Posted 29 May 2017 - 01:50 PM
Hi, so I literally found out yesterday that I have more little tendencies than I realised. So I am,really new to the idea even 😊 but it has not been easy for me.
I'm currently in a LDR, and I mentioned to my partner that I realised a month or so ago, that I have little tendencies, we both laughed and she said she's surprised that I even accepted the fact, because when I was home between Dec 2016 and January 2017, while we were,..busy, she had moved to hold me in a certain manner and my immediate reaction was fairly aggressive and that I said, don't do that, I'm not a baby. I can't even remember this, but it feels accurate. And what had happened the day before this discussion, is that I was having a fantasy, and at 2 pivotal points during this fantasy, I had called her mommy. And even in th fantasy I had stopped it, because it has always been a parental type vibe for me. And by the 2nd time in th fantasy it just made me explode really- in a good way.
And so I'v been trying to digest this situation, we've been talking about it and th reasons why I'm finding it so difficult almost, is well, due to sexual abuse when I was a child, it kind of brings that up for me. And also, because I'm not home, in that environment to experience it in that manner, I feel it's making it more difficult for me just to accept the fact this is such a major turn on for me.
Are there any mommies or Littles who have had to deal with this type of situation?? A little struggling to come to terms with being in that mind set and wanting it to be sexual, but fighting past demons at the same time?? And how did u go about accepting or helping to accept it?