Honest Advice For A Little

[littlepigletinabarn]

Hi I am a little and have been for a long time. I want to say I've found the perfect daddy but big me is having doubts. 

I know I'm clingy, needy, and shy. I want and long for my daddy when he is working or away. I love him with everything in me but it doesn't seem like he does the same for me. For example, I will message him wanting to roleplay because I usually slip into that imagining being with him. He will cut me short and same he doesn't feel like doing it. I will message him on anniversaries saying I loved him and he would reply with, "I love you, but I'm trying to sleep." It breaks my heart. The most recent one is I asked if he liked being my daddy and he said sometimes. He says it annoys him when I act childish and needy. I can't help it ... I then asked if there was any good thing about being my daddy and he replied with, "idk." Then "The only thing I get as a daddy is sex and that's pretty much it." 

 

As a little am I doing anything wrong by wanting to roleplay visiting my daddy and coloring or watching a movie? Do daddies get annoyed of their littles? I always make plans to see him but a good portion of the time he is tired, or went out with a friend, or the time is too close to work. I just want a loving daddy but I feel like I don't even have one.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

I can't know for sure, but from where I'm sitting, I just don't think this is his thing?

"The only thing I get as a daddy is sex and that's pretty much it" so.... he doesn't like being a nonsexual daddy. He might not even be into it sexually. Tolerating kink as a means to an end is... not kinky. Probably going to cause some strain over time. You'll have to open a discussion on what he actually likes to be sure. It's pretty safe to rule out nonsexual ddlg play as an interest of his.

 

A partner initiating roleplay while I'm at work could annoy me. And I actually enjoy this stuff. People have successfully initiated things like that with me, but it really depends on what's going on. Or sometimes it's not annoying at all, but I can't be on my phone at that particular moment. And if you message me while I'm sleeping/falling asleep and wake me up? Urgh. "I love you, but I'm trying to sleep" sounds like a pretty patient response to me.

 

This forum glorifies being clingy. I understand the appeal, I don't think it's a 'bad' thing as long as it comes from a secure, mutually beneficial place, but I have to say, this is the only place I've seen it glorified. It is not unusual to prefer more independence in the real world. If there is anything salvageable about this dynamic you need to draw some boundaries (no initiating roleplay through texting, no texting at unreasonable hours, or maybe restricting the play to a few hours at a time because that's all your partner might be up for)

 

I have a feeling he does love you, you just want love expressed through ddlg and this isn't where you're going to get it. Are you willing to be in a vanilla relationship with this guy? Are you willing to restrict ddlg to just a bedroom activity if that's all he's open to? 

 

You might need to decide what will make you happiest and the long run.

[xpaciprincesss]

May I ask how long have you been together? Has he always acted this way?

From what you say, it seems he's into it for the "Daddy kink" and not precisely for the Caregiver/little dynamic.

 

Littles are usually clingy and needy, and most Daddies don't mind, but there are those who do.

I would say you're not doing anything wrong, as I'm clingy and look for those things as well, but that's something you should work out with him.

 

I think you two need to sit down and have a serious talk.

You need to talk about both yours and his expectations, what you want from the relationship, what are your limits, the boundaries of your relationship, if there's a time to play, act certain way, talk or be together.

 

I always say communication is super important, you have to tell him how it makes you feel, also listen what he has to say and try to work it out from there and try to figure out what is going to make you feel better in the long run. Are you willing to sacrifice this and have a more vanilla relationship with him? Is he willing to do something about this to make you happier? Maybe there's a middle ground you can reach? 

[neko]

I don't know what advice you need since you're obviously not happy in this relationship. I get that having a daddy is great but not if he doesn't want to be your daddy, which he clearly doesn't.

[Guest Loki]

I agree with the others, but I want to add if your unhappy and the relationship is not giving you want you need, and he’s not getting what he needs and is not happy, then it’s time to be blunt.

 

He does not want to be your Daddy, neither of your are happy, and the relationship has been over for some time.

 

I don’t think he’s using you so much as you both won’t accept that it’s over. Sometimes love blinds us.

Edited January 9, 2018 by Guest

[trvppydxddy]

It sounds to me like he's just not into it. He doesn't really want to be a daddy in general, I don't think its you. As a daddy dom myself, I love when my little one goes into littlespace and a lot of times I push her into it when she feels sad or whatever to help her feel better. It doesn't get annoying either, it's cute and you're not doing anything wrong by wanting to roleplay those things. 

 

I would suggest that maybe you have a long talk with him when you're not in littlespace that way you can both come to a solution. Ask him if he's really into the ddlg dynamic and understand that if he isn't, there's nothing you can really do. If he's not into it, you can't make him be and if he's not, then I think you need to either figure out what you want more: to be with him or to have a daddy dom. However, if he's not into it, then maybe you can suggest getting a platonic caregiver to take care of you when you do get into little space, just be careful with your approach because it is a touchy subject for some. 

 

Regardless, just talk to him, tell him how you feel. If he really cares about you and loves you, he'll listen, try to understand, and try to work things out to benefit both of you. I hope this helps and that everything goes smoothly I'm sorry you have to be in this situation in the first place.

