I'm very new to this community so please forgive my newbie-ness >.< I've recently gone through a major upheaval in my life. A five year relationship has ended (not on my terms), I've got to move back in with a parent and start all over again. I've felt lost and had to rediscover who I am. Thinking about my needs in my past relationship, I've come to realize I may be a middle. I do possess some little qualities; a tendency to get emotionally overwhelmed, a need of structure and direction in my life, and overall feeling like I wanted my partner to take care of me. While this doesn't really touch on what my feelings are deeply, I have found that my emotional needs line up almost exactly as other littles. I don't really identify with little activities like using a paci or diaper, and I'm much more into a middle headspace. I enjoy cartoons made for teens and find myself lapsing into the mentality of being in high school. I never really had a fun time going through my teen years. I think I revert to that headspace of a bratty teen who really just needs a hug because that's all I really wanted to be treated like.
I'd love to meet other middles or older littles in the community that could help me on my journey of self discovery. Since I'm dealing with the loss of a partner and being on my own for the first time in years, I couldn't see myself getting into another relationship for a long time. I feel like I need to know what I need before going to someone else. That being said, having to be on my own and take care of myself has been so difficult. I struggle everyday with my emotions. Not having someone at home to hold me or no reassuring voice has been the hardest to deal with. I was wondering how other littles deal with being on their own especially after the loss of a caretaker.
Thank you for taking the time to read my long-winded intro. I hope it wasn't too boring or sad I am excited to join the community and learn from you and I hope was can be friends!