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Dd/lg is an ADULT relationship dynamic


LolitaDaddy
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Dd & lg, we are 1st ADULTS, are we not?

I think this is worth discussing & maybe drilling down a bit more to help newbies in their exploration & search for their dd or lg.

 

For the newbies, I think it's critically important to ask yourselves... Do you clearly recognize that dd/lg is an ADULT relationship dynamic? That it exist "within" the mind, body & heart of mutually consenting adults?

 

Anyone after reading through the many comments, responses & encouragements, it should be obvious that dd/lg is an ADULT relationship dynamic... But the pattern I see are of missed dd/lg expectations, to be summed up by: "Dd/lg relationship is no different than any other relationship."

 

What does that mean for the newbies to dd/lg, kink or some that are looking for their 1st relationship itself?

 

Are new littles & young daddies alike, while on the forum are putting down their guard instead up, abandoning their own individual adult persona in exchange for kink personas that may never see the light of day other than their daddy or little? As a little, you can't & shouldn't be loosing your person hood in the dd/lg dynamic... right?

 

It is equally important, said, to not rush into anything, not making premature promises or submission... especially online by dd or lg newbies, especially where the tendency of vulnerable littles is to rush into & surrender or submit to a daddy or a dd expecting love & LTR, but getting hookups. Any experienced or concerning dd wouldn't or shouldn't be expecting a newbie little to be that... right?

 

Any thoughts, concerns or other perspectives on the issue or sub topics... what dd/lg kink is or what it is not? How or what dynamics are really involved? Safety, self protection, play, care giving, reassurance, & after care... Maybe links to already addressed subjects?

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Well, I'm brand new to this whole thing (not sure which abbreviations to include because ALL of them are new to me). I can only explain generally how my current relationship led me here. My little and me are both mature adults with successful lives as adults, and our children are grown. Our interest is only in an adult relationship with each other that allows for us both to experiment in different forms of role play (I guess this is what it's called), in which she allows herself to enjoy being "young" again, and I enjoy being her caregiver. This is something that is done frequently but usually as a lifestyle I suppose because it's rarely ever included during our intimate moments together. So I'm not sure if this is a lifestyle or if we are doing it wrong or whatever, but I know it feels comfortable for us and we are taking things very slowly in this area, although we've been together for over a year. I don't know enough about any of this to even know how to have an intelligent discussion on it, which makes me feel vulnerable. But nothing risked, nothing gained, right? As long as it's a calculated risk, lol. Well, I will be grateful for your feedback and insight. Thank you much.

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Guest starrflower

  I appreciate the protective advice of the more experienced members and it helps.  It is quite scary to rush into a relationship and important to really get to know the person.  It's easy to get into a fantasy world about people.  

 

I agree with you that it is important not to lose yourself.  We in fact are not looking for our other half, or looking for a person to fill something we are missing.  Because we are whole just as we are.  Regardless of how we feel.   

 

And the bottom line is that we are all adults.  And learning how to respect boundaries is a very adult thing to do regardless of the ddlg dynamic

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:claps: Thank you for this.

I agree on this becuse I tend to see a lot of this mentality where the DD or lg in question forgets themselves in the process of finding a DD or lg .When I was 22 I was clingly and desprite for attention I met guys online and would hope he was the one had a one week relationship that went no where even. I was 22 with the love sick mentaity of a 15 year old and I see many others who are 18-22 also being similar here in that regard (as well as the underage folak who get on here becuse they think it's okay to be in a kink at age 16)And thus the "underage littles" are born of this "DD/lg is no diffrent then any other relationship" For many it means "I can be a little even though I'm 14 and can have a daddy and I don't care what you say"

DD/lg is a lifestyle and for me it's helped with my anxiety and depression. However I didn't get into it till September of 2015 and only after two years and many many weeks of bad thing after bad thing after depression episode. I think many people just starting DD/lg should watch the TV show catfish, and have confidence in themselves. people getting tricked with online relationships is so common now and I can't understand why when we literally have a TV show that shows the dangerous side of online dating and the heart break of it.

 

DD/lg is diffrent then a normal relationship for a few reasons.

1. To be little means to be confident in what you like not publicly maybe but your not embarssed about what you like.

2. it means your adult enough to handle all the adult emotions that come with the reality or big side when your not little

3. it can be anything from roleplay to a lifestyle but both parties need to talk and coummunicate deeply about what they want. With out that there is no relationship

4. You are your own person with out another person to be your little/Daddy becuse to be an adult most of the time you have to be able to be both parts on your own for a while till you find the right one or a job to be able to move or whatever the case is.

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Guest ♡PrincessAlice♡

Thank you indeed. It's something that was hovering on many people their minds and no one outed it but now you did, so thanks for speaking out.