Edited January 11, 2018 by trvppydxddy

[Guest SUeB]

Simple answer. You are not compatible. The daddy thing is a bedroom thing only for him. It's not that simple for you. You just don't match up. And the most important thing here is the fact he doesn't like your little side. That doesn't make him a bad person, just not the right one for you.

[Guest Ignea]

I think 1+1=2  , just thats how it should be in al good relation , yours however is not like that ,  its a onewaystreet and not a twoway.

 

Nuff been said here and i agree that your not compatible, its a onesided relation and that wil never work. I dont like to say it but i even think a serious talk doesnt gonna cut it.If i were in youre shoes i would end it

But i am not and its your life/decission. Just remeber you can invest all you want to , but if you look deep down inside you know the answer. Your true to your "Daddy", maybe now be true to yourself

[Guest bunnybear11]

Wow I'm so so sorry, no little should have to go through this, n I totally understand ur point of view bc I'm super dependent of my daddy and loving myself, but if my daddy ever treated me like that and said those things to me it would break my heart.

 

One thing is to be busy or tired because of work n stuff, but another is to blatantly blow off someone like that, especially a little, because ddlg relationships r usually supet intense, and that can lead us littles to feel things more deeply, and to be more sensible.

 

Like said above, it honestly sounds like he isn't happy in an ldr relationship, and you two should definitely talk about this, and even consider of its worth staying together, because if you're giving all you've got and he isn't, then what's the point. Relationships are about making compromises.

 

Again, I am so sorry, I hope things work out :c with or without him.

[Chris688]

First of all, Littles cannot do anything wrong. That's why they are Littles. If they do things not like they should do, it's daddys part to make everything ok and safe.

It's good that you love your daddy and you should do it. It feels like you don't get that emotions back you need. Maybe he's a bit too confident with you.

My suggestion is, and you can refer to your Littles role, that you feel sad and unhappy and you don't feel him like you should.

I think a conversation makes it clearer, whatever the result will be then.

Good luck and best wishes!

[plumflower]

Wow, it seems like we are very similiar. I am clingy as FRIDAY (I cannot cuss as per Daddy's rule). But the truth is i know exactly what you are talking about, love. As his little I want to spend each breathing moment with him and when he can't i feel like he doesn't want me anymore.  Sometimes, it gets as bad as me thinking that Daddy is out there cheating on me. Yes, i'm that bad.

 

And Daddy is good to me. It annoys him. Of course it annoys him after a long day of work when he's so tired and he just wants to come home and sleep with me on call. We don't live together and so we spend a lot of time on Skype call.  Little me will cry when Daddy does that and I will hold a grudge and blame Daddy saying he doesn't care. Big me, who little me calls Momma or Admin (because I admin a roleplaying site) will have to step in and remember that Daddy needs to work to pay his bills and that he's only human and he needs his time too.

 

I have lots of folks, my roleplay community, and friends that I can talk to if i cannot get a grip of myself and the number one thing they all remind me of is that i need to pay attention to his actions and his words. i don't really know the dynamic of your relationship with your Daddy but i hope that it's as good as me and mine.

 

Sometimes, Daddy just doesn't feel like doing something. My Daddy cuts me off all the time. If it hurts when your Daddy does it one too many time, it's okay to say Hey Daddy, i don't like it when you do this because it hurts my feelings and it makes me feel like this. A good Daddy will listen. if he's wrong he will apologize. Heck my Daddy and i just had one of those moments like maybe 45 minutes to an hour ago. I understand now that how I took Daddy dismissing me was not his intention but it still hurt me and I didn't tell him it in my little voice. I told him in my big voice, it's how we extinguished the intensity of how hurt I am.

 

The thing is no matter how many times Daddy cuts me off or i misinterpret him, no matter how clingy and needy I am, he actually shows me that he wants and loves me.  I KNOW I have trust issues and I know I'm insecure (hence the neediness and the overwhelming need for affirmation) Daddy shows me how he feels by immediately calling or texting when he can. He says i'm sorry if he couldn't do something he promised he would. He says we'll see instead of I promise if he can't actually guarantee it.  every night we talk before bed. We sleep on Skype call. When we can we play games on PS4 or he plays and i watch, we watch movies and anime together. He will ask me what I want to do. And Daddy punishes when I step out of line too much.

 

Have you told him you are needy and why that may be?  If not talk to him. Daddies are very good at understanding.. Mine knows why I am and he tries his best to actively help me improve. For me, because i have work and my site, I can't just not do anything (and I have done that because I missed Daddy like freaking heck-- I have gone without eating) I have told him one text even if it's just I'm busy right now baby helps.

 

Before anything, talk to your Daddy. If he cares he will listen and change his ways.....

 

 

I went back and reread what you wrote to my Daddy and i realized something... get out. He's not the Daddy you want. Being a Daddy isn't about just sex.  My previous Daddy was like that and he had me believing that we would give me my perfect date only to turn around and tell me the very next day he found someone and they sparked over my perfect date.  Like i said before no matter how needy you are a good Daddy will listen and quite frankly he sounds like a butt.