Father's Day

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

Hey there amazing people,

 

I'd like to ask for your opinion about littles into ddlg who celebrate father's day for their daddy, honestly I think it's a bit too much and it can make normal people uncomfortable, I've seen a few people on tumblr (where the ddlg community, in my opinion, is hell) celebrating  and writing posts about it, I tried to tell them that it's wrong and why but they insulted me and told me that there's nothing wrong with it.

I don't agree with them and I think that father's day is a great festivity and it shouldn't be contaminated by a kink, now I'd like to hear your opinions

[littlecl13]

i don't care what other people do as long as they aren't hurting anyone or exposing non-consenting individuals to their kink. if a little and daddy want to celebrate Father's Day, then they should. (and no one should criticize them for that)

 

personally, i wouldn't.

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

i don't care what other people do as long as they aren't hurting anyone or exposing non-consenting individuals to their kink. if a little and daddy want to celebrate Father's Day, then they should. (and no one should criticize them for that)

 

personally, i wouldn't.

 

 

yeah well, I think there should be boundaries, having a kink is ok, but celebrating father's day on tumblr and posting in the "father's day" tag can be triggering for somebody

[Ink]

Your language is pretty hostile on the subject. 'Contaminated' and 'Normal People' - its quite divisive. I understand your disagreement with their choices but using these words force a conversation to be argumentative because people feel the need to either concede or defend themselves.

 

You make a very good point about it being triggering for some people. Ultimately it is a kink and so if its out in places people wouldn't expect to encounter it then they don't have the chance to avoid it. In this sense I'd find it more appropriate to use a different hashtag or social-media appropriate label from the common 'Fathers Day' so its more obvious. But celebrating one persons love for another person any day of the year should be encouraged, no matter the reason.

 

These people are out celebrating how much they care for one another. I'm not really sure why you'd want to discourage that simply because of what they call it.

 

-edit: spelling

Edited June 18, 2017 by Ink

[Mr_Big]

Very well and eloquently said Ink. I couldn't have said it any better myself.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Well, I guess I'm not sure the hashtag is appropriate, but aside from that, it's their life... let them live it. Truthfully, you don't know the people on a personal level, and they may not have a father figure more fitting to celebrate Father's Day with. Their Daddy could be the closest thing to s father figure they have (guiding, nurturing, loving, protecting).

 

My father, for example, died when I was 15. I celebrate Father's Day with my Daddy/husband not because of our kink, but because he's the father of our children. I'm not sure if I would celebrate Father's Day with him if he wasn't the father of our children, but I do know that since I've began celebrating Father's Day with him, it makes the pain more bearable that my father isn't here.

 

Yeah, it could be triggering to some. But telling people how to live their lives when you know nothing about them is wrong. It's entirely possible celebrating this day with their Daddy helps ease their pain, and if that's what they choose to do that is their right.

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

Your language is pretty hostile on the subject. 'Contaminated' and 'Normal People' - its quite divisive. I understand your disagreement with their choices but using these words force a conversation to be argumentative because people feel the need to either concede or defend themselves.

 

You make a very good point about it being triggering for some people. Ultimately it is a kink and so if its out in places people wouldn't expect to encounter it then they don't have the chance to avoid it. In this sense I'd find it more appropriate to use a different hashtag or social-media appropriate label from the common 'Fathers Day' so its more obvious. But celebrating one persons love for another person any day of the year should be encouraged, no matter the reason.

 

These people are out celebrating how much they care for one another. I'm not really sure why you'd want to discourage that simply because of what they call it.

 

-edit: spelling

 

I used those words because I'm not a native speaker so sometimes I have troubles with vocabulary so I think that my choosing of words shouldn't be considered in this topic.

Of course you can, and you must, celebrate your love every day, but what I was saying is that sharing some sort of content in the "father's day" tag can make people unconfortable and can be triggering, so I don't see the point in saying just things like "anyone can do whaterer they want" and stuff like that, because it doesn't answare to my question and it doesn't add anything to the conversation

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I used those words because I'm not a native speaker so sometimes I have troubles with vocabulary so I think that my choosing of words shouldn't be considered in this topic.