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Thank you all for the pisitive feedbacks.

 

Just a thought... of how many of our wounded soldiers are now being fitted with prosthetics, instead feeling physically deficient, some feel "augmented" physically to allow them to continue everyday life & even to compete in sports.

Ideally, we would like to be perfectly well adjusted individuals, but we are all flawed humans & definitely can use some help from time to time. So, maybe as dd/lg dynamic & community, we can see ourselves being realtionshiply complimented, encouraged or augmented by our dd/lg kink dynamic or partner, especially that of daddy to our lg.

 

Welcome Cowboy... Just a fyi, typically the term father is not used in dd/lg. We can be fatherly or a father figure to our little, but we are "daddy."

 

Also, we wouldn't expect to celebrate Father's day to our little... outwardly that is. Privately, we can celebrate daddy's day with our little everyday... in role plays, kink augment, or full fledged lifestyle relationship dynamic.

 

As always, all the best.

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Thank you all for the pisitive feedbacks.

 

Just a thought... of how many of our wounded soldiers are now being fitted with prosthetics, instead feeling physically deficient, some feel "augmented" physically to allow them to continue everyday life & even to compete in sports.

Ideally, we would like to be perfectly well adjusted individuals, but we are all flawed humans & definitely can use some help from time to time. So, maybe as dd/lg dynamic & community, we can see ourselves being realtionshiply complimented, encouraged or augmented by our dd/lg kink dynamic or partner, especially that of daddy to our lg.

 

Welcome Cowboy... Just a fyi, typically the term father is not used in dd/lg. We can be fatherly or a father figure to our little, but we are "daddy."

 

Also, we wouldn't expect to celebrate Father's day to our little... outwardly that is. Privately, we can celebrate daddy's day with our little everyday... in role plays, kink augment, or full fledged lifestyle relationship dynamic.

 

As always, all the best.

 

My apologies for the misuse of terms. I'm new to the dynamic and community, so I'm still learning the usage of terms. I'll strive to use correct terminology in future communications. Thank you. :)

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"Love is a command to rise to one's highest potential, the noblest vision of one's self." 

 

Everyone has their own conception of love, passion, and committment and will therefore seek unions that represent said values or lack thereof. Ideologies, intelligence levels, experiences, and emotional receptivity will influence the aforementioned attitudes of the persons involved and all these underlying facets mold the dynamic. People tend to seek what they want rather than what they need and this leads to incompatible unions as does the illusion that mutual interests equates to mutual outlooks on love and life. Fantasy is confused with reality, and people jump into relationships not knowing what it is they are after and generally not caring either. This is magnified tenfold in this dynamic. Why? It may be that some see it as a retreat from a relationship rather than a wholehearted embrace of what it means to devote yourself body, mind, and soul to another individual.

 

 As far as I'm concerned your partner should be your soul mate, your best friend, your teacher, and embody all of your wants, desires, but most importantly, your needs. I never specifically sought a DDLG dynamic and firmly believe that it's potentially dangerous for others to do so. I believe the caregiver and little dynamic should occur naturally between individuals as a result of their relationship rather than a premeditated reason for entering said relationship. I see far too often individuals with either extraordinarily lax or extraordinarily strict guidelines for the partner they seek. This elusive partner appears to be a fictional phantom rather than a living, breathing entity. 

 

As in any relationship, two persons need to mesh on an instrinsic level in order to be fulfilled. As you said, donning a guise, and becoming a ghost to your true nature won't help anyone. Being a little does not mean that you sit around all day just playing with stuffies and watching Disney movies. I am always advocating for intelligence to be coveted and honed in all individuals, littles included. To love well you most love intelligently.

 

In other words, you must be reflective of both yourself and your partner, learn from your mistakes, seek to improve, appreciate the little things, have self-discipline, and understand that you must evolve with your partner and grow together. Don't be shallow and petty and desire only to have your needs be fulfilled. Your partner is a person, first and foremost, and you need to communicate with them as such on a regular basis. Being a little should be an extension of your persona, not your entire person. It may be an integral part of your character but there should be other facets of your personality that allows you to connect, nurture, love, and wholeheartedly give yourself to your caregiver. In order to do this, you need to be a whole person rather than the ghost of one. The same goes for caregivers. 

 

Too many are viewing this dynamic as a kink, a fantasy, or an opportunity for laxness. A DDLG dynamic should exemplify unconditional love, support, and guidance that allows you to reach your full potential. This potential will never be realized if you take neither yourself, your partner, or your dynamic seriously. 

 

Partners need to be chosen not for what they offer as a "daddy" but what they offer as a person and vice versa. 

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