Telling my SO about my Little side.

[DarlingMary]

I'm seriously thinking about having a talk with my SO about all this and I'm so scared. What if he decides he doesn't want me because of it? What if he leaves me? I don't think I can handle that. Has anyone else had this kind of situation happen to them? Do you have any advice? I'd love to hear it.

[princesstara]

DarlingMary -

 

Yes, yes, yes. I've just told my SO about LS within the last month or so, after hinting at it for almost a year. He's a really laid back kind of guy (super open about everything, flexible, understanding), we've had many discussions on fetishes (he basically told me he was into any fetish) and whatnot, so I kind of knew he would be okay with it, but I was still petrified. I told him in one of our earliest conversations about fetishes that I was into DDLG, but I didn't explain what all it entailed...until just recently. I was scared that he was going to leave me or tell me that I couldn't LS anymore...so I actually waited until after he had bought a ring and proposed to me - which was probably a bad idea on my part, but still. It wasn't something I wanted to come out with 3 months into dating and be like, well, you know, I do this thing...

 

Anyways, I don't really have any sort of advice other than to feel him/her out before you tell them. And...if you tell them and they leave...well, it wasn't meant to be right?

 

My biggest worry with my situation was that he was incredibly submissive, and had been the entire time we were together. But he told me recently, he likes the more dominant side because it helps his depression.

 

-pt

[Guest Arc]

What if he decides he doesn't want me because of it?

If he is unable to tell that you're still the exact same person that you've always been, then that's on him. Learning a new side of a person doesn't make them an entirely new person. People either love you for who you are and all that you are, or they don't love you. You can't pick and choose sides of a person that you love. Well... you can, but I don't see the point in conditional love. "I love you but only when you are X" would be a deal breaker for me. Accept me as I am or go away so I can find someone who does. 

 

What if he leaves me?

Then you move on. You get on with life. You surround yourself by people who love and accept you regardless of anything and you be happy. You grieve and then move on. You don't waste excess time thinking about someone who didn't accept you for who you are. 

 

Do you have any advice? I'd love to hear it.

​Be yourself. Be confident. Accept and love who you are and don't give anyone who doesn't the time of day. This is a part of who you are and if people can't see that then you need to seriously think about if they're worth it. 

Edited March 4, 2018 by ArcOfInfinity

[Petitchat]

Hi, so I met my boyfriend (daddy-in-training ) ) on a video game and our relationship started up pretty much for vanilla sex. As we got to know each other better, we found we really likes each other and decided to be together for real( he managed to convince me). At this point I had discovered DDLG for a few months and it was revolutionary for me. I could finally put a word on my feelings and know that I was not alone. I really hesitated to talk to him about it, I figured I would be little on my own and hide it a bit so as not to scare him (cant hide it completely, I mean there are a lot of aspects we can't hide x) ). As we got more serious, I began to really trust him and started to introduce BDSM first and he didn't judge me at all. He was very open-minded and willing to try everything I threw at him ^^.

 

Seeing how little he would judge me, I just decided to be honest with him and explain DDLG. I explained everything, what it was, and why it was important to me and how it made me feel. I think he was a bit weirded out at first because he didn't know about it but he was very curious and as I explained it in relation to me, he understood how important it was for me and he was very accepting. I'm very submissive so it was easy to link my behaviour to it and he understood. He actually felt very flattered that I shared such an important part of him with him because it showed how much I trustes him . And then we fell in love and he was really willing to try being a daddy to me (though we have our ups-and-downs, we are planning to live together now)

 

I told you my (too long, sorry) story because I wanted to show that I tried repressing it because I was scared of being judged and it didn't work, because I need this. So the only choice was to talk to him about it, and I went about it by explaining everything so there would be no misunderstanding and he would understand the importance. I was scared he wouldn't really understand but ultimately, it would have meant we were not meant for each other despite how much it would have hurt. I'd rather break up and suffer for a bit than stay with someone and be miserable for a long time. There wasn't really much of a choice. It was even him who insisted that I must not repressed myself because I needed it and he didn't want me to feel bad with him, that I just needed to give him time to get used to it.

 

If he really loves you and wants you, he'll at least make the effort to understand it and accept you. He doesn't HAVE to like it. Like, he's not obligated to participate and everything just because you are into something, and I personally was okay with being a little on my own and my boyfriend not being my daddy, as long as I didn't have to hide it (that part is up to you, I know some people here really need a daddy for their little side). But he HAS to respect you and who you are. If he judges you and reacts badly, I know it'll hurt, but you'll be better off without him, that's for sure. Good luck and believe in yourself and your right to happiness   (edit: can't spell xD )

Edited March 5, 2018 by Petitchat

[Guest SamiBubbles]

Erm what’s a SO ?

[Guest pandapoo]

Erm what’s a SO ?

Significant Other

[Guest SamiBubbles]

Significant Other

 

Ohhh

[DarlingMary]

Update: 

 

Thanks to everyone who dropped me a line and gave me their advice. I really appreciate it.

 

My SO came over last night so we could sleep together - actually sleep, no funny business here lol - and I brought up the topic of DDLG. He admitted that he already kinda knew that I had been thinking about it and could see it in me, so he wasn't very surprised, nor did he freak out as I was so afraid of him doing. We've both decided to talk on the subject a bit more, but he has said that for me, he would be willing to give this all a try.

*Fingers crossed*

I do hope that it works out, but I've already decided that even if it doesn't, I'm not going to leave him to find a Daddy. I'll stay with him until he no longer wants me, or the world blows over, whichever comes first. We didn't build our relationship upon this and I will want to be with him either way. 

 

Thank you again for all your advice! 

XOXO

~DarlingMary

[Guest PotBaby]

I am really happy that everything went well for you, i have been little for about 2 or so years, and i recently told my Husband that i am. I was so scared about the same things you were, but he was so open and accepting of it because it helps me (i have mental health issues) and it gives him more dominance. he gets to feel helpful and know that he is doing what he can for me.

[Princess Tati]

I tried telling my boyfriend but i chickened out and ended uo sugar coating it.... a lot. Ugh

[LilMidPrincess]

I agree with everyone and he should already know somethings up if you have a submissive nature, you mau juat ease his mind and help him discover just what it might be about you that he can't seem to grasp on to. Hehe. Go Nike And Just Do It!!! Edited April 3, 2018 by GodsDaughter