Of course you can, and you must, celebrate your love every day, but what I was saying is that sharing some sort of content in the "father's day" tag can make people unconfortable and can be triggering, so I don't see the point in saying just things like "anyone can do whaterer they want" and stuff like that, because it doesn't answare to my question and it doesn't add anything to the conversation

It does answer your question, though. Your question was what we thought of people celebrating Father's Day in the DDlg community. The answer was, anyone can do what they want. Meaning he sees no issues with it.

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

Well, I guess I'm not sure the hashtag is appropriate, but aside from that, it's their life... let them live it. Truthfully, you don't know the people on a personal level, and they may not have a father figure more fitting to celebrate Father's Day with. Their Daddy could be the closest thing to s father figure they have (guiding, nurturing, loving, protecting).

 

My father, for example, died when I was 15. I celebrate Father's Day with my Daddy/husband not because of our kink, but because he's the father of our children. I'm not sure if I would celebrate Father's Day with him if he wasn't the father of our children, but I do know that since I've began celebrating Father's Day with him, it makes the pain more bearable that my father isn't here.

 

Yeah, it could be triggering to some. But telling people how to live their lives when you know nothing about them is wrong. It's entirely possible celebrating this day with their Daddy helps ease their pain, and if that's what they choose to do that is their right.

 

Oh gosh, it's not THEIR day, it's a day where people can celebrate their actuall father! Come on, anti-ddlg people's most used argument against us is that we celebrate incest (and pedophilia :\), celebrating our daddy on father's day is like saying that they're right!

I'm sorry that your father died when you were young but you celebrate your husband because he's  FATHER  to your children, it has nothing to do with what I was saying.

 

Probably celebrating their daddy on father's day can be ok to some people (not to me though), but at least they should do it in places where there's not a chance for people to be triggered or to feel unconfortable. 

[Antoinette]

Hi...

 

Yesterday I did a surprise picnic for my daddy in order to celebrate father's day. It wasn't purely because of the DDlg aspect but rather because he actually doesn't have and hasn't had a father figure in his life for a really long time - so I wanted him to have a good day. I also brought his 'normal' friends with us in order to celebrate as well, they all call themselves our children so in a way it was fitting. They weren't 'contaminated' or exposed to DDlg in a harmful way, they were merely there because they also cared about him. How is this harmful in anyway or how does this warrant an argument? You don't know the full reason as to why they're celebrating father's day with their daddy.

 

Also, I don't have a mum in my life so what I do is give mother's day gifts to my grandma - who is my motherly figure. So what if these littles are doing it because their daddy is their 'father' figure. It's really none of your business at the end of the day though.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Oh gosh, it's not THEIR day, it's a day where people can celebrate their actuall father! Come on, anti-ddlg people's most used argument against us is that we celebrate incest (and pedophilia :\), celebrating our daddy on father's day is like saying that they're right!

I'm sorry that your father died when you were young but you celebrate your husband because he's FATHER to your children, it has nothing to do with what I was saying.

 

Probably celebrating their daddy on father's day can be ok to some people (not to me though), but at least they should do it in places where there's not a chance for people to be triggered or to feel unconfortable.

Okay. This is my last post.

 

You asked for everyone's opinion and you're upset because we don't agree with you. Fine. Don't ask for opinions though because not everyone will agree with you.

 

I, frankly, have anxiety and I have tried my hardest my entire life to keep from possibly upsetting anyone or "triggering" anyone emotionally. It's exhausting, and really, I'm over it. I'm not going to bring my kink where young children are exposed to it in a graphic way, but if ANYONE wants to celebrate their Daddy on Father's Day, fine. Doing so in no way links to incest.

 

Yeah that dad I was telling you about who died? I had no biological ties to him. He was still my father. He raised me.

 

For many people, their Daddy's have helped them mature and grow as a person. A father can be whatever one makes of it. And looking at your Daddy Dom as a father figure does not make you wrong, in my book.

