Jump to content
DDlg Forum & Community Welcome home !

Littles with "Daddy Issues"


Recommended Posts

Posted

I can 100% state that my being a little has absolutely nothing to do with Daddy issues or parental issues. We're parents were very loving as a child and I continue to have a close relationship with my mom as my dad passed away a few years ago.

For me my little side has everything to do with reducing stress. I work in a job where I am relied on to solve the "unsolvable" issues. Being little gives me time where I don't need to be the one everyone is looking to for solutions.

  • Like 1
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted
On 4/10/2018 at 8:43 AM, Lola Step said:

I've been apart of this lifestyle for about 3 years, although even before I discovered I was a little I would vehemently defend DDLG against people who would try to pass it off as simply "Daddy Issues". That is until about a year ago when out of the blue I realized - *I* had daddy issues! I'd never made the connection before between the DDLG stereotype and the issues I had with my father, but put simply- at best we have a love hate relationship, at worst he is emotionally and verbally abusive, manipulative, passive agressive, controlling, the list goes on. One time I accidentally dipped a sugar packet into a cup of coffee and a 10 minute tirade ensued about how I couldn't do anything right.....anyway I was just wondering if there were any littles out there who really DO have "Daddy issues"? :/

I certainly do. I even got entire family issues not dedicated to the daddy ones alone lmao sad but true. My family never felt like a family.

Posted

I guess I can kinda relate....when I was younger (an infant) my mom gave me to my grandma because she was struggling at the time, and my grandma ended up filing and getting granted full guardianship of me. My grandma has always been a piece of crap to my mom and uncle, but for some reason she thought my grandma changed. Nope, instead she abused me, neglected me, starved me, diaper-punished me (I think that's where my dl comes from) did the absolute worst things you could do to a child that's not sexual or enough to put them in a hospital, then at 11 I was "too much for her to handle" and she shipped me off to mental health institutions. I stayed in them until I was 17, when after my dad (who didn't see me since I was 2) finally found out where I was and got me out. Never been to middle or high school except my senior year, and I just graduated in April 2022 (sad yay). Throughout my entire life , I was only in public school for 3 years. When I was with my grandma, I didn't get to be a child, I was always looking around the corner, worried if I burped the wrong way I'd get a whooping (with a belt till my bottom bled, did that once cause I peed the bed) or something thrown at me or yelled at or slapped. Also, she abused me for wetting the bed, which is why I've struggled with bed wetting for my whole life off and on. I think I have more of parental-figure issues, and the reason I'm a ab is because it's the best way I can cope with the trauma I have from my grandma, as well as trying to replace that feeling of childish innocence I didn't get to have when I should've. The reason I'm dl is because my grandma would lock me in a room and diaper me, and ig my brain grew comfortable with me wearing a diaper, I don't fully understand it but it's just the way it is. 

Posted
11 hours ago, wittleboiDL04 said:

I guess I can kinda relate....when I was younger (an infant) my mom gave me to my grandma because she was struggling at the time, and my grandma ended up filing and getting granted full guardianship of me. My grandma has always been a piece of crap to my mom and uncle, but for some reason she thought my grandma changed. Nope, instead she abused me, neglected me, starved me, diaper-punished me (I think that's where my dl comes from) did the absolute worst things you could do to a child that's not sexual or enough to put them in a hospital, then at 11 I was "too much for her to handle" and she shipped me off to mental health institutions. I stayed in them until I was 17, when after my dad (who didn't see me since I was 2) finally found out where I was and got me out. Never been to middle or high school except my senior year, and I just graduated in April 2022 (sad yay). Throughout my entire life , I was only in public school for 3 years. When I was with my grandma, I didn't get to be a child, I was always looking around the corner, worried if I burped the wrong way I'd get a whooping (with a belt till my bottom bled, did that once cause I peed the bed) or something thrown at me or yelled at or slapped. Also, she abused me for wetting the bed, which is why I've struggled with bed wetting for my whole life off and on. I think I have more of parental-figure issues, and the reason I'm a ab is because it's the best way I can cope with the trauma I have from my grandma, as well as trying to replace that feeling of childish innocence I didn't get to have when I should've. The reason I'm dl is because my grandma would lock me in a room and diaper me, and ig my brain grew comfortable with me wearing a diaper, I don't fully understand it but it's just the way it is. 

