tl;dr: How would you describe your thoughts while in little space?
So, I’m still really new to being a little, and have only been aware of getting into little space a handful of times. Since it’s a new experience, I’m still trying to understand how my mind works when I get into it (and along with that, what actually triggers it for me).
I think that part of what I’m trying to achieve is *relief from my constant anxiety* and *less self-consciousness in general*, so that’s kind of been my measurement of success. I can feel these things happening when I’m diapered up, or following Mommy’s orders, or being a brat and not following orders, or trying to watch/play something cute. Basically, these are the things that led me to discover MDlg and my little side, so they’re my jumping-off point.
BUT—the other day I had a really different little space experience, so I’m trying to understand how it all fits together! I definitely slipped into little space:
(a ) without wearing any of my little clothes/diapers/etc.,
(b ) completely outside of an initiated BDSM scene/deliberate MDlg day—it was a regular ol’ day and I was lying down on my bed while Mommy was cleaning our room,
(c ) while listening to calm-but-definitely-heady-and-NOT-cute repetitive techno, which is an adult-me interest I didn’t expect to have any part in my little space *at all*, and
(d ) experiencing blank-thoughts, kind of akin to what people describe as the thought-lessness achieved by some meditations.
I just felt really calm, and little, and serene, and content for that time. Very different from the more active, bratty, and deliberate little behaviors I’m used to engaging in!
This whole thing’s got me realizing a few things w/r/t my thoughts, experiences, triggers, and goals with little space:
- I’m surprised my thoughts were blank during this experience—I guess I expected little space to have a more conscious or self-aware change in thoughts? Like, more along the lines of getting into a character’s headspace and performing as them?
- Beyond the subtractive experience of feeling less anxiety and less self-consciousness, I’m realizing that little space has the additive experience of affirmatively feeling little. It feels obvious to say that out loud, but I think I’ve been overlooking this aspect of being a little because…
- …up till this point, I think I’ve been substituting that affirmatively feeling little experience with simply acting little—being a brat, wearing certain clothes, etc. This has got me paying more attention to what it means to think as a little, and while I can sort of grasp the performative aspects of being little inside a BDSM scene, I’m not used to experiencing being little in more everyday life situations.
- I think I just have no idea what my little space triggers *actually* are. And I know it takes a long time and trial and error to figure it out, but seriously—really loopy and kinda intense concept techno albums about submarines/isolation/claustrophobia? I really thought would snap me out of little space, not into it.
So, this has got me curious—for other littles, how do you mentally experience little-ness?
- How do you notice your thought processes change?
- Do you feel like you have more control over your thoughts, or less control, or that your thoughts are sometimes just blank, or something else entirely?
- Are your thought processes different when you deliberately enter little space versus accidentally?
- Do different items/music/movies/scenery/triggers in general send you into different kinds of little spaces?
Sorry if this is a convoluted topic/post, it’s been really hard trying to articulate this! Would love to discuss experiences with other littles though!
Edited by GayKitten, 07 September 2020 - 05:34 PM.