Are there any littles out there who don't have rules?

[Guest bunnybear11]

One of the most common characteristics in ddlg relationships are rules and punishments, and I was just wondering if there are any littles (in relationships) out there who don't have or don't strictly follow rules.

 

Me and daddy actually have my rules listed out but because we don't live together, we found it that we don't keep track of the times I fail to follow one of my rules, and when I do go to daddy's house I just end up getting however many spankings he feels like giving me.

 

So idk, I was considering finding ways to keep track of my rules, like making a sticker chart or something, but at the same time (as a little) I must say, it feels sooo nice not having rules heheheh.

[meows kohai]

Me and my Daddy don't really have any rules. We live together and honestly I think it would stress me out. I'm too defiant to abide by rules but that's part of why Daddy loves me haha. Plus he's younger than me and I would feel weird letting someone younger than me dictate my life. If there's something I shouldn't do or wont tell him at first, he'll give me spankings and tell me to tell him, though no actual rules. Too princess to listen, anyway pfffffft

[-Elizabeth-]

i don’t have one besides bedtime at 10pm on weeknights, but Daddy doesn’t punish me if i stay up too late. however if i act bratty i do get spankings when Daddy and I see each other.

[Puppy]

My Daddy and I don't have any strict, set in stone rules! We're only a couple months into our relationship, and when things get a tad bit more serious we will start gradually setting down some rules. As of now the rules are pretty basic: don't talk back, be respectful, listen, communicate, don't be a brat (even though that's impossible) and one or two NSFW ones! Whenever any one of those is broken punishment usually follows. Sometimes a rule will be made up on the spot if he sees fit. I say it's his way of being able to get extra spankies in, but who knows, heh.

 

Sometimes he'll tell me, "hey, tomorrow you need to get out of bed okay?" And that's kinddddd of a rule. I don't get punished for not getting out of bed, because it's mainly do to depression, but it's also that small amount of structure that pushes me to listen!

 

I like not having a lot of rules. I feel like if we had a ton of rules and guidelines things would be a lot more stressful for both of us. I also enjoy the spontaneity out of not really knowing if I'm breaking a rule or not, and ending up getting punished for it later!  

[Lilpuppy]

I dont have any rules my daddy and i dont live together and he's a soft daddy.and i'm not much of a brat either. We didnt set any rules for me to follow bc i obeys his order very well. However i keep ask for spankings tho ahahahaha i confessed if i ate too much candies or i skip a meal. My daddy is So kind he always pampers me a lot wif treatss

[Magpies]

Me, currently.
My current sir is long distance and we're both trying to sort out some real life stuff, so we don't fully indulge in the dynamic just yet.

 

Besides, I'm actually rather independent, and if there were rules I didn't approve of, I wouldn't follow them anyways.

Granted, I wouldn't mind having some that I actually need once we get to that point. Not getting cartoons before bed if I forget to brush my teeth might actually help me remember to do that.
...I'm going to suggest that to him tonight. Thanks thread!

[Guest Andyy95]

Well first of all spankings aren't punishments, they're funishments. Let's be realistic there's actually no littles that are sexual who consider spankings as a bad thing xD ... If you have rules they should be something that helps the lil in her everyday life and helps her grow as a person, as for punishments, they should not be spankings imo , cause that's like giving candy to a kid that misbehaves. While spankings are important to a sub as a way to keep her balaced and all, it shouldn't be the only punishment, but is a must in playtimes. 

 

Anyway, ik that that wasn't the question here , just put out my thoughts on the matter

[Tinka]

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Edited May 13, 2018 by Tiny_Tina

[Khajiit_trash]

Daddy has wrote some rules for me but is worried about giving them to me, I would really like them, but our relationship is working fine without them. Edited November 19, 2017 by Khajiit_trash

[LittleKitten13]

When I'm little, Papa doesn't really have rules for me, but he does want me to make sure to eat a decent meal every night.  I don't have an eating disorder, but sometimes, if I'm really busy, I get distracted, or there's a change in what usually happens for meals, I forget to eat, and he doesn't like that.

However, when I'm the one in charge, he isn't allowed to contradict me when I say he's handsome or cute or sexy.