That is so awful and I am sorry that the people who were supposed to love you and care for you failed you in such unimaginable ways. 

  • Thanks 1
Posted
On 8/28/2022 at 3:20 AM, Vampiress said:

That is so awful and I am sorry that the people who were supposed to love you and care for you failed you in such unimaginable ways. 

Thanks u for the sympathy......I mean it sucks, and when I think about it it really takes me to a deep dark place I really don't like, but I mean that's just the way it is ig. Wish I was more fortunate, but oh well. Can't even sleep right at night (unless I have a daddi or big bubbi that's holding mee keeping me safe, then I'm happy), I have to rely on freaking benadryl to put me to sleep,or get sh*tfaced on a bong or blunt and get high as hell and fall asleep..... sometimes I just don't wanna feel anything, awhile ago I overdosed on benadryl and I was so numb, rn I'm craving that feeling but can't get it. The pain I try to numb but can't.....it tortures me, really all I want is a daddi or big bro or both that'll lemme b babi 24/7 that doesn't creep me out or isn't 20-30 years older than me, but it's so hard to find and I jus don't know why, I just wanna lose control and become helpless, and have someone there who'll let me be a helpless baby but I'm afraid I'll never find that. I would be truly happy then, either that or if I fall asleep and get real numb then never wake up. But neither of those things are realistic and I don't want to accept it.oh well tho, life's a b*tch and then you die, it's not supposed to be that way but it is. Thank you for your concern and thoughts.

Posted
On 5/23/2018 at 10:56 AM, Misha said:

I firmly believe it shouldn't be assumed that someone has "daddy issues" just because they are a little/middle. I'm also into D/s, petplay, and other kinks. If those kinks don't automatically result in someone assuming it must be because of some childhood trauma or mental problem, why does my involvement in DD/lg have to flip that switch in the minds of others? I can see how it's possible that it might be the case for some people, but I think it's really narrow-minded that so many people think that every little MUST have daddy issues and that's the only reason they are a little. /endrant

 

i firmly agree! there are so many reasons that ddlg can be a part of someones life. i myself have a few reasons of my own beyond it being a kink. That being said, i dont know if it counts as "daddy issues," but i never actually had a father figure myself. before i was adopted by an elderly, twice divorced woman, i had been made to visit a  man cps CLAIMED was my father. no dna tests or anything. keep in mind i dont look anything like this man but he looks exactly like my little half brother. cps was simply desperate to get me out of the system. my bio mom did have issues  w drugs and had a tendency to bring in men that were BEYOND evil. other then that, i never got the paternal care that many did. i dont resent it, but i wonder what my life would have been like if i did have a dad. i do also wonder if that is a small part of why i like ddlg, and if so, is it really a bad thing? wanting a man who cares and wants your happiness shouldnt be a bad thing, even if it is in unconventional ways. so long as its not toxic. 

  • 2 years later...
Posted

I have daddy issues. My dad was an alcoholic, beat my mom, and cheated on her. He died a few years ago.

I'm sure all of this has had a big impact on me. And the fact that I prefer the vanilla and sweet side of DDLG relationships without harsh punishments because it triggers me a lot.

  • Hugs 1
Posted

Trigger Warning - Abuse - 

I like the term parental issues better... 

My "paternal parent issues" (he is not a daddy or father figure to me any more, simple the person who donated his genetic material to create me)... was a very broken man. His family of origin was messed up in the head and then he was lost in the jungles of Vietnam for over a year. I honestly remember him dissociating regularly when talking to him when I was in kindergarten...

Trigger Warning - child abuse

Spoiler

He SA me before I was 3 years old and groomed me to serve others. I remember specific incidents with neighbors and landlords around age 3. He introduced me to pornography and encouraged me to bring other little girls over to show them, too. 

