How did you get through?

[freekittyx3]

I’m sure plenty of others have experienced this, please help? My daddy stopped making time for me, showed little concern and suddenly had any and every excuse for why he couldn’t spend time with me. It hurt so much, I decided it was unfair to me. We spoke about things but he always had an excuse. I decided it would be better to end things, at least for now so he could focus on work as he wished. He then deleted me off social media. I just feel totally abandoned by the one person I thought actually loved and cared for me. My question is, what helped you when you had to move on? I need something because the pain just won’t go away. I feel so lost!

[Vampiress]

I'm sorry you went through all of that, it's so rough. I've been there and I know many others here have. I think with a break-up like that it's the best time to take the opportunity to connect back with yourself while you heal and move on before jumping into something new with someone else. A lot of people act like being single sucks and it's the worst, but honestly, if you really take the time to indulge in the things you like and even discovering new things about yourself, finding new things to get into like fun hobbies, and working on yourself to be the best person you can be it can also be really fulfilling. It's easy to sit and be sorrowful and feel despair, but it takes strength of character to be able to pick yourself back up and move on to bigger, better things. Ultimately, your relationship with him will serve best as a lesson for the future. You know what you do and don't want, you learn what not to settle for or put up with, and maybe you picked up on some red flags that you'll know to watch out for in the future. If he isn't the one, then see it is as an experience where you were able to grow, learn, and become a stronger person. A stepping stone to the next thing that ultimately leads to where you're really meant to be and all the things you truly deserve. I wish you the best. Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need to heal, you deserve it and you deserve so much more than to be treated the way you were.

[freekittyx3]

Thank you, I truly appreciate your reply! It’s very helpful ☺️

[Guest Teasing Tink]

Well you should be proud of yourself for being strong enough to stand up for your own needs/wants. Does it mostly hurt that he just kind of ghosted on you (I'm not really sure how things played out but it sounded like that)? I've been ghosted before by someone who was really close and decided to break things off when my own needs weren't being met. It definitely hurts when someone does that. Finding new friends or leaning on your already existing social network (assuming you have one) like close friends and family is helpful as is using it as an opportunity to focus on developing new hobbies/interests more and really trying to determine what you want/don't want in a future relationship. Some people also just don't have the energy/desire to meet our needs so it gets interpreted as pressure or they might not feel good enough rather than them rising to the challenge. But there are people out there who are capable and wanting to fulfill our needs (a more compatible dynamic). Our experiences are valuable even when a relationship ends because it gives us more data for the future which was already mentioned. Another thing that helped me was journaling and giving myself full permission to feel my own feelings whether that be pain, grief, anger, bitterness -- you name it -- your feelings are valid. They come and go in waves once they're heard and understood. Listening to songs that "understand" the way you feel can also help you process your emotions.

Edited April 5, 2020 by Teasing Tink