Past Dom really hurt me and I want to get over it. Help.please.

[Kit Kat]

Hello. My name is Kit and I told someone that I was asexual and he told me that it was ok. We got to know each other for 6 months before he asked to be my Daddy. I said yes thinking that it would be good. A month later, he got mad and told me that my body was his and that he could do whatever he wanted with it. He started to come at me. I couldn't fight back and he hurt me. I still have nightmares and flashbacks. I want to get better. Sorry of this is dark. Edited July 11, 2017 by Kit Kat

[saraisatigeeer]

hi kit, i´m sorry of what happened to you, but this wasn´t your fault, you trusted him and he was just an a**ole and that is not your fault, ypu didm´t knoe that this was going to happen, you know, i´m a victim of sexual and verbal abuse and i´m sure about this, right now you feel terrible but one day you are going to look back and this is just an ugly momento of your life. You are safe Kit, yes, he hurted you but know you need to stand up and look at a mirror and say i´m beautiful and strong and i can keep going with my life, everything is going to get better, trust me, i know how you feel.

 

if you want a friend, i´m here.

[SirDaddy]

Hello Kit Kat, first of all, I'm sorry for what happened. I don't think he understood what it meant to be a "Daddy". It makes me sad thinking about how this experience will bury itself deep and plant seeds of fear and distrust inside you. He was drunk in power. A Daddy makes their little feel safe and protected, not used or in danger. I won't say you got unlucky, but I want you to know that I realy hope you can open up again. Be able to overcome this and stand up stronger than ever.

Kit Kat, sweetie, my advice for you is to first look into yourself. Do you want this? I mean, if he talked you into it, you might just have wanted it because you wanted to please your previous Daddy. If you really do, and you want to continue in this, ask yourself, are you ready? You need to be prepared for this. It will take a while for the wound to heal, but if you face it with courage, I'm sure you can overcome it. If your courage alone is not enough, a good partner can help bear it for you.

I just hope that you don't let that experience put you down, please, Kit Kat. The next time around that you try again, look at things objectively and give your trust slowly, when you believe that your partner is capable of protecting that trust, give it. Layer by layer, piece by piece, until you can completely be open with your partner. A relationship like this needs a strong foundation of trust, but once you are able to truly trust the person, you'll see the world in a diferent way. You'll feel the liberation under your partner's embrace and gaze, you can show your true self and be you without fear because you know you willbe acepted, and when you're doing something wrong, your partner willbe the one to guide you.

Lastly, I wish the best of luck for you, Kit Kat. Good luck! You deserve so much more, you deserve to be loved.

[Kit Kat]

T Edited July 11, 2017 by Kit Kat

[Kit Kat]

Thanks to the both of you! I know he is one of the worse things to happen to anyone, little or not. He hurt me, took my trust and my heart, and crushed it. I know I will get better. Thank you so much!

[SirDaddy]

Mhmm, I can see that you're a good girl, just try to find a hobby while you heal your wound. Exercising, music, arts, try something you haven't tried before. Improve yourself and make him regret treating you in a way you should never treat a girl. Make it as a drive rather than a hurdle. It's hard to look at it that way while the wound is still fresh, but I know you have it in you to be strong enough to do so.

I pray that one day you'll find someone who will hug you so tight that all your broken pieces of your heart fit in back together in the right place.

[Guest LittleBlueLavender]

Hi Kit,

 

I can't say I have any experience with this subject personally, however one thing I do know is that what happened was wrong and was not your fault. There is nothing you could have done differently, so please don't think that you caused this in anyway. You are a beautiful, strong human being and deserve to be treated as such. What happened was horrific and twisted, but you are not. You are pure and loving and brave. You have already proved this to me by seeking help and advise, something that I do know is incredibly hard to do. For that I am proud of you, and it shows me that you are already healing on your very own. Trust in yourself and believe there is good, because there is even if you can't see it straight away. Know it is there.

Edited July 11, 2017 by LittleBlueLavender

[Mikaitaku]

seeking professional help is the best chance you have for getting better, that and time lots of time. I would also suggest reporting it to the law if possible

[TheLittlestPixie]

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

 

I was sexually abused, although it wasn't by a dom and I don't have the gender identity issues to compare to, but I understand how you're feeling. You're going through post traumatic stress disorder. Therapy can help a lot with this, as well as help you identify good partners when you are ready to let yourself open again.

 

It can be hard to get back into any physical aspects of a relationship after this, even something as small as handholding or cuddling seems completely different. When you are ready, you'll find a good dom who will understand your limits and when you need to stop because you're having a flashback or for any other reason. A real dom may refer to your body as 'their's', but they always understand that it actually isn't and anything they do with your body needs to come entirely from your consent.

[Guest OpalNovaPrincess]

I've had similar things happen to me in my childhood (molestation) and as a young teenager (r***); also found out someone I was dating had illegal pictures of underaged girls on his computer.

 

All of these things really messed me up. Even though I'm not asexual I have a HUGE problem trusting men and I just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone. A thing that helped me is talking to therapists and going to group therapy.

 

Group therapy specifically for these types of things.