That Empty Feeling

[Desphiria]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this topic but, if it's not will the mods please move it to the right forum please? Thank you. ^^

 

So, at first I wasn't gonna post this at all but, I was wondering if anyone had any advice or could help me somehow. Twice this week I suddenly got kinna depressed because, even though I have an S/O it just feels like I'm not gonna ever had a Daddy. At first I didn't even want one but, recently I think it'd be nice. I've told him about this stuff and started out maybe calling him Big Brother instead but some months ago he wanted to try being a daddy. 

 

Honestly, I don't think he gets it, and I just don't know what to do to help him so I kinna stopped bothering him about it. It feels like maybe I should wait until whenever we get to meet since it's Long Distance but god knows how long that'll take. We've tried it online by doing a Daddy/Daughter roleplay but I don't know, it felt like... he wasn't doing it right because he just doesn't understand. I unno if it's just me thinking too much or, what.

 

But my question is, what do you guys do when you're REALLY depressed and don't really have anyone to hang out with and can't really do anything with your Daddies or mommies, or brothers, or caretakers and stuff? I hope my explanation wasn't too long and made sense. XS

[Xia]

I do anything and everything to pass the time. I usually throw on a long youtube video (like Sourcefed's #TableTalk), read several articles at once,  and flip around on other websites (PostSecret, Tumblr, Facebook, here, etc.).

Needless to say, I'm not good at handling myself while I'm feeling down. It's more of a literal drowning it all out.

 

When I'm handling better, I spend time with my dog, get lost in Minecraft (or another game, Fate and Persona 4 were go-tos when Daddy was working), read, work on artsy stuff (like my Etsy), journal, or anything to try and work through my brain space and/or smile.

 

I'm sorry you're having difficulties though, if you need someone to talk to, just send me a friend request.

[Desphiria]

Okay. When I get depressed I try to play games and listen to music and youtube but that doesn't really help much. It suuccckks. *Sigh* It distracts me for a bit then I get bored. 

[Xia]

That sucks, I'm sorry.

[ashwee]

I try to keep myself occupied, and if possible I try to talk to people online and focus on other things. It's not always easy when you do feel really depressed, but if you can do it, keeping your mind off of it can sometimes be the best thing.

[KittenCat]

My daddy had some trouble wrapping his head around it too-- and things are much better now. Once he figured out that I just wanted him to take care of me, treat me like I'm special, and make me do things I need to do, he felt a lot better about it. If you introduce it as a relationship dynamic instead of roleplaying it works better, I think.

So I guess what I'm saying is-- you should start working on figuring that out exactly what you want from him and why you want it. That way you can explain better so he can understand and can help. Daddies want to help, but they sometimes have trouble understanding!

[Desphiria]

My daddy had some trouble wrapping his head around it too-- and things are much better now. Once he figured out that I just wanted him to take care of me, treat me like I'm special, and make me do things I need to do, he felt a lot better about it. If you introduce it as a relationship dynamic instead of roleplaying it works better, I think.

So I guess what I'm saying is-- you should start working on figuring that out exactly what you want from him and why you want it. That way you can explain better so he can understand and can help. Daddies want to help, but they sometimes have trouble understanding!

 

Well, okay. I can try and do that. I think I know what to tell him. But how do I introduce it as a relationship though? 

[Tiger Striperino]

Listening to Electric Light Orchestra always cheers me up.

[KittenCat]

Well, okay. I can try and do that. I think I know what to tell him. But how do I introduce it as a relationship though?

 

It helps if he's already a caretaker-type. Is he the kind of person who wants to support you and be there for you? If he is, it'll make this much easier.

 

Think about what you need from him. Then tell him that, and tell him why. My Daddy says to do some visioning-- what would you want your relationship to look like, if it was a perfect scenario? Then write a list of emotional and physical needs based on that. If in your perfect scenario someone is tucking you in every night, figure out what you get from that and what he or you could do to get what you need. It's especially tricky for you since it's long distance, but it's doable!

[Desphiria]

Oooohs, okay. I'm gonna try it! And yeah, he is. I think. I'm gonna do all those things. *hugs* Thank you. That advice was very helpful. I'm still welcome to much more advice too! ^^

[Littlebun]

I know my King has always been a "Daddy", but he doesn't like that title, and I personally don't love it either. King works for us and we are both happy and comfortable! It could possibly be the labels or just lack of knowledge that could be putting him off. Good luck!