Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) ****EDIT**** The below message I wrote was a lie. I am not completely monogamous with my (ex) Daddy. I am also married. And my exDD did not have sex with anyone else while I was his little. He is NOT poly, but fuck “titles”. He is extremely loyal when he is in a monogamous relationship. He had a bad breakup a while ago and just needs some time to heal... THAT is why he doesn’t want a committed relationship. However, he still chose to go into a committed DDlg relationship with me, despite the above. He honestly treated me so goddamn well and I was manipulative, lied to him, hid things from him, and disrespected him over and over. I basically came here for attention and to get validation even though I have dragged him through hell. I made him out to be the bad guy... The only bad guy in this story is me. He was the perfect Daddy and I’m such a fool for fucking it up. ******* My Daddy and I have a unique relationship in that it is completely monogamous on my side but not on his (he sleeps with other women but is not in a romantic relationship with anyone but me). To him, this dynamic is temporary and fun. However, I have fallen in love with him and hope that one day that he will change his mind and want to date me exclusively. But he has been very honest with me from the beginning about his intentions and has told me that he will *never* date me. I'm sitting here crying as he is reminding me and telling me that he is concerned that it has now become unfair to me because I want a permanent relationship with him when he has made it clear that he will never want that with me. He has changed his mind about me so many times.... Like he said he would never be in a committed relationship with me, but now that time has passed we are in a committed DDlg relationship. So, I guess I just keep hoping that one day he will love me back. I don't even know why I'm posting this on here. I guess I just want people who understand to be there for me. He's seriously the best guy I've ever met, he's my best friend, he's so damn incredible and we are a perfect match.... at least from my side. I'd give anything to be his wife. But now I just have to continue to accept that he doesn't feel the same and I will live the rest of my life as a little without her Daddy.... He's my other half. And I'm so empty without him. My heart is shattered. Edited February 3, 2020 by Alittlejigsaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest frozenwolf Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 *offers hugs* I'm so sowwe you feel like that. It's kinda not fair to you I agree but I know how you feel being monogamous with my Momma. You have to choose either you stay with your daddy and hope it gets better or you look fr a daddy that wants just you. Either way it's gonna be tough and you have a lot of people here more then willing to support you when you get the sads. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LittleMissMissy Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 That is a tricky situation. It's hard to be in a relationship when one is monogamous and the other is not. It will always weigh heavy on you. Unfortunately, you have to decide what is best for you. Can you settle for just what he offers and be happy, or will you need to fill that void with something you want and deserve? It's something only you can decide, but know that people are always here to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 Thank you guys for the support. I’m so heartbroken. I want my Daddy to only want me but that clearly won’t ever happen. I just wish I was good enough for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LittleMissMissy Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 I have been there before. It's hard for me to talk about it, but I was involved with a married man. It was great and I had all the same feelings. I even knew he wouldn't leave her for me. He might have said it, but it was never gonna happen. It was just the never ending cycle of me loving him and him just involved. I was put into a very similar situation, so I can truly relate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest frozenwolf Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 I call bs with you saying your not good enough. You are better then that and you deserve to be happy too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 How do I get over it and move on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 And now he is saying that we have never been friends.... meaning he thought we were friends but we never were because I feel like I can’t remain in his life after he breaks up with me. I tried to explain that my need to survive the breakup has no bearing on how much I care about him and love him. I just can’t handle seeing him live his life happy without me until I’ve fully healed from this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LittleBunBun<3 Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 Usually, I'm not so direct, but I feel like this requires a straight forward answer. Hun, you are good enough. Don't you worry a bit about that. But, he made it clear from the beginning he wasn't looking for more from you. I think it's best to step out before your feelings develop even more for him. You deserve to be happy. If you are looking for commitment, look for someone else that wants it too. From the sound of it, I don't think he will settle down. And, if he does choose to settle down and it isn't with you, you will be even more heart broken knowing about that... I know it's hard, but be strong and find what you're looking for. Don't stay waiting for something that, more likely than not, won't happen... Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LittleBunBun<3 Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 How do I get over it and move on? The way to move on is a hard road. A long, hard, twisted road. You have to walk down it one step at a time. Take time for self care. Spend lots of time with other people that you are close to. Look for some new friends, too. Do things that make you happy. An exercise I like to do is this: When something is on my mind and I need to take it off, I like to write it on a piece of paper and destroy it. You can destroy it however you want. After this, do something that you enjoy that distracts you. Take a bubble bath, have a dance party, watch a cartoon, play with your stuffies, read a book, etc. For me, the best activities are ones that force me to think about something else. I like to write, read, study, sing songs, etc. Try to come to the point that you feel you don't need a Dom to be a happy little. There are plenty of wonderful doms out there. You will find one that gives you so many butterflies in your tummy that you can't contain them. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LittleMissMissy Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 Well that's a good and hard question. The best way to answer it is like littlebunbun said, you will have to remove yourself from the situation. It is what I had to do myself. Then you work on yourself to heal. First and foremost you have to believe you are good enough. It's him who isn't good. Don't take the blame you don't deserve. Then you find good friends and good company to talk to to help along the way. Communicating really helped me. Being able to express myself and get my feelings off my chest helped. I am here if you would like a friend. Feel free to add me and I will do my best to help Xoxoxoxox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 I’m so committed to him. I’m his completely. So though I understand and agree that I should find someone just as committed to me.... I can’t. I don’t even want to. I just want to be a piece of furniture in his life if that means I can be a part of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LearningDaddy Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 Simply judging by how you talk about him and the commitment you have to him, despite his actions, you're clearly a very good person at heart.Sadly, this situation isn't healthy for you and looks like it will, ultimately, leave you unhappier.. I happen to agree with everyone else - it's probably for the best that you take yourself away from all of this and work on yourself..Wishing the best~ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 Thank you all for the support. It is such a tough situation I have put myself in, but even though it hurts like hell... I don't regret a single second of loving this man. He's absolutely incredible. Whoever gets lucky enough to be his wife will have to be someone truly amazing. I just wish I was the other half to him.... Like he is the other half to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
APTX Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 I’m so committed to him. I’m his completely. So though I understand and agree that I should find someone just as committed to me.... I can’t. I don’t even want to. I just want to be a piece of furniture in his life if that means I can be a part of it. I have a feeling you have no idea what you're talking about, otherwise if this is truly the case, then accept your situation, and just be that other woman, "thing", in his life, whether you come at second, third, or even at the bottom of his list. I'm just saying this actually to make you realize how ridiculous you sound, and quite frankly I doubt you even truly mean it, your mind and heart are simply in a confused state. Perhaps you need a wake up call, because apparently he may already have noticed this getting out of hand and you being in a very emotional state. You clearly can't accept him and the relationship you once knowingly entered with him, and have had agreed on. You fell in love, and wanted more, which is not a crime, but something he could never have given you, he wasn't exclusively available to you, and he made that very clear to you. It's only natural he would want to completely break off any contact, for his and YOUR sake - he knows he can't be in your life, not even as a friend, this won't do any of you any good. You seem to have realized your situation, but now you have to come terms with it and accept it. Being hopeful is only going to cause you more pain, whether it is in a relationship or friendship when you have feelings for someone even though it's perfectly clear and stated they don't want anything more. Regardless best of luck to you, people can give advice, but ultimately you make your own decisions and carve your own path. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 I have a feeling you have no idea what you're talking about, otherwise if this is truly the case, then accept your situation, and just be that other woman, "thing", in his life, whether you come at second, third, or even at the bottom of his list. I'm just saying this actually to make you realize how ridiculous you sound, and quite frankly I doubt you even truly mean it, your mind and heart are simply in a confused state. Perhaps you need a wake up call, because apparently he may already have noticed this getting out of hand and you being in a very emotional state. You clearly can't accept him and the relationship you once knowingly entered with him, and have had agreed on. You fell in love, and wanted more, which is not a crime, but something he could never have given you, he wasn't exclusively available to you, and he made that very clear to you. It's only natural he would want to completely break off any contact, for his and YOUR sake - he knows he can't be in your