Daddies who have no structure in their life?

[AstrologyLion]

I'm writing this because I've come across a string of daddies who all have littles but seem to have no structure in their own routine/life. I notice it quite a bit and it makes me wonder how littles feel about it. It doesn't seem like it would be setting a good example for your little if you can't even follow a daily schedule/ your own simple rules.

 

For the daddies out there, do you follow your own rules and try to set a good example for your little?

 

And for the littles out there, is it a turn off when a potential daddy doesn't seem to be able to follow a schedule/simple rules that he gives you to follow?

[Guest SUeB]

i could not call someone or see someone as a Daddy if I had no admiration or respect for him. And a guy like that would get neither of those things from me.

[DavCentral]

So you mention 2 things, structure in a daddy's life, and do they follow their own rules.

 

 

If you were to look at some facts about my life without understanding it beforehand, you might well think I had very little structure.

I own and run multiple companies so my personal structure and routine can seem all over the place.. But that's my concern, I get my adulting done, and enjoy my free time.

 

I do agree a Daddy should be setting an example, and that can happen in many different ways.

 

 

The rules that have existed in my relationship experience, were mostly not for me to follow, per se.

I will always try to set a good example though, and have no problem saying "well I need to do it too, so you can do it at the same time with me" for motivation because this works very well

 

 

I guess you have to be careful what you think structure, routine, and examples are.. Because they can vary heavily from person to person, and peoples needs.

[Gemini26]

For me it wouldn't be a problem if my daddy doesn't follow his own rules. The rules he makes are meant for me, not for him. 

 

He is an example though. When he doesn't clean things up after him, neither would I. So he has to be an example to me, but he doesn't have to follow the rules. 

 

I do need him to have his life together. But that applies on vanilla-boyfriends as well. I also agree with DavCentral. You can have your life together if it seems like a total mess to others. It won't be a problem to me if that is the case. 

 

I hope I cleared somethings up for you, but if that isn't the case, you can ask me, no problem!

[boomslang]

Some people just don't *do* structured routines, and that's all well and good. But a person that's flailing through life or has no desire at all for betterment is not someone I would want a relationship with, daddy or not. Personal standards are important for everyone.

[Princess-P]

Because I dont believe in rules for either party of a relationship I have no opinion on that part.

 

However structure is important. Drive. Passion. Ethics. Not just pertaining to Daddy's but any person I associate with. Someone with no passion and drive, no job, no goals they work their ass off for... Thats just lazy and a huge turn off.

[lacey bunny]

Because I am someone that needs structure, I require that in a significant other, Daddy or not.
For me personally, I don’t expect my Daddy to follow rules he gives ME to follow, as a majority of them do not apply to him. However, I do expect him to keep those I made for him.

As he lets me get away with the occasion sneaking sweets I don’t get upset when he stays up super late. Doesn’t mean he lacks being a good example to me. Just means he understands and allows me to enjoy myself on occasion just as I do for him. When it comes down to it, we’re both adults capable of making our own decisions and we respect that about one another. Of course, there are some rules upon breaking will not be tolerated from either end.

 

Everyone and all relationships are different. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another and that's okay

[Guest Arc]

My Daddy sometimes struggles with structure and routine when his gets bad patches with his depression. But he still tries super hard to do what he can, and it makes me so proud of him. In that case I actually see it as a good example because even though he's struggling he does what he can, and that makes me proud of him. 

 

But it really depends on the situation, and if it works for the couple. There must be a reason they can't follow any structure, and if that reason is just laziness then I personally wouldn't go anywhere near that.

[Seabass]

I have a lot of structure and routine in my life but not necessarily many rules. I always tell my little one (when I have one) that I'm terrible at giving them rules because quite honestly I dont follow rules myself, so how would I make somebody else follow rules? Thats why me and well behaved littles mesh better together. I've had wonderful relationships like this but its all personal preference

[Untwisted]

Setting rules to live by but not sticking to them completely devalues those rules.  I think some people make up rules for the sake of having rules rather than to actually achieve anything, and it's rules like that which are easily allowed to slip.  

Some people are very structured and methodical in the way they lead their lives, others are more spontaneous and unplanned about things.  Neither has to be better, methodical doesn't have to mean slow or boring,  making it up on the fly doesn't have to mean ineffective or inefficient.  Different personalities approach life in different ways.

A methodical person and a spontaneous one will get frustrated with each other quite easily, and may simply be incompatible with each other.

A common theme is that littles need structure, but I'm going to hazard a guess that among littles there are different personalities at play as well.  Some will want and need a lot more structure and rules than others.

I think more importantly, it's about consistency and knowing what to expect.  Setting an expectation but not following it through is the failing.  

If a little is happy and thriving with someone who appears to some to have no structure in place, is it really a problem?
 

[AstrologyLion]

After reading all the replies I feel like I have a better understanding of why some littles feel it is okay for the daddy not to follow the same basic rules that he puts in place for her. Structure is rather important in any relationship or just personal life in general, so I disagree that a person without some structure could flourish. However I don't consider structure to be the opposite of being spontaneous person. I am a very spontaneous person yet I maintain my daily schedule regardless. My opinion on the matter was, if you could never follow rules you set for yourself then it seems rather irresponsible to think you can put rules in place for another person, especially a little.

 

I do agree that every dynamic is different in this community, so there is no one way to do it. Anyways thanks for your replies!!

[Leo_Ascendent]

Are you asking if I have a dedicated schedule for everything in life? The answer would be no, simply because of my job, which isn't a typical 9 to 5, Monday thru Friday job. I can work 2 days in a row, get a day off, then work another 8 days straight, then 2 days off, then work 1 day, etc, so a schedule is not viable for me. I DO however, have rules in place that are to be followed. Do I follow them? No, of course not. My Little has rules that apply to her, and there are rules that apply to me.

[AstrologyLion]

Are you asking if I have a dedicated schedule for everything in life? The answer would be no, simply because of my job, which isn't a typical 9 to 5, Monday thru Friday job. I can work 2 days in a row, get a day off, then work another 8 days straight, then 2 days off, then work 1 day, etc, so a schedule is not viable for me. I DO however, have rules in place that are to be followed. Do I follow them? No, of course not. My Little has rules that apply to her, and there are rules that apply to me.

I really don't mean following the same rules as your little just in life people have rules set for themselves to enforce daily habits. Such as eating a certain amount, brushing your teeth, going to the bathroom before you sleep, etc... It seems kind of point less to give your little the same rules when the daddy can't even follow them himself.

 

I understand though, I also have a hectic Schedule.

[Leo_Ascendent]

I really don't mean following the same rules as your little just in life people have rules set for themselves to enforce daily habits. Such as eating a certain amount, brushing your teeth, going to the bathroom before you sleep, etc... It seems kind of point less to give your little the same rules when the daddy can't even follow them himself.

 

I understand though, I also have a hectic Schedule.

Gotcha, yeah that makes sense.