[Guest SeattlesLilPumpkin]

I don't have rules currently. We did have a set printed out about a half a year ago but I became depressed and my little side "went away" for a bit as depression consumed my soul. I want to make some new ones up that work better for our current living situation but I'm lazy. (also why I joined this site/ for inspo) Also I wish my Daddy Dom would make the rules but he knows less about DDLG than me. sigh. 

[Guest SUeB]

Yes we have rules, and i stick to them very closely! There is no excuse for forgetting them, as He wrote them out and they are saved to my phone. To be honest though, i don't need to be reminded, as i know them very well. We aren't long distance as such, but we mostly only spend weekends together. His rules are enforced,and i respect Him for that. Even when we are not together, i tell Him immediately if i in some way didn't follow one. Never on purpose, but things happen out of my choice sometimes. What's the point of rules that are ignored? i need the stability that His structure and discipline give me, and obeying Him is absolutely paramount to me.

[Guest bunnybear11]

Also I wish my Daddy Dom would make the rules but he knows less about DDLG than me. sigh.

 

you two could sit down and make ur rules together, that's always fun

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

Assuming rules are the only basis for this relationship is a common misconception of ddgl, or general caregiver type of relationships.

It is based on the delegation of responsibility and power, and rules are the tools some use to that end.

Me and my little we have a relationship based on a much stronger sense of security and support than discipline and power play. She is free to decide what she does when she wants, but she relies on me for advice, decision making and enforce limits not because I tell her she has to, but because she feels secure and protected enough to leave many decisions for me to make on how to do things. As I am a 24/7, that means much more than just while we are together.

Besides the usual "time to get out of the bed" sort of thing, I barely never have to be authoritative with her to get her to do as I want her to.

[sullenDaddybones]

Problem is enforcing them, practicing what you preach, maintaining a healthy relationship with the Little in order for the respect that they have for you remains enough that the rules and your words hold true weight and meaning. 

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

Idk exactly what is the difficulty about that. But that may be, again, because I am a teacher and I am used to put rules in place which are not actually dictatorial, but mostly guidelines which I know how to kindly make them work.

But still, it is all about experience. You cant really expect people will read a guide, know what the acronyms mean and what the words say, and Presto!, they become perfect Doms.

Edited November 23, 2017 by KorgFoehammer

[Guest SUeB]

Assuming rules are the only basis for this relationship is a common misconception of ddgl, or general caregiver type of relationships.

It is based on the delegation of responsibility and power, and rules are the tools some use to that end.

Me and my little we have a relationship based on a much stronger sense of security and support than discipline and power play. She is free to decide what she does when she wants, but she relies on me for advice, decision making and enforce limits not because I tell her she has to, but because she feels secure and protected enough to leave many decisions for me to make on how to do things. As I am a 24/7, that means much more than just while we are together.

Besides the usual "time to get out of the bed" sort of thing, I barely never have to be authoritative with her to get her to do as I want her to.

Are you assuming to suggest that those that like to use rules and discipline have much less security and support than you, simply because you don't?

Our relationship is built on a massive base of those two things, as well as lots of other things too. He is not just my Daddy and Master, He is my partner, my love and my companion for life. Is our relationship less valid and weaker than yours? Hell no.

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

Are you assuming to suggest that those that like to use rules and discipline have much less security and support than you, simply because you don't?

Our relationship is built on a massive base of those two things, as well as lots of other things too. He is not just my Daddy and Master, He is my partner, my love and my companion for life. Is our relationship less valid and weaker than yours? Hell no.

Why people always have this kinds of mindsets ? Always someone says "there is another way", they hear "my way is better" ?

I just said that you cant assume that a broad concept as ddlg is resumed in a certain way of doing things, because it is not.

There are many littles who feel loved and secure by a strict dad who make clear cut rules and disciplines his little in that manner, as much as it happens in real life families. But some do not enjoy that, and rebel, and end up not happy.

What I am saying is that it is not the only way, and no one is to blame by not abiding to sets of fixed rules, which is a normal thing to happen.

[Guest SUeB]

No it's absolutely not the only way, as has been shown by all of the responses on this very thread. Some have rules, some don't. There is no "one twue way"

Its just that your post sounded very condescending. Very much that you were looking down on those of us who feel that desire for discipline. That you had a better relationship. If i mistook your tone and your intention, my apologies.

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

No it's absolutely not the only way, as has been shown by all of the responses on this very thread. Some have rules, some don't. There is no "one twue way"

Its just that your post sounded very condescending. Very much that you were looking down on those of us who feel that desire for discipline. That you had a better relationship. If i mistook your tone and your intention, my apologies.