life, not even as a friend, this won't do any of you any good. You seem to have realized your situation, but now you have to come terms with it and accept it. Being hopeful is only going to cause you more pain, whether it is in a relationship or friendship when you have feelings for someone even though it's perfectly clear and stated they don't want anything more. Regardless best of luck to you, people can give advice, but ultimately you make your own decisions and carve your own path. You are partially correct. I honestly go back and forth on this all the time. Because I struggle with being in love with him while also wanting to remain a part of his life. The challenge is that I didn't expect the pain of having to share him and not have that commitment to be as intense as it is. And most of the time I can accept things as they are. However, I just flew back from his house yesterday after being with him a week... so my love and emotions high at the moment while his are the reverse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 The way to move on is a hard road. A long, hard, twisted road. You have to walk down it one step at a time. Take time for self care. Spend lots of time with other people that you are close to. Look for some new friends, too. Do things that make you happy. An exercise I like to do is this: When something is on my mind and I need to take it off, I like to write it on a piece of paper and destroy it. You can destroy it however you want. After this, do something that you enjoy that distracts you. Take a bubble bath, have a dance party, watch a cartoon, play with your stuffies, read a book, etc. For me, the best activities are ones that force me to think about something else. I like to write, read, study, sing songs, etc. Try to come to the point that you feel you don't need a Dom to be a happy little. There are plenty of wonderful doms out there. You will find one that gives you so many butterflies in your tummy that you can't contain them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redheadprincess98 Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 You are enough and he isn’t the best man you, in your infatuated state, think he is. He is just a womanizer and he was very clear from the beginning he only wanted to have fun with you and others. At least he was very clear about that. Remember this: you are always enough, you are a beautiful, brilliant person with a bright future, and also: true love isn’t supposed to hurt so much. The day you find true love, it won’t hurt you, it will be right, and safe and it will make you happy and not miserable. Give yourself time, cry, break things, be sad, you’ll feel better eventually. Also, people don’t change, just as you wouldn’t change your monogamous preference, he wouldn’t change his poly preference. It’s just the way it is. Lots of hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted January 17, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 You are enough and he isn’t the best man you, in your infatuated state, think he is. He is just a womanizer and he was very clear from the beginning he only wanted to have fun with you and others. At least he was very clear about that. Remember this: you are always enough, you are a beautiful, brilliant person with a bright future, and also: true love isn’t supposed to hurt so much. The day you find true love, it won’t hurt you, it will be right, and safe and it will make you happy and not miserable. Give yourself time, cry, break things, be sad, you’ll feel better eventually. Also, people don’t change, just as you wouldn’t change your monogamous preference, he wouldn’t change his poly preference. It’s just the way it is. Lots of hugs </3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minty☆ Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadelynVictoria Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 He was honest with you as to what he wanted from the beginning, but this doesn't make the situation any less shitty for you. I know you love him and want to remain in his life, but he will never give you what you want, and that's not fair to you. You need someone who can give you the dynamic you want and need. You're only going to hurt yourself more if you stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popcornbaby Posted January 17, 2020 Report Share Posted January 17, 2020 I am so sorry beautiful. You can't be with someone who isn't emotionally available. He is seeming to be messing you around right now, honestly. You and your heart are very precious, please take care of it. You deserve someone who would give anything to have your heart, and would give you theirs with no hesitation. Stay strong, but if you truly believe you have a future with him, and that he cares about you more than he verbally says he does, then i suggest to go into no contact with him. Giving him your absence will hopefully worry him, this will push him to changing his ways, seeing you as the stronger one, the one who could be independent, which he probably thought you couldn't be. Focus on yourself, and go do fun things with friends for a while. You have done enough now, give him the chance to do the work. You will be okay, just take care of yourself, and whatever action he chooses to make, is what is needed to be done in order for your future to be how it should be. <3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittemptress Posted February 2, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2020 (edited) . Edited February 3, 2020 by Alittlejigsaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetdaddy2928 Posted February 8, 2020 Report Share Posted February 8, 2020 How can I private message you to talk to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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