (taking my meds properly, doing laundry & dishes, keeping my apartment tidy, etc). I don't have a CG, and the friend that helped me before is not available. I've tried making lists, I have a reward chart, I've used reminder apps, etc., but they haven't helped. The only thing that's helped me is having another person setting rules for me and/or helping me start tasks I'm having a hard time with.

 

If anyone else has dealt with executive dysfunction, esp. in autism and/or depression, can you give advice on what helps you get your daily tasks done? Preferably things that can be done alone/without another person's support, because I unfortunately don't have that right now. :/

 

Thanks! xx

Edited by jelloprincess
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I have problems with this too. I find that it's easiest for me to put on some music and start doing little things at first and then working my way up. Get a momentum going, get in the right headspace and just keep going. Take breaks every so often and come back.

 

It's hard, I know, but you can do it.

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This can sometimes be a problem for me, but I'm worried I will have more of a problem when I'm actually living on my own... I generally need my mom's help cleaning my room for example, and by "help" I mean sit on my bed and direct me while I wonder what papers on the floor should be thrown out and which need to be put away. And when my parents went on vacation this spring, I had trouble making food for myself once I had eaten all the leftovers I could reheat. I'd wait until I was hungry and then think about dinner.

 

I will be going to a new job soon away from home, but will live in staff housing (it's at a camp) and can eat at the dining hall so I don't have to worry about food, but I bought a nice planner the other day. It has spaces to write day activities and to-do lists for the week, including to-call, to-email, and to-buy lists. I hope it helps me keep track of important things.

 

Unlike Tiger Striperino, music definitely doesn't help me. I LOVE music, but it's too distracting for me and makes it harder to think about what I need to do. I need silence and space to talk to myself and encourage myself to operate. If silence is impossible (i.e. some neighbor mowing their lawn loudly) I use a noise generator website called mynoise.net and pick something like thunderstorm or canyon flute to block out the distracting stuff.

 

is it possible to ask a neighbor to check on you every once in a while? Just to make sure you're taking out the trash, not living in a clutter heap, etc?

 

You could also try to turn your chores into a game.

 

Actually I highly recommend checking out mynoise.net https://mynoise.net/noiseMachines.php This is the direct link to the sound I'm listening to now: https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/aeolianDroneGenerator.php With autism, it can be hard to focus and for me at least, there are a lot of "bad" sounds (vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers, loud cars, air conditioner) that use up my energy.

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Another thing that helped is joining a Kon Marie group on Facebook. I listen to that book about 2x's a year. Any cleaning group may help, but the one I joined is tiny and makes me feel comfortable. It is great because people post what they are doing or struggling with and usually someone is doing the same task as you. Then you automatically have a buddy, they are all supportive and some ask for after pics and give before pics (making you accountable for cleaning and cheering you on). They help a ton! People have even asked where to start or tell them what stuffs they can't make a decision on doing. Most, if not all the post get a response making suggestions on where or how to start.
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  • 3 weeks later...

executive dysfunction is my biggest enemy tbh.  i find it nearly impossible to deal with on my own, and have come to terms with the fact that i'll probably never live by myself.  you might also want to look into autistic inertia (i think that's what it's called?) i'm not sure how much of a difference there is between the two things.  i know they're related, but i see a lot more about executive dysfunction on general neurodivergent spaces, so there may be specifics with autistic inertia or ways of dealing with it that are more helpful for you as someone who's autistic.

 

the thing that's helped me the most with it lately has been having my bestie (we only know each other online) say that she has a story to tell me, but i have to do a thing (like eat or do some dishes or get laundry started) before she shares.  nothing has ever lit the fire under my butt faster!  it's just so nice to be able to do something knowing you get quality friend time after.

 

lately in therapy when i get really stuck, my therapist has me play a little game where i point out so many things around the room that are a certain shape or color.  it gets me out of my head and moving my body around, which helps a lot.  we've talked about ways to implement this at home, but so far it hasn't happened.

 

listening to audiobooks or podcasts sometimes help me too. tho other times, putting one on just means i'll be playing games on my computer for hours without noticing.  getting to listen to a story or learn things seems to help make tasks less boring.  now if only i can find ways to get myself to shower and write.... 

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oh! i also meant to say that someone wrote this thread on twitter today that has some really great questions to help think through procrastination and executive dysfunction a bit more.  i have found it helpful sometimes to really break things down like these questions do, but i have a hard time remembering to do it or reliably coming up with things that help me with the task.

 

and then there's the fact that executive dysfunction affects a LOT more than just not being able to start things, which was big news to me when i found that out.  this tumblr post goes into it a bit.  i've reblogged a lot of executive dysfunction stuff on my tumblr, but it's under like... 4 different tags because what is organization? 

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  • 1 month later...

Doing a little bit of profile stalking and I saw this. I left a comment on your profile explaining my sister with EDS but this time it's my turn. So I suffer from a load of things but the broad term is Neruocognitive Disorder. This effects a lot of things with my brain and one of which is my drive and memory. I've forgotten how to do a lot of things in my life because of this. When to take care of myself, when to bathe, eat, etc. It's been hard living and I'm 28 years old now. I've lived with it for all of my life. Now I get Social Security Income so money isn't a immediate issue but I am currently looking for work because frankly it's not enough. I know I'll loose some if not all of it when I start working. Even so I must. So with my little background said, let me talk about how it helps me.

First off, I go to a support group. I know we are both in Michigan and if you're in Lansing like I am, I can suggest the one I frequent. If not, I can help you find one local to you.Talking with people about your problems really helps and they often give more detailed solutions than people on here. They live in the same city, experience the same weather, deal with the same people (roughly) so they know where you're coming from. But if that's not a option, I'd find a person. Even if it's a new friend, I'd find them and ask them to help remind you. Some people just need that extra push and that's OK. I had a ex who would help push me and it made me discover more things I can do for myself while I'm alone in life. But I think the biggest thing for me was to move to Lansing. I used to live in Eaton Rapids which is a small town south of Lansing. I don't have reliable transport currently but here in Lansing, I can travel everywhere by foot or bus. It's a environment that's suited for me greatly. But yea.

Also just a side note, I know you suffer from EDS and so does my sister. Lansing is a good place to be for that. There are a lot of doctors here who are more top notch for EDS compared to other places in Michigan. 

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Guest Sweetbottoms

I just have ADD the low energy one. Everyday is a war because I didn't want to do anything at all. Or I'm constantly distracted or I forget something or I forget everything planners of tried alarms on my phone I've tried it written on a piece of paper I've tried it written on the whiteboard I tried it I think I've tried everything nothing. Now adderal is starting to fail me

Sigh...

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Guest Sweetbottoms

Hang on I just realized that usually there are services for people on the spectrum no matter what age you are. are you in the United States because depending on what state you are in you are qualified for services and assistance of daily living activities or daily living skills. There are options out there with social services I believe that you qualify for or you might qualify for you should check that out those are good resources. My daughter is on the spectrum she's five years old so I learned over the years a few things about services and assistance they have programs out there see if you can the assisted.

 

I hope things get better

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