Watch your WORDS. / actions

[PINKLILLY]

This is something that as a little, I would openly like to announce to every caregiver , Daddy or Mommy.

 

Watch your words.

Words can have the biggest affect on your little one.

I would like to discuss this because I was just recently hurt by someone who failed to watch their words.

 

When your little one is excited about something ... unless you are truly in a place where it's impossible to respond to her In a loving manner... please be excited with her, watch how you respond & watch your words. Caregivers don't acknowledge the fact that littles are VERY OBSERVANT.

 

We can easily tell when a daddy or mommy is not interested in what we are saying. We can tell when they give us a response such as "cool" or "that's nice" and we can most defiantly tell when someone is just dragging a conversation along with us .. or ACTIVELY INVOLVED in the conversation and our interests.

 

I can't tell you the hurt a little can feel when you make her feel as though she's uninteresting.

 

When your little is excited, or telling you about something she feels is important , or something she wants you to know about her... weather it's BIG HER OR LITTLE HER, Learn how to actively take interest in getting to know both sides of her.

 

Show her you care.

Ask her questions,

Be excited with her,

Ask her more questions!

 

Never dismiss her, because she's submissive.

Never think her conversation doesn't matter just as much as yours just because you have the authority.

Never when she is excited, tell her to relax, or make excuses for why you aren't listening.

 

I gaurentee you in due time you will lose your little.

And what's sad about cases like this and usually the care giver blames the little .. I.E. "she was too needy"

 

When in fact they just failed to pay attention.

 

Do not engage with a little who wants something of you if you want something different. Some are here for just role play, some are here for love, some want their caregiver to know BOTH sides of them; and take interests in them as a whole person.

 

If you are a caregiver who is only interested in the little her, tell her that from the beginning so she doesn't feel unwanted by you when you act uninterested in the big her.

 

If you are a caregiver who wants to be understood and loved, then pay attention to how you are PAYING ATTENTION TO HER.

 

It's one thing to give a little attention ..

but it's truely another thing to actually engage and show interest in who she / he is as a person.

 

We can tell when someone is just dragging us along for a ride.

We can tell when someone is genuine.

 

It hurts us when you blow us off, drag us along ..

Watch what you say, watch what you do.

 

Sometimes it's really the details that matter.

 

Xoxo .

[Kara]

beautifully said

[Guest]

so true...

[Guest]

Most definitely..

[bad_apple]

Agreed. In the end it could also lead to the little pulling away cause why talk if it doesn't matter anyway.

[Hurndauke]

Well said!

[Princess-P]

Or... Maybe the little is too needy. That is possible. You can't expect your caregiver to jump with joy for each silly little thing.

 

So many of these observations about things caregivers can do differently are fine... Except many leave out the fact that littles are guilty of the exact same thing.

 

Littles should be showing real genuine interest in things their caregivers enjoy. They should be responding appropriately rather then sulking or having a fit because they have been asked to do something they may not want or enjoy.

 

Many littles lose their caregivers for being distant, never coming out of title space,expecting too much, getting involved with someone who wants a partner but all they want is to be taken care of...

 

Let's just not pretend littles are so sweet and innocent. Many are manipulative and are looking to use someone. Many are greedy for care and attention but do not give it in return under the guise of "I'm a little I don't have to".

 

Anything that can be said of caregivers doing wrong there's a little who's just as guilty.

[bad_apple]

I don't think anyone has said littles are innocent and not guilty of of not listening to their CGs.

As with all things, the appell to actually listen to the other, goes both ways.

[Guest BeMyBaby]

I was surprised to learn how much my kitten appreciated the attention to detail and how intentional and deliberate I am with her. I often feel that way, but her expression of gratitude for it was deeply satisfying.

 

She is a very observant creature and I always feel so appreciated when my efforts are noticed. It keeps me in a space where I can be sure to show her how grateful I am for her and the things she gives me, too.

[DaddyPenguin]

I do agree. I do have to say i agree with Princess P as well.

[ChibiPuppy]

This is so true! Princess-P has a very valid point too though. Both the Caregiver and Little coins have two sides. While one Caregiver genuinely enjoys and are good at dealing with needy and attentionseeking littles, another Caregiver may not. While there are Littles who are sweet, kind and just excitable, there are Littles who force themselves onto their Caregiver.

Speak up. Tell them if they don't feel genuine. I refer to both sides here. Communication, as always, is the key to this problem.

Another important point is to consider what's more important to you with a single person; love or your littlespace/caregiverspace(?). Because if you can't stand that they are not a perfect match for you as a little/caregiver, maybe it's time to end it and move on. If love is more important than that, you have to compromise and communicate. It's not ONLY about a Littles needs, nor about a Caregivers authority.

[PINKLILLY]

[PINKLILLY]