Jump to content
DDlg Forum & Community Spring is Here !

General Advice for New Daddies


Guest Miko

Recommended Posts

Hey guys,

 

I don't know if this thread is still active but I'll give it a whirl. I'm brand new to this, only discovering it a few days ago. So far I've met some really lovely people online who've given me some great advice. I'd over to find a little but at the same time I don't want to rush into things and totally make a mess of things. Any advice for a new DD, does and don't etc?

 

All advice is welcome so fire away folks I can't wait to hear from you all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest FolarinMask

hii!! i am a little and the hardest thing for me is when my Daddy forgets to be consistent or doesn't follow through on His rules... it makes me feel like i can get away with being sneaky :p!!!  and i love when He teaches me and guides me... we looked up a bunch of stuff at the beginning and He used His research to make a list of rules for me.  He also has a good girl chart/calendar for me where i get stickers on really good days and X's on bad days.  at the end of each month He adds up the x's and stickers and if i get enough stickers i get a reward... this is my favorite thing and makes me try extra hard to be the best little!! -xx babysara24

 

This actually sounds like a really good idea for me, because I've just started being a CG and I've been trying to figure out how to handle the timing of the rewards. I don't want it to be spontaneous too much because I feel like that will diminish the importance of following rules and behaving simply because I've given them. So I think I will start giving this some serious consideration.

 

A question I did have is, what would be a reasonable place to start with rules and what would be overloading. Given that I'm still new to this dynamic, I am still getting to know my LG and while she and I have agreed that we want to implement rules ranging from daily to weekly, I don't know how much is too much. On top of this, we're long-distance, and that adds an extra layer of honor system-type stuff with the rules and expectations I give her. 

 

Does anyone have any experience or advice with this that they'd be willing to share?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

First thing I recommend is establishing what you both expect from the relationship. What do they expect from you, what do you expect from them? :)

Edited by KonekoSheila
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest trustlove

first know that mommy/baby relationship is a dynamic one as its core is FemDom relationship.......

give a name to the baby....a unique one which is for you both to know.

set rules,guidelines and make sure to implement them.

start with letting baby know there are punishments...

find out the limits of the baby and know your limits,,

find out the expectations you both have...

communicate and be receptive to listen ....

 

hope this helps and in case you need to know more please never hesitate to ask....if I can I will help you in possible ways I know. have a great time and build a beautiful relationship. Remember never take the other for granted and never let youself lose your priority.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Molding your little's character is important.Having good manners would make them more confident and make them more trustworthy.It will even help them make better decisions in the future.Here is a blog that I found online that mentioned some of these tips ( http://www.diamondpersonnel.com/family-blog/nanny-services/five-ways-you-and-your-nanny-can-help-build-your-childs-character/ ). The most important thing is to be patient and understanding with them,this will help them trust your judgments better.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey, i'm going to be honest before last week i didn't really know that ddlg existed, so i've never really explored it but recently my boyfriend has told me that he's a little and started explaining the majority on things to me, was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how to be a good daddy/care giver 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, my question is how to get past the experience Catch-22: Submissives want an experienced Dom, but you can't become experienced without being one.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey, i'm going to be honest before last week i didn't really know that ddlg existed, so i've never really explored it but recently my boyfriend has told me that he's a little and started explaining the majority on things to me, was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how to be a good daddy/care giver 

 

Though I am a little a majority of the time, I do switch whenever it is definitely needed. So in some cases my boyfriend is really struggling with something or is feeling extra antisocial so he pops right into little space. Everything you've heard still applies to all people whether gendered or not. However, don't rely mainly on posts and tumblr feeds for all your information (though there are some secrets in there of what most littles want lol Sometimes my daddy and I spend hours looking at those posts). The best thing to do is to sit down with your boyfriend and get to know that ddlg fascinated side of him. Ask him when he got into it and why, what makes him feel that he is a little and not a caregiver. Then take the next step when you're ready, start talking about what you two would like in your DDlg relationship: rules, activites, safe words, etc., Don't try to live up to what the mainstream of a DDlg relationship is, it is cut down to you and your boyfriend's relationship and what makes you two click. 

 

There are going to be issues, there are going to be time outs, there are going to be fights and fusses. Don't let that discourage you, don't neglect your little but don't allow yourself to be neglected. This is a partner relationship just as any other. Most importantly, if DDlg is truly something your boyfriend enjoys and feels apart of, do not treat it as if it were just a hobby to him. Whether you get uncomfortable or not, don't degrade or devalue it. Unfortunately it is an issue my daddy has sometimes and I want to make sure no daddy out there does it to their little. But keep in mind to let your little know when you are uncomfortable, because daddies need loving too!

