Dom but Vanilla how?

[lilvioletcub]

This is a question that has been bothering me for about two years now. How can someone Be Domanint in relationships but still say they are Vanilla? better yet how can someone so passionatly hate Male Doms but still be for female Doms and be Vanilla?

 

This question just bothers me so I thought the nice foalks here could awnser it

[Daddy'sLittlestKitten]

They might consider themselves vanilla because they aren't interested in BDSM.

[PeaSprout]

It sounds like they may not understand what it means to be a dom and have no - little knowledge of the community and the roles that one can take on. I think there is a lot of stigma about being classified in the BDSM community. Many people view it as a bad thing, so naturally have an inclination to reject it. Also in terms of not liking male doms, maybe the individual feels/thinks males who are doms are abusive. Again, just lack of knowledge about the roles. But generally if they reject the community it is difficult to educate them and change their perception.

[OhioDaddy76]

I'm with Pea. I think it sounds like the individual(s) in question are bringing a bunch of bias to the discussion, and I would guess that no common ground has been established to define what terms mean. Without understanding what "dominant" means, you can hardly compare apples to apples. I define that as being in a position of authority or leadership in a relationship, but I absolutely don't subscribe to ideas of physical harm/punishment as part of my dominant characteristics. If you imagined a Dom as someone in all leather with riding crops and paddles, we wouldn't be talking the same language if I told you I was dominant.

 

I'm always concerned about motivation when talking to people about sensitive subjects. Too many trolls, or people who don't want to listen/learn, in this world. That's just wasted time and energy.

[lilvioletcub]

I'm with Pea. I think it sounds like the individual(s) in question are bringing a bunch of bias to the discussion, and I would guess that no common ground has been established to define what terms mean. Without understanding what "dominant" means, you can hardly compare apples to apples. I define that as being in a position of authority or leadership in a relationship, but I absolutely don't subscribe to ideas of physical harm/punishment as part of my dominant characteristics. If you imagined a Dom as someone in all leather with riding crops and paddles, we wouldn't be talking the same language if I told you I was dominant.

 

I'm always concerned about motivation when talking to people about sensitive subjects. Too many trolls, or people who don't want to listen/learn, in this world. That's just wasted time and energy.

 

Thank you and agreed she has a very "seme" "uke" view on D/s and considers Doms "manly, matcho men" while submissives are "fragial, vunerable, skinny, and innocent" her views can be seen here: http://sexandmoaning.tumblr.com/post/131518419097/noi-just-wanted-to-show-you-how-disgusting-some

and my post replying to things she said about/to me here: http://lilvioletsmedow.tumblr.com/post/131784209711/valid-questions-but-you-wont-like-my-replies

 

her accounts can be seen here

http://ukehiclover.tumblr.com/

http://maryhofferson-astridsue.tumblr.com/

http://ink361.com/app/users/ig-1339501159/hiccup_forever_uke/photos

http://hic-cup-cake.tumblr.com/

 

She always confused me with her stance on D/s and her hate of DD/lg but possible love of DM/lb