How to get my little to stop saying No. Need help bad!

[Guest Aypex]

I have been dating my Little for almost 4 months now. When i tell her she needs to eat something its "no" when i say okay its shower time she says "no". Tell her its time for bed its "No" we will go on for 5 to 10 mins and she will still say "No". im pretty new to DDLG only been doing it for about 4 months as well. I have a hard time finding a stern voice. She is very sensitive so i try not to yell. I will be like okay you are going to go to bed earlier now bc of this. she just doesnt care. Yea i am pretty bad at following up but thats bc i know it will be another "No" battle. I Love her her very much. But i need to figure this part out, she tells me to put my foot down more, be more Authoritative but it is hard when all she says is no. maybe i am doing something wrong or am just over thinking it. If you have any tips Please let me know, It will help very much also i dont know if it will up but her Little age is "5" and her real age is "21". 

[Guest SUeB]

So you're not a match, unfortunately. You want an obedient little, she wants to be a brat. And yelling is never ok. Ever. Not just in this type of relationship, but in any.

[Alaskan Daddy]

I think every daddy has been where you have been. You can be caring and stern at the same time. Your little is telling you that you are in charge. You cannot back down, She is giving you the power and you need to grab the power and use it. She wants that from you. Once I realized this, I knew what I must do.

I told my little this: "I will push you and will not back down unless you tell me I am pushing too hard".  If she said 'no' I would hold her and ask her why. If she was testing me then I would give her once more chance to follow the rule. Then I would start with punishments something small like writing 5 lines. Then I would increase it by 5 lines until she followed the rule. I would be stern and not back down. I also refused to argue with her about it. 

I hope this helps.

[Guest DaddyDownUnder]

You need to explain to her that what you're asking her to do, is for her benefit. Things like sleeping and eating are essential, and you're not going to be with someone and care for them, if they're not going to listen to you and care for themselves. 

I don't think even punishments are necessarily the answer for these examples. If someone is refusing to eat, making them write lines isn't going to provide them nutritional benefits is it? 

Brattiness can be cute and fine in certain situations, but this certainly isn't one of them. 

[Guest SUeB]

 

Brattiness can be cute and fine in certain situations, but this certainly isn't one of them.

Only for Daddies that like that behavior. Mine would not tolerate it, or find it in the slightest bit cute, in ANY situation. He would not be with a brat, end of story.

[Littlest_Bee]

Well, if her little age is 5 she might simply emulate the behaviour of a child that age where a "phase of defiance" is seen as typical. Or she might be testing you deliberately.

She already told you that she wants you to put your foot down. So maybe she's angling for punishments.

 

I guess you could try to read parenting guides - a lot of them would simply tell you that you shouldn't back down but find a way to achieve cooperation and see how to tweak the tips so it works for your situation. I think telling her why your decision is for her benefit is a good way to start. Maybe ask her if she understands why she needs to eat or shower or whatever you want her to do. Real five year olds often switch between being proud how big they already are and wanting to be babied. I don't know if she feels similar but she definitely can be reasoned with and it's possible to be stern and gentle at the same time. Maybe an achievement chart to keep track of her behaviour could help, I guess?

You should consider that you might be able to get her to become less defiant once it's clear that you won't let yourself be pushed over by her defiance but she probably won't ever be completely obedient and will continue pushing you. If that's something you find exhausting instead of a fun challenge then you might consider that you two aren't compatible as SUeB already suggested.

[Wolfycheeks]

She's testing you. She wants you to be stern with her. It's so obvious.. I can't believe you don't notice that lol.

[Lilkitten12]

I think you should both have an adult conversation about it and you should say to her that if she wants to be in this relationship with you she needs to put some effort in as well. The dynamic is fine with rules and punishments, brattiness, and whatever but at the end of the day if she is going to fight you on every single thing you say that just sounds exhausting.

I do agree with what everyone said too where you need to be able to be stern but she is a grown woman and if she isn't somewhat willing to hold up her end of the bargain you can't really "force" her to do anything. You should ask her why she always says no but also let her know how it's wearing you down and defeating you- you need support too.

But that's just my take on it - I understand others may feel differently

[Guest SUeB]

I think you should both have an adult conversation about it and you should say to her that if she wants to be in this relationship with you she needs to put some effort in as well. The dynamic is fine with rules and punishments, brattiness, and whatever but at the end of the day if she is going to fight you on every single thing you say that just sounds exhausting.

I do agree with what everyone said too where you need to be able to be stern but she is a grown woman and if she isn't somewhat willing to hold up her end of the bargain you can't really "force" her to do anything. You should ask her why she always says no but also let her know how it's wearing you down and defeating you- you need support too.

But that's just my take on it - I understand others may feel differently

Agreed. So many people seem to forget that we are talking about adults in these situations. She isn't a child.

[Doodlbug]

I think, and maybe it's just me, but simply talking before engaging in such an intimate relationship kind of helps to prevent such problems..

Like, write a list of hard limits, and safewords, things you like, things you don't like, things you want, things you can live (and love) without, so on so on. It can help prevent something like this from happening, or help you understand why she acts the way she does. But I kind of agree with SUeB.. it really does sound like you both want and expect different things from one another..

Try and talk to her seriously, discuss with her what she is aiming for when she says 'no'. Does she really mean it? Or does she want you to punish her? Does she want you to be more stern, more dominant? It sounds like the last. DDLG relationships, even though they can seem less dangerous than other BDSM RS's, can go a wrong way if taken lightly, and do damage. You should always have that in mind, as a Dom, and as a Sub as well..

 

Really hope you both can work this out!

XOXO