 

If your boyfriend picks an age to attach to their little space, don't have literal expectations or comparisons. For example, my daddy had asked once why I would talk in little space if I'm only 3, because "three year olds can't talk that well". Some people do attach more physical attributes to their age, sometimes in the case of adding ABDL (adult baby/diaper lover) to the relationship and talk in "baby talk". However, generally most littles just connect the behavior and personality of their little space age with how they act in big space. Say your boyfriend is really sassy but cuddly, when in little space he is going to act like a sassy little boy who demands cuddles all the time. 

 

If your little is sad or upset, DO NOT get upset with them! Don't tell at your little ever. If you ever do and you scaring them off makes you feel like sh+t, don't get more upset if they don't rush to see if you're okay. That's neglect because you hurt them first but then don't allow them to be upset. Always be very gentle and comforting with your little, as it is often little space that people retreat to when they can't handle the burdens of their big-life at the moment. So if your boyfriend is very strong and resilient in big-space, don't just assume that he will be in little space. 

 

 

This is going to be a long process, and it won't always be cupcakes and rainbows, but it is SOOOOOO worth it when things are going smoothly. Trust me! Good luck you're going to be a great daddy!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That was my first self-taught lesson in DDlg's dom aspect. I had a friend who was a dominatrix so her experience was solely on being in leather, tying up men, and so on. So for a long time that was what I associated with dominating. After talking to her and a couple littles online, I realized that me being a dom isn't necessarily the kind of dom my friend was. 

 

I always had that "don't dom immediately" mentality anyway. I had a friend who was a little and she had this bad habit of not washing her face or brushing her teeth, even though she'd say she needed to. At first I would say something like, "you really need to" or "but you always say it's important..." One day, she was cuddled up in bed and said she hadn't done either. I got a bit annoyed, so I told her to go wash her face and brush her teeth. She said no. I said, do it now. She said no, I'm comfy. I said, "I didn't ask." She did it and thanked me afterwards. If she weren't a little I'm sure I would've gotten an earful. :)

 

I'm not an expert or an experienced daddy/dom but I think I did right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest countlieberkuhn

That was my first self-taught lesson in DDlg's dom aspect. I had a friend who was a dominatrix so her experience was solely on being in leather, tying up men, and so on. So for a long time that was what I associated with dominating. After talking to her and a couple littles online, I realized that me being a dom isn't necessarily the kind of dom my friend was. 

 

I always had that "don't dom immediately" mentality anyway. I had a friend who was a little and she had this bad habit of not washing her face or brushing her teeth, even though she'd say she needed to. At first I would say something like, "you really need to" or "but you always say it's important..." One day, she was cuddled up in bed and said she hadn't done either. I got a bit annoyed, so I told her to go wash her face and brush her teeth. She said no. I said, do it now. She said no, I'm comfy. I said, "I didn't ask." She did it and thanked me afterwards. If she weren't a little I'm sure I would've gotten an earful. :)

 

I'm not an expert or an experienced daddy/dom but I think I did right.

Not experienced here, but sounds like you did the right thing!  I have been in relationships with strong-willed girls before though and telling them to do anything would result in an earful :p

 

I'm generally not into telling girls what to do as I respect their ability to think for themselves, but some people benefit from a little push.  One thing I've come to appreciate since coming here is that the rules & punishments dynamic isn't so much about finding excuses to get some spanking on, but genuinely because it benefits the little in the relationship so that they can get more out of life.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not experienced here, but sounds like you did the right thing! I have been in relationships with strong-willed girls before though and telling them to do anything would result in an earful :p

 

Yeah, I haven't had the experience with being that bossy. I got the impression with her that she was trying to lead me into that direction. So I don't feel bad for being that bossy or direct since it felt like she was asking.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's good advice to do my homework as a new Daddy in training. Here's what I'm thinking of doing, since I'm new and want to be the best daddy I can be. As much as I hate to admit it, I need to make lists:

  • What I expect as a daddy - this is both in general and in relationships. I need to pin down what I expect to give as a daddy, such as structure, guidance, etc. I have to be honest as to what I'm willing to give.
  • What I expect from a little - this is more for me to decide what in a little I want, such as how (in)dependent do I want her to be, little/middle age that I'm comfortable with, sweet or bratty, how often does she want her little space, how clingy and affectionate, and so on. 
  • What I need to learn about DDlg - while no one knows everything, what parts have I realized I didn't know, and what do I need more homework on?
  • What I'm comfortable and not comfortable with - some littles are not sexual while others are very sexual; some littles will not be spanked while others will go as far as caning. I have to decide what I can or will do and what are my limits.

There are probably more lists I need to make, and I won't share these publicly. But this way I'll learn more about what I and a potential little need and want to be happy. I don't want to hurt a little's feelings because I wasn't sure what I was looking for. Part of me knows I want to make my little feel special so I have to have an idea already in my head.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Volkmane1985

Evening all,

 

I'm new to DDlg and was wondering how best to start.

