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Fifty Shades vs. The Secretary


Guest Daddy's☆treasure
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Fifty Shades of Grey vs. The Secretary  

44 members have voted

  1. 1. Which film do you feel portrayed BDSM better?

    • The Secretary
    • Fifty Shades of Grey


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Guest Daddy's☆treasure

Just interested to know....Which movie do you feel portrayed BDSM better? Fifty Shades of Grey or the 2002 movie The Secretary?

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Well I haven't seen the 50 shades movie and probably never will, but from what I know and from what I've heard from the book, I don't think we can say it portrays BDSM, it actually seems pretty far from it! 

I thought The Secretary was a good movie and I enjoyed it. I think it doesn't perfectly portrays BDSM either, but in the end it did show some good things too.

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Guest Daddy's☆treasure

Thanks for your input! :) Yeah I think portray was not quite the right word. I also agree and think that fifty shades was NOT at all accurate and it does nothing for the BDSM community.  I liked The Secretary and I think if I had to choose between that and fifty I would chose The Secretary. Though I agree neither of them do a good job of representing BDSM on a whole. I was just interested to see what peoples thoughts were on the topic. :)

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Secretary has a special place in my heart just because it was the first movie me and Daddy ever watched together. I think Secretary does a lot of good in showing the insecurities people can have in D/s relationships, I really related to those parts of the movie. I don't think it is a perfect portrayal at all, it has its issues, but it is a million times better than 50 shades of grey. 50 shades of grey is just flat out a showcase of an abusive relationship not BDSM imo
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Both aren't portrayed properly in my opinion. Like others mentioned 50 Shades of Grey is more an abusive relationship than it is D/s.

The Secretary is about *warning, spoilers!* a masochist with mental problems and the boss she works for happens to be a sadist that, when he finds out she's a masochist, uses his higher position to take advantage of the situation, so this too isn't a good example... *end of spoiler*

I believe there's yet to be a mainstream movie made were D/s and/or BDSM are accurately displayed.

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I don't care for either, honestly, so I'm not going to say one was better at portraying a healthy D/s relationship. What I think however is good that this has brought a lot of attention to the BDSM community, arguably maybe not positive attention, but the especially the 50 shades of Grey movie is notorious for its poor representation of BDSM, so I'm sure it has at least made some people do further research into it or at least vaguely introduced them to the concept. My point is kinda "all publicity is good publicity" although I don't necessarily agree with that, it's just bringing more attention to the lifestyle and introducing new people to it that hopefully would do their research. 

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Guest MyDaddyMyWorld

I wouldn't watch fifty shades if you payed me lol. Yuk. Got halfway through the book before giving up. Awful AWFUL thing. Worst writing I've ever experienced, dull, two dimensional characters with no personality and no story line. It's a mockery of intelligence, never mind the lifestyle. I only got that far in because of the hype and thinking SURELY it would get better. But nope. It didn't. It is a joke and an embarrassment to the community for good reason.

I have, funnily enough, just ordered the Secretary on dvd, so will be able to comment on that once I have chance to watch it.

But I can only imagine it's a hundred times better and closer to the truth of bdsm.

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Secretary will always have a place in my heart because it was the 1st time I could relate to a character so completely. From the bad tongue habit to the cutting. It was also one of our 1st movies together and James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal are awesome no matter what they are in. I love how through his control he helps her out of her darkness. And like his little flower she blooms.

 

I have read all the books and seen the movie. 50 shades started out as Twilight fan fiction. So with that said I felt it wasn't about abuse. It was once again about how the power of love can change you into a better person. He starts out seeking someone who will willing be his stress relief, someone who resembles a person from his past who caused him suffering as a child. But this wasn't helping him heal, just survive. But then He found love. In order to keep his love he had to heal. She saves him.

 

In both cases someone evolved because of love. I don't think either is ABOUT bdsm but I agree that any attention is better then no attention.

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Guest kittycandy's Daddy

"I don't make love. I fuck....hard"  "Butt plugs??" 

Fifty shades was an amazing comedy that had me and my little laughing all the way to the end! 
While it brought lots of attention and new acceptance of/to the community, it's a terrible film and really shouldn't be the go-to for BDSM related media.


The Secretary is a much better film, though somewhat misses the mark too when trying to portray BDSM. Plus James Spader is awesome. 
Wish it had gotten more attention now, though we'll never really know how much media attention it got when it first released. 

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After seeing this posted I watched the secretary to compare the to and I have a feeling E.L James watched this when writing 50 Shades but I could be wrong. In my opinion the two seem very similar in a few aspects other than the abusive relationships and the men in power.

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I've never seen the secretary, after learning more about D/s lifestyles, I would say 50 shades is inaccurate. But it was originally twilight fan fiction so........

 

<3

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Guest littlemissragamuffin
I haven't watched either one. I haven't heard of the one. And I've heard nothing but bad things about 50shades of grey(except people who don't do BDSM,they seem to love it)
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The ending of The Secretary is infinitely worse than anything that happens in Fifty Shades, he commands her to essentially starve herself for three days before agreeing to be in a relationship with her. No no no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

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Guest Daddy's☆treasure

This is true and I didn't agree with it either but I think the majority is right here in that The Secretary is better than fifty shades.

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I disagree from a moral standpoint. The Secretary portrays an activity that could very well kill a person as romantic, which is disgusting, that ending turns the movie into something far worse than Fifty Shades. Both are awful don't get me wrong but The Secretary is faaaaaaar worse.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Daddy's☆treasure

My question was more the sort of "if you HAD to choose one'... because I do agree with the majority on here.

 

BeardDaddy, I am not sure what other films there are that are BDSM related but I may have to google it and find out! :)

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Guest Daddy's☆treasure

Just to add, I really hated the part in Fifty Shades where Ana asks Christian what she should research in terms of BDSM and he simply replies with "try submissive". She could have stumbled across so much misinformation that way! That part really bugged me. Among others (i.e the fact that when you see a glimpse of the contract submissive is written with a capital "S" - I was taught by my DD to address in the correct way using capitals and lowercase when in written form).

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Some might find this unrelated to the subject, but I feel the need to post this on all topics related to 50 shades

 

In one of the three books (I believe the second) the young lady does use their safeword and he DOESN'T stop.

Which means it is no longer consentual sex and it is rape.

So yeah...

I get really upset at the people who really like 50shades and are oblivious to how horrible it is

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Guest Jennyanydots

I know nothing about the Secretary, but 50 Shades actually concerns me. I have a number er of girlfriends who hold on to this notion that men will change with the power of love. Women especially seem to hold on to these Disney fairytale beliefs. I think it is particularly dangerous thinking when you apply it to BDSM where one partner will already be surrendering to the other. Just judging by this forum alone it seems that a LOT of women (subs) - and I'm sure male subs as well - are abused because their Dom uses their trust against them. Just like in the story. Except in real life, your Dom isn't going to be magically cured of his mental health issues and treat you like the perfect goddess that you are. No matter how much he/she loves you. Such people need medical help. I don't care what kind of fan fiction it started as. The relationship portrayed in Twilight is hardly a healthy one and I don't believe young girls should be reading it (and tbh can't imagine why they'd want to), but I digress.

 

While it doesn't have any sex in it, both of the Adams Family films with Anjelica Huston and Raul Julia, IMHO, are perfect examples of a BDSM relationship. Morticia and Gomez are switches. Yes it's a comedy, but if you pay attention to the way those two interact...they're kind of the perfect couple....plus, Anjelica Huston and Raul Julia...how hot is that?

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