 

Have a nice day, and hopefully someone will give you the answer you want.

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

Okay. This is my last post.

 

You asked for everyone's opinion and you're upset because we don't agree with you. Fine. Don't ask for opinions though because not everyone will agree with you.

 

I, frankly, have anxiety and I have tried my hardest my entire life to keep from possibly upsetting anyone or "triggering" anyone emotionally. It's exhausting, and really, I'm over it. I'm not going to bring my kink where young children are exposed to it in a graphic way, but if ANYONE wants to celebrate their Daddy on Father's Day, fine. Doing so in no way links to incest.

 

Yeah that dad I was telling you about who died? I had no biological ties to him. He was still my father. He raised me.

 

For many people, their Daddy's have helped them mature and grow as a person. A father can be whatever one makes of it. And looking at your Daddy Dom as a father figure does not make you wrong, in my book.

 

Have a nice day, and hopefully someone will give you the answer you want.

 

There's no reason to be that rude, you could have said that in a more polite way, I was just asking my question and saying my opinion, in my view you are the ones who can't stand a different view of the subject

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

Hi...

 

Yesterday I did a surprise picnic for my daddy in order to celebrate father's day. It wasn't purely because of the DDlg aspect but rather because he actually doesn't have and hasn't had a father figure in his life for a really long time - so I wanted him to have a good day. I also brought his 'normal' friends with us in order to celebrate as well, they all call themselves our children so in a way it was fitting. They weren't 'contaminated' or exposed to DDlg in a harmful way, they were merely there because they also cared about him. How is this harmful in anyway or how does this warrant an argument? You don't know the full reason as to why they're celebrating father's day with their daddy.

 

Also, I don't have a mum in my life so what I do is give mother's day gifts to my grandma - who is my motherly figure. So what if these littles are doing it because their daddy is their 'father' figure. It's really none of your business at the end of the day though.

 

"It's really none ot your business", uhm...why are you so rude? I was just asking and, without this rude ending I would have said that I think what you did is very cute, and also giving a present to your grandmother is nice...well what else do I have to say? Calm down...

[Antoinette]

"It's really none ot your business", uhm...why are you so rude? I was just asking and, without this rude ending I would have said that I think what you did is very cute, and also giving a present to your grandmother is nice...well what else do I have to say? Calm down...

You're the last person to preach to others about being rude. This whole time you've been practically gagging for an argument and you've been completely hostile to people who say that doing something for their daddy on father's day is fine. Get over yourself.

 

Edit: it also is really none of your business as to what other people do on father's day, whether those things be for their daddy, father or anyone else. It's none of your business. Sorry that's kind of just a fact of life - you know, that you don't actually get to dictate other people's life. 

Edited June 18, 2017 by xAntoinette

[PartyAnimal]

*Makes cupcakes for all the littles and steaks for all the Daddys so we can all celebrate this day together as a community with differing opinions that still respects and encourages each other...whatever we decide to call this day.

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

Oh well, I asked a question expecting people here to be conscious of what can be triggering for people who aren't into ddlg, say whatever you want, I don't want to be banned for starting what I thought would have been a constructive discussion

[Guest LordEmtheDinosaur!]

1) Caregiver/little dynamics are a lifestyle not a kink, it's someone's daily life

 

2) Consent is important, if you don't want to littles celebrating their Daddy's on Father's day or Daddy's day then avoid tumblr and other places where ddlg/ddlb will be celebrating it

 

3) Why are people who aren't into dd/lg looking at these things in the first place? It's the same thing as number 2, if you don't want to see it and you know certain people will put in on tumblr etc then avoid it for a few days

 

4) There is no right/wrong or immoral/moral way, if it works for someone then so be it and if it doesn't work for someone then they don't have to like it or accept it or do it, just be respectful to the people who do celebrate it.