 

Would it be better if both persons involved were New or that the little was experienced?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Isabelle

I'm new to this too although I've been a little all my life. I was thinking of finding a nonsexual mommy for a short period of time or even long term to help me learn and teach me fun makeup things and stuff. I want a sexual Daddy sometime but I was looking into maybe trying to find a Mommy for some 'training wheels'. ^_^ So I'm interested in responses here too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest plerte

Hei, good Night/Evening,

In my opinion there is no "right" way of having a DD/LG relationship, there are no rules except the ones you set up, you don't actively go into DD/LG, instead you find yourself in one either on purpose or by accident if you didn't know it before.
So no you do not need a experienced Daddy or Little, the first thing in such a relationship should be the love and the rest will come automatically by talking to one another. I've talked to many littles who thought that they had to hold up a standard as littles asking her Daddy if he would like them to use certain things and I always told them that the first thing they should be worried about is if they like it not if he does and then to tell him what they would like in such a relationship and find a common ground, not to just completly put themselves at his mercy, doing that would be more going into petplay and slave play. so no, you don't necessarily need training wheels or someone with experience, I think the opposite is the case, experiencing something with someone from the start on is a great experience.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Isabelle

By training wheels I meant someone to get my feet wet and try it out so I understand more of the Mommy/Daddy dynamic in a nonsexual way at first, I tend to need to experience something to fully understand it, so I know if it's really something I want to get involved with a sexual Daddy on. I don't want to get abused or taken advantage of, something which has happened most of my life, so I want to be careful.

 

*I didn't meant to "hijack" this post so I won't say anymore but I'd like to follow reading it for the info. Thanks Volkmane for starting it.*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Volkmane1985

Morning,

 

You're more than welcome to 'hijack' my thread Isabelle

 

Oddly enough one of my next questions was over whether people started within a DDlg relationship or they 'date' normally. Though I think I'd already figured out that the best way is to 'date' and then if all goes well turn on the DDlg part.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest countlieberkuhn

Morning,

 

You're more than welcome to 'hijack' my thread Isabelle

 

Oddly enough one of my next questions was over whether people started within a DDlg relationship or they 'date' normally. Though I think I'd already figured out that the best way is to 'date' and then if all goes well turn on the DDlg part.

I think that's the best way too, even if you meet someone on here.  At the end of the day, you want someone who you get on with as an adult as well as a little, otherwise there'll be issues and it'll all be a bit shallow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Isabelle

hmm I think that's a good thing, to get to know each as grown ups first, but for me, my little comes out no matter what. So at least to a degree I think it's a good idea to talk about how you want to be DD/lg but not actually start it. Cuz you have to set up rules and what everyone is comfortable with and what words you want to use, if you want a code, how often you do it, safewords if you are doing more painful things, and you need to be able to talk about all of that first and be comfy with your partner and know you can go through life with them being a mature reponsible adult. Someday you might decide you don't want to do it as much or anymore, but want to stay together vanilla. There will be times in life for funerals, deaths, health problems, and serious things that I think you need to really have a solid connection with 'normally' to get through and be supportive, not to mention when/if kids along. But I can't hold in my little all the time, she loves those messenger stickers and cutie things too much.

 

I thought about asking for an experienced mommy for a temporary time, nonsexual, to sort of see what its about and hopefully find a friend in a process once the time ends.

Edited by Isabelle
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm new to this too although I've been a little all my life. I was thinking of finding a nonsexual mommy for a short period of time or even long term to help me learn and teach me fun makeup things and stuff. I want a sexual Daddy sometime but I was looking into maybe trying to find a Mommy for some 'training wheels'. ^_^ So I'm interested in responses here too.

Age: 19

Little age (If applicable): 3-10

Name: Rose

Role: Mummy/Caregiver/little

Years Experience(If applicable): New

Location: Australia

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Looking for: Little girl (no sexual involvement)

--------------------------------------------

*Insert self description here. What are your interests? What are your hobbies? etc.*

 

Hi there lovelies, my names Rose.

I'm looking for a little girl to love, I am a Switch who has a boyfriend/caregiver. But I'm wanting to express my Mummy side too. If there's a little girl out there who just wants to be cared for, loved and looked after I'm the one for you. Because I am in a relationship I want a little who is not interested in any sexual involvement.

I'm an assistant acrobatics teacher, I love to dance. I'm a singer and play a little bit of piano and love to sing and write songs.

I like reading and anything arts and crafty.

I love photography and animals are my best friends. If you would like to know more or would like to talk to me please send me a message about yourself on here or on my kik LilRoseBaby97.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
new daddy here. Wife is new to little also. She is adapting to the little aspect,quickly. I'm liking the dom role. But I hesitate a little also. She has had a rough past, and I tread lightly as to not provoke bad memories, and cause her to close off. From what I read so far, I'm getting good information to help this journey become something we both will enjoy.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am completely new at the I want to learn more on how to be a daddy and also how would it work having a daddy little relationship that is long distance? I need help and advice.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...