No problem. As I said before, even if I went to college in an English Speaking country, it is still my second language, so I use it as direct and as to the point as possible. Maybe that leaves that impression.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

ddlg isn't a direct power exchange for me, it can be morphed into that but it can still go both ways. I feel perfectly capable of having Daddy wrapped around my little finger and even going into little dominatrix mode.

 

My involvement in ddlg is episodic in nature. There are some consistencies (I almost always demand to be called princess, I almost always struggle with sharing as a concept, etc...) but every rule is created within the bounds of a scene and put neatly on the shelf of memories when it's over, sometimes to be revisited in a future scene. 

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

From the standpoint of someone who defines somethings as they please and not as what it is used to define, you can say whatever you want about anything and consider yourself right, but that is breaking the consistency of the dialogue and the consistency of ideas. It really doesnt matter much in the practical sense, but it is fundamental do keep a discussions about a topic.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

From the standpoint of someone who defines somethings as they please and not as what it is used to define, you can say whatever you want about anything and consider yourself right, but that is breaking the consistency of the dialogue and the consistency of ideas. It really doesnt matter much in the practical sense, but it is fundamental do keep a discussions about a topic.

Maybe I should have used the more open abbreviation cgl, instead of ddlg, otherwise I'm satisfied with my post

It does pertain to the topic, I'm a little who doesn't have rules. The entirety of my post is focused on my relationship with rules as a little within the cgl dynamic.

Feel free to pm if you want to debate the fundamental ideas behind cgl dynamics, I'm all about a solid debate. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be on topic to do so here 

[Guest KorgFoehammer]

Actually, yes, it has to do with the topic, as all the most reputable sources of BDSM define ddlg outside de spectrum of Ageplay or ABDL, and as a subtype of D/s dynamic, inside de cgl branch, which among other things do not support the strict code of dominance and discipline. It is a variant of D/s relation that is based on trust and deliverance, in which a little surrenders hers (or his) care to a Dominant that in this case, by simple matter of style, is called Dominant daddy, given the characteristics of the dynamic. There are other styles of cgl, other styles of D/s, but, the "switch" idea do not really work combined with the ddlg dynamic, as it can work in other D/s relationships.

It is arguable weather a ddgl relationship can be just a scene like other D/s dynamics, given the importance it takes to really be a ddlg relationship the trust, the contact, the care, the knowledge. A single "scene" of ddlg would not be ddlg by that reasoning, but just a regular D/s combined with ageplay.

That is pertaining to the topic, which speaks of a fundamental of ddlg, the rules, which is used to breach that exact problem when you cant be or dedicate yourself 24/7 for your little. That is what I meant at first, which is the fact that as in my case I am able to be always in touch and caring about my little, I dont need to give her strict rules because I am always there to judge on spot what to do. And inside the caring and trusting nature of ddlg dynamic, there will be lots of variances given the circumstances, but the fundamental part of a ddlg more than many D/s relations is the commitment.

Many many people mix ddlg with ageplay, which is what you mentioned in your description. The fact that people usually call little an ageplayer and the sub in a ddlg relation makes it hard to discern both. Being, to use your words, almost always demand to be called princess, I almost always struggle with sharing as a concept, etc..., is ageplay, not ddlg. And no respectable Dominant Dad would leave his little "make him her bitch" so to speak, because that goes directly against the ddlg principle, and the cgl whole idea. And there we get on topic again, rules are there for that precise reason, it is a form of preventing exactly that.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

Sounds like a one true way speech to me. 

 

Listen, I'm assuming I couldn't just plop anyone who identified with your definition of "little girl" in your partners place, so it goes to show that categorizing only goes so far. Every dynamic is unique because the people involved are different.

 

Kink is all just whatever excites you, it's great that bdsm has some terminology and concepts. One of those definitions fits you, that's awesome. But we also have the rest of language to express our individual approach/ ideas/ concepts. Those reputable sources just trace back to a few people talking about this really fun thing they've been doing in bed or 24/7 or whatnot. 

 

I'm not really an age-player, I just generally get into little space. Sometimes (ha, almost always) I'm a demanding little. Sometimes my caregiver's way of giving care is service-oriented. Sometimes I've made Daddies "my bitch." And they are absolutely worthy of respect.