 

5) It's not like these people go parading and announcing to every person what they are doing and why, it is quite private and if you aren't gonna see it/hear it then don;t make a fuss about it, it's like it  never happened

 

6) Kinks do not contaminate things, having kinky sex doesn't ruin vanilla sex, kinky relationships doesn't ruin vanilla relationships

[cuppycakes]

Oh well, I asked a question expecting people here to be conscious of what can be triggering for people who aren't into ddlg, say whatever you want, I don't want to be banned for starting what I thought would have been a constructive discussion

 

I don't think you can call it a "constructive discussion" if you're so against the other point of view. Usually discussions involve listening and accepting that other people may have a different point of view than you do. Even in this last post you're very hostile and unwilling to accept that your opinion isn't the only one.

 

Advice for next time: maybe don't take such a firm stance on a subject before you hear another person's point of view. Most people even agreed with you that people celebrating it in that way should tag their posts differently, but you were so focused on their different point of view that you couldn't see that.

 

Discussions require an open mind, patience, and a willingness to be wrong. You seem like you just posted this so that we could validate your claims. You obviously expected everyone to agree with you, and that's not a good way to start a discussion.

[Littleme978]

Edited June 18, 2017 by Littleme978

[SkunkPrincess]

Whats the problem with celebrating fathers day with your Daddy? Fathers day is not only about your father, its about spreading love to the ones you care about. That can be your son, that can be your mother and if you want, it can be your Daddy. People have their own right to celebrate what they want with who they want on fathers day, and if people are getting triggered of other people having fun and spreading love with each other then I don't know life anymore.

 

No, serious business now. I celebrate fathers day with my Daddy, there is nothing 'pedophillia' or 'incest'about that. If people make up incest or pedophillia in your mind while other people are having fun or loving each other, I think there is something more wrong about them than those people who are celebrating fathers day with their Daddy.

 

 

Rant out.

Edited June 18, 2017 by SkunkPrincess

[Spooky]

Hey there amazing people,

 

I'd like to ask for your opinion about littles into ddlg who celebrate father's day for their daddy, honestly I think it's a bit too much and it can make normal people uncomfortable, I've seen a few people on tumblr (where the ddlg community, in my opinion, is hell) celebrating  and writing posts about it, I tried to tell them that it's wrong and why but they insulted me and told me that there's nothing wrong with it.

I don't agree with them and I think that father's day is a great festivity and it shouldn't be contaminated by a kink, now I'd like to hear your opinions

 

I think it is unfair to tell other people that what they decide to do as consenting adults is "wrong". 

None of us have the luxury of judging other people or shaming what they decide to do. 

I would also advise against trying to talk to people within the community on tumblr, they tend to be misinformed and very short with people who do not agree with them.

 

Personally, we don't celebrate "Hallmark holidays" 

We celebrate each other every single day and don't feel it's necessary to set aside any one day to show each other love and affection. 

If anyone wants to use Father's Day or Mother's Day or any other day of the year to celebrate their relationship, I think that is fantastic. 

 

 

Oh well, I asked a question expecting people here to be conscious of what can be triggering for people who aren't into ddlg, say whatever you want, I don't want to be banned for starting what I thought would have been a constructive discussion

 

From my understanding, no one here or that you mentioned went out of their way to bring DDLG into the public or around "normal" people as you so eloquently said. The fact is different people have different options and that is what makes us all special. No one would ban you for stating an opinion but being rude to people for posting theirs may get you into trouble. If you wish to have a "constructive discussion" try understanding others instead of getting upset when they don't agree. 

 

Still, a very interesting topic! 

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

I think it is unfair to tell other people that what they decide to do as consenting adults is "wrong". 

None of us have the luxury of judging other people or shaming what they decide to do. 

I would also advise against trying to talk to people within the community on tumblr, they tend to be misinformed and very short with people who do not agree with them.

 

Personally, we don't celebrate "Hallmark holidays" 

We celebrate each other every single day and don't feel it's necessary to set aside any one day to show each other love and affection. 

If anyone wants to use Father's Day or Mother's Day or any other day of the year to celebrate their relationship, I think that is fantastic. 

