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Scared!! Anyone have advice for a little?


Chocodoll

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So… I fell in love with one of my closest Internet friends and now we’re dating because they felt the same way. But they’re a csa survivor and very VERY against the ddlg/ cgl lifestyle. I want to keep practicing and exploring my little side, but idk how to without possibly upsetting them or even turning them away from me… we just started dating and I’m just afraid of ruining a good relationship.
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It may be an inherent incompatibility, so you'll need to discuss boundaries of what they're comfortable even hearing about. You exploring your little side on your own can totally happen, they do not have control to dictate your personal life. If you know/feel a need for a caregiver partner you will need to possibly discuss an ENM (ethically non-monogamous) relationship with them and if that's something you're both ok with. It can seem complicated and difficult to deal with but hopefully if you're both open and able to communicate you can figure something out.

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Hello, if they are that against it then i would recommend not pursuing that aspect of your relationship at all as it will only hurt them emotionally and will potentially cause them mental anguish. I agree that you may want to discuss your need to explore your little side and potentially have a partner to do that with. I am also a CSA and it took years for me to be comfortable with my littles and to be able to help them explore that side of themselves. I have come out the other side now and I love the DDLG dynamic. 

You need to be open and honest with your partner and if they are not comfortable with that then it will only cause anguish in your relationship, I would recommend having that difficult conversation sooner rather then later so that you know where your relationship stands as  it will not be fulfilling if that is something you need/desire and your partner cannot provide. It will only lead to animosity and hurt no matter how much you care for each other.  

I wish you the best and please feel free to reach out if you have any questions. 

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Guest Teasing Tink

Hm, that's a tough one. It wasn't clear from what you said if they're aware you're into this lifestyle or if you just know they're against it because of something they shared in passing. So if you haven't already discussed it, I think honesty is the best policy as it's best to put all your cards on the table before things develop any further. Maybe you can explain it in a way where they'll feel better about it. You never know.

 

But if you already had that discussion and it's not a deal breaker for them, then you have to decide if it's a deal breaker for you, since it's apart of who you are and something you enjoy. And if it's a deal breaker for either of you, hopefully you can still maintain the friendship. Either way though, if romance doesn't work out, I wouldn't view it as you "ruining" anything. Sometimes people just want different things or have different tolerance levels, and there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean either of you are doing anything wrong.

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I'd dump the relationship for the person. Though you will definitely miss it and have regrets...what do you think you would regret more?

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The only thing to add is this: Your needs must come first at least some of the time, and if you cannot do that, then you must leave for both your sakes.
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