Spoiler

My mom is another story. The women in the family are very manipulative and negative towards their daughters. They belittle and nag them and expect them to be 10 times better at everything. The sons can do no wrong, but the daughters need to take care of their brothers. This creates weaker boys and insecure girls. My mom was/is very sensitive and took the criticism very deeply. My adulthood she was very broken. She had thought she would never find a husband,  but met my dad... he had kids from before and she loved them, so she got pregnant with me while he was divorcing his first wife. They did not get the kids, but they had me. The problem was, I was a girl... no name even picked for a girl... I was born way early and sick... and she was jealous that he paid all this attention to me, and not her. She had 2 more boys in the next 2 years, so she was busy, but it made it worse. They had no money he didn't stay at a job.. there was no food and he was using me, but she was too overwhelmed to see it...

 

My grandparents stepped in to help... moved us back to them... found my mom a job and got us in school... then encouraged them to divorce. My mom went back to college and started drinking... I raised my brothers, and worked, and cleaned the house, and cooked, and went to school, and followed the family dynamic...

My mom is broken. She behaves like a narcissist and I treat her as such, but there's no diagnosis.  It's probably trauma and mental illness more than anything.  She was absent and neglectful as i grew up, because she was in pain and didn't know better.... definitely not excusing the behavior, but giving her grace. 

Trigger Warning - intimate partner abuse

Spoiler

I've also had several severely abusive men in my life. My oldest child was born from violent date rape. When I reported, I was told rape isn't rape when you are dating or married to someone. 

My youngest child's dad has severe bipolar disorder and threatened to take my kids if I didn't marry him. He blocked all my family and friends from my social media accounts, and phone, convinced my doctors and mental health team that I was mentally incompetent to return to work after my child was born, drove over my foot with a car and broke it, refused to let me talk to anyone without him present, refused to let me leave the house, made me stop going to church, cashed in my retirement fund to pay bills. It took me 9 months to create a safety plan to leave him. We spent 3 months in shelter and 2 years in hiding before settling in our new home. He told everyone I was crazy, so I had to move to another community. I'm 9 years out of the relationship,  but 18 months ago he got manic again and everything came back. The police got involved again and the lawyer. My youngest and I are back to heightened trauma levels, weekly therapy (multiple therapies for the kid) double or triple meds for anxiety and regular panic attacks. 

How this effects me in ddlg... I never experienced healthy.  I was trained, groomed, conditioned before I could think for myself to be aware of others' needs, serve others and take care of others. I am naturally submissive,  but also trained to be subservient.  Sounds great... til you know me and realize I'm a very well educated woman who wars within herself over what this means. I desperately want to be loved and accepted, but to actually be in a place where I can do that is something completely different. My logical, reasoning brain says one thing, but my reactions say something else. I get easily triggered from the years of complex trauma and it is so incredibly difficult to trust anyone. Something simple can send me into a trauma spiral for days and I may not even be aware of what I'm doing at the time. I am simply reacting to the trigger. Several days later I may come out of it and feel deep regret, shame, embarrassment or fear from the choices I made during my fear reaction. It's painful in many ways. 

To say I have "Daddy issues" is kinda understating things... 🤷‍♀️  

 

I love this community. I love the authenticity of the people here and the grace shown to me from so many.  I know, personally that I am little and I accepted that as part of who I am. I have stopped trying to figure out why I'm little or how it came to be, because it's simple a part of my personality, my uniqueness as an individual.  Lots of adults enjoy childish things like coloring, Legos, Disney Movies and its ok. (Granted most adults don't sleep in diapers, onesies, and pigtails with a paci and so many stuffies there's hardly room for a person in bed... or drink from adult baby bottle to relax at night...) 

I believe we all have growing up issues, but it's about what we do today that shape tomorrow.  If I sit and focus on the abusive yuckiness as a chain holding me back, then it holds me back. It I instead look at it as something that happened to me that helped make me the awesome amazing person I am today, then I can use it to help others get up and find hope, too.  Compassion and grace are the way forward. 

  • Hugs 1

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...