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I need advice :(


bub
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Hi everyone 😊

So, to put it quite frankly, I'm really distressed and have been feeling...sort of empty for the past few days.

My life has gone through some extreme changes recently. I changed schools, moved to a new city, and I'm now living with my dad and uncle. I didn't fathom just how disastrous these changes could be for my mental health. I've been trying to look at the bright side of these changes, but it's so difficult :( 

I also have a back injury which makes it really hard to walk and sit. The recovery is painfully slow :( 

Everything seems so...hard. 

I can't really talk about these internal problems with my friends or family, primarily because I know they have problems of their own to deal with. I don't want to stress them out even more.

But I was hoping I could get some advice on how to cope with these problems...So, please help me out! 🤗

- Bub

💞

 

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This might be a really silly, stupid suggestion, but I always use distractions and methods of escapism in times like this. Whether that's a good book, a video game or even some form of kink. It's why a lot of us like pain play -- it's a good way to take you out of your head for a little while and focus on the present. 

I also wanted to suggest a little game on Steam that I really, really like for when I just feel like I can't handle anything and I need to feel comforted but can't find that comfort in my personal life. It's called Kind Words and it's a little game where you design your room based off of stickers that people send you while you reply to anonymous letters and send out positive wishes in paper airplanes. It has a lo-fi soundtrack in the background that makes it perfect to use as a screensaver while you're working on something else, and then clicking on your inbox to read people's responses to you. 

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Sounds like you may benefit from finding a mental health professional to help you get through the immediate issues.

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1 minute ago, Little kaiya said:

Sounds like you may benefit from finding a mental health professional to help you get through the immediate issues.

This! 

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I have been thinking about going to a therapist for quite some time now. Maybe I'll act on it, after all hehe☺️

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I understand what you mean by escapism methods, I have my own, too!! 😚

Thank you for suggesting the game, I'll definitely try it out!! :D

 

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As far as your back I just goes, I would recommend you finding a good primary care provider who can do some imaging, and refer you to the proper specialist, whether it be a physical therapist or a spine specialist for further management (which if you’re younger would likely include conservative management like physical therapy, non-narcotic pain management, etc.). Lotsa good advice here for your mental health, but taking care of the physical problem would be very beneficial as well, and a good primary care provider can direct you toward mental healthcare, too. 

Edited by LittleLavenderGirl
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Hi Bub, and thank you for sharing and especially reaching out.  That took courage, and I know that I speak for many on this forum when I say you have a lot of supporters that are proud of you for doing so! 

That said, your body, mind and spirit have gone through a MASSIVE shift.. not sure what your previous circumstances are and to a certain extent, that doesn't matter.  What Does, is you're here now.. and finding your way through the labyrinth you're currently in is paramount! 

A professional whenever we are being stretched in so many different directions, is always a help.  Someone you can confide in with the personal and perhaps very vulnerable parts of your emotions and circumstance, can be an incredible help.  I don't know if you journal, but I've been a looooong time proponent of audio journaling.  If not familiar, you can google and there are some great vids out that can help explain all the ins and outs.  If getting away for moments when you can be totally and 100% alone and real with what you're feeling etc.,isn't possible,  then perhaps written journaling.. but I would only recommend either, if you have a private space or area to keep your journal in, away from eyes and ears that have no business listening to such sensitive thoughts and feelings. 

Beyond that, yes it sounds as though perhaps some type of professional attention to what your back issue may be is definitely in order.. as a note, and I would totally seek professional advice with this before attempting or even purchasing one.. but I've worked with an Inversion Table for now over 2 decades.. it's possible it MAY help, but again I can't stress enough please please please, talk to your primary physician or physical therapist / chiropractor before using one.   

Just a couple of thoughts, but you are completely entitled and right to feel overwhelmed and kind of at your wits end..  my thoughts and those of so many that are or will become aware of your story, are with you in wishing you beautiful physical, emotional and spiritual health during these times.  🌹

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Hey! I am so sorry to hear you're going through all of this. I think you have been given some great advice when it comes to journaling, seeking a therapist, and finding escapists methods to get your mind off of it. If you feel up to it and have it available to you, maybe consider joining some groups at your new school to get to know people and get involved in things? I also find it's good to give yourself things to look forward to like fun events, movies coming out, or whatever interests you. When I have something I'm really looking forward to it can definitely help.

I don't know if you are getting help from a doctor or physical therapist, but if not those are good options to start. My last doctor was also trained in OMT (occupational muscle therapy) and that was also really helpful when I was having various issues. I don't know if you're taking pain medication or not, but either way there is this cream called Penetrex you can order on Amazon that is super amazing and was recommended to me. I have some persistent, very painful injuries and Penetrex has helped a ton. It's not sticky and it doesn't smell bad like some other creams. A little bit goes a long way!

Also, I believe there are sites/forums that exist specifically for people going through difficult things to help support each other and give advice, so that might be helpful if you're more shy or unsure about seeking help from people in person.

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@ZenDaddy @Vampiress @LittleLavenderGirlThank you so much, I really needed to hear that. I do have a physical therapist, but she has put me on solo exercise for the past month. I've requested my father to take me to a spine specialist as well ! But he has tons of work and promised to take me next week.

And, yes, I do journal :D It indeed helps a lot sometimes, but I feel like it's not helping nowadays...

Thank you guys for the advice, I'll definitely take them into account ❤️

And thank you so much for taking the time out to write the advice for me, I'm incredibly grateful ☺️

You're all amazing people! 

Lots and lots of hugs and love,

Bub

💕

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You’re not alone in this. And however much we may feel we’re the only ones that have dealt with whatever it may be, when it comes to this community, there’s bound to be others that have dealt with the same or similar types of life changes or issues.  There’s some incredible hearts and souls on this forum.. some of which you’ve heard from.  Continue to reach out, and connect with others as you’ve done here Bub.. it seems that thus far, the rest is up to you.  We all wish you the best!! 

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