 

 

 

From my understanding, no one here or that you mentioned went out of their way to bring DDLG into the public or around "normal" people as you so eloquently said. The fact is different people have different options and that is what makes us all special. No one would ban you for stating an opinion but being rude to people for posting theirs may get you into trouble. If you wish to have a "constructive discussion" try understanding others instead of getting upset when they don't agree. 

 

Still, a very interesting topic! 

 

Uhm...I guess I have to be less "edgy" then, but really, sometimes the community on tumblr can be very toxic, I've experienced it myself. 

I understand that we all have to respect others' opinions, so why somebody kind of blamed me for being against celebrating daddies on father's day? I mean, I celebrate my boyfriend on Valentine's day and my father on father's day, am I too old fashioned? 

[BabySwe]

Given what seems to be your stance on the issue, and your defensive nature about it, I can only imagine that something in your own life, or the life of someone important to you, has triggered you or them. I think it is unwise to bring something up here that is such a hot button for you, and possibly others. It will only end hurt you in the end and you'll feel alienated, which is a shame. I understand that this is an important subject for you and that you were possibly hoping that other's would agree and see it the way you do. But everyone is different, and when you feel so strongly about something, it is hard to stay objective. Even people who doesn't mean to can come off as rude, and even though you don't want to come off as rude, can easily do so when you feel strongly about something. But when people get defensive it only ends up escalating and triggering each other more.

 

Anyways, I am sorry you find it difficult, but objectively (not having seen the pictures you are talking about) I imagine seeing even two people the same age celebrating fathers day, you will just assume its a picture of two parents. I don't think that the "normal population", as you say, react the same way or even know what DDlg is, and people with traumas can be triggered by many things. It's not really possible to avoid all of it Also, I am sure some people that celebrate fathers day in the DDlg community do so to handle traumas of their own, and then extra judgement won't help either. Everyone has their problems, and deal with it best they can. But I am sorry that this seems to be so triggering to you or someone you care about. Personally I think it sounds adorable, and fathers day to me is just a symbol of someone you see as a father figure, which is what DDlg is all about. To each their own i guess

[Guest Karoline_TwilightOfTheGods]

Given what seems to be your stance on the issue, and your defensive nature about it, I can only imagine that something in your own life, or the life of someone important to you, has triggered you or them. I think it is unwise to bring something up here that is such a hot button for you, and possibly others. It will only end hurt you in the end and you'll feel alienated, which is a shame. I understand that this is an important subject for you and that you were possibly hoping that other's would agree and see it the way you do. But everyone is different, and when you feel so strongly about something, it is hard to stay objective. Even people who doesn't mean to can come off as rude, and even though you don't want to come off as rude, can easily do so when you feel strongly about something. But when people get defensive it only ends up escalating and triggering each other more.

 

Anyways, I am sorry you find it difficult, but objectively (not having seen the pictures you are talking about) I imagine seeing even two people the same age celebrating fathers day, you will just assume its a picture of two parents. I don't think that the "normal population", as you say, react the same way or even know what DDlg is, and people with traumas can be triggered by many things. It's not really possible to avoid all of it Also, I am sure some people that celebrate fathers day in the DDlg community do so to handle traumas of their own, and then extra judgement won't help either. Everyone has their problems, and deal with it best they can. But I am sorry that this seems to be so triggering to you or someone you care about. Personally I think it sounds adorable, and fathers day to me is just a symbol of someone you see as a father figure, which is what DDlg is all about. To each their own i guess

 

I really appreciate your comment because well...I don't want to talk about it, but you've got the point

[Daddy's Meg]

Father's day is a terrible day for me. I bottom out and go back and forth between anger and depression. So I instead spend the day celebrating my Daddy. It helps me and it makes my day so much better, I won't apologize for doing something that harms no one.

 

As for tumblr, I only post in the dd/lg tag which is kink. No one should be in there an not expect to see kink related things. Lots of people celebrate mothers day and fathers day for their doms. It's a personal choice.

 

This subject basically comes up every year and the same back and forth goes on. Let's not confuse exposing kink to unwilling people verses a celebration between two(or more) people. Those are two different subjects and it's unfair to lump them.

Edited June 18, 2017 by Daddy's Meg