Rants and Vents

[Babygirl696]

        Hey guys! So I haven't seen a thread like this up yet, maybe there was one, but I didn't find one when I searched. Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to put up a thread that could be purely for ranting or getting things off of our chest. I know a few people,including me, don't really have people to talk to very often, especially not people close enough to vent or rant to. So, this thread will be a safe, nonjudgmental space for anything anyone needs to get off their chest. Not necessarily to be Caregivers, or Littles, just to be people. (Although of course people can rant about any DD/lg related things they might have on their mind!) You may ask for advice from others, or simply state your feelings. I hope you guys like this and use it to your heart's content, enjoy! Here's mine, if anybody is interested in reading it:

 

 

        So, about a month ago, an extremely serious relationship that I was in ended. It had lasted about 2 years, and was a gigantic part of my life for so long, and then one day, it just...ended. I had (quite stupidly) planned my entire future around this person,who we'll call Levi for now. After the breakup, I was fine for a little bit, but lately, I've just kind of.... emotionally shut down. I used to be so easily trusting and would care about people so deeply and easily. But now, it's different. I don't really know how to explain it, but it's like there's this wall around my mind/heart, that's blocking me from fully feeling my emotions, and from letting people in. It's not that I don't care, it's just...muted, I guess. I've honestly never had a wall like that before, and now that I do, I have no clue what to do about it. So uh, yeah. Thanks for listening! If you'd like, feel free to reply or PM me with advice

[Guest SUeB]

There's nothing wrong with putting up a stronger than usual self protection mode. We get hurt, we get scared, we get cynical. But don't let it rule you. Don't allow the behaviour of others dictate your own. Take time to heal, but also try to accept that some people are going to hurt you, but that doesn't mean everyone will. When you close yourself off to the possibility of negative things by hiding away, you also close yourself off to the positive things that can't get through that wall.

[Guest Kerjin]

         So, about a month ago, an extremely serious relationship that I was in ended. It had lasted about 2 years, and was a gigantic part of my life for so long, and then one day, it just...ended. I had (quite stupidly) planned my entire future around this person,who we'll call Levi for now. After the breakup, I was fine for a little bit, but lately, I've just kind of.... emotionally shut down. I used to be so easily trusting and would care about people so deeply and easily. But now, it's different. I don't really know how to explain it, but it's like there's this wall around my mind/heart, that's blocking me from fully feeling my emotions, and from letting people in. It's not that I don't care, it's just...muted, I guess. I've honestly never had a wall like that before, and now that I do, I have no clue what to do about it. So uh, yeah. Thanks for listening! If you'd like, feel free to reply or PM me with advice

 

First, friend request sent.

 

Second, it's normal and natural for people to wall themselves off, such as you have done, after a traumatic breakup, such as you've suffered. I myself have recently gone through the same thing, where a 4-year relationship just up and ended one day. Now, not knowing if this relationship of yours was a DD/lg relationship or a mundane relationship really doesn't matter, although, if it was a DD/lg relationship, this his behavior was inexcusable, IMNSHO. When you enter into a DD/lg relationship as the Daddy, there is an inherent responsibility that you shoulder. Much like being a Dad IRL, you can not shirk your responsibilities or just up and leave. Even if the relationship breaks up with your significant other, you MUST still be there for your children.  I think the important part is a Daddy has to always be on. He cannot take a break. A little never knows when her Lil is gonna come out and need her Daddy.

 

That being said, please remember that this too shall pass. Time heals. Well, it doesn't heal, it just makes it easier to deal with it as the freshness of the pain lessens. One day, you'll meet someone without realizing that you've "met" him and one thing will lead to another and you'll feel yourself starting to care, starting to breathe, starting to live again and this will all be water under the bridge. Until that time little one, hold on, stick with your friends here, allow them to lessen the pain, even if only a little bit, until you are strong enough to be yourself again,

[Babygirl696]

Thank you so much to both of you! Amazing responses, and quite a few things I'd never heard before! I do know that people usually close themselves off, and that it's probably somewhat healthy. I've just never done it before, I've always been an extremely open and caring person, so I don't think I know how to deal with it yet. 

 

 Now, not knowing if this relationship of yours was a DD/lg relationship or a mundane relationship really doesn't matter, although, if it was a DD/lg relationship, this his behavior was inexcusable, IMNSHO. When you enter into a DD/lg relationship as the Daddy, there is an inherent responsibility that you shoulder. Much like being a Dad IRL, you can not shirk your responsibilities or just up and leave. Even if the relationship breaks up with your significant other, you MUST still be there for your children.  I think the important part is a Daddy has to always be on. He cannot take a break. A little never knows when her Lil is gonna come out and need her Daddy.

 

It wasn't a completely DD/lg relationship, but we did have the basics. Levi took care of me like crazy, and we acted a lot like that DD/lg dynamic. Again, thank you so much!

[Daddysbabybunny]

I have posted this earlier on a LDR related topic but im going to post it again due to ranting reasons

 

Shortly after this post, on September 4th my Daddy of 3 years that I am engaged to had to leave the state for work purposes. We live in southern california and he had to fly to virginia and has been there ever since. He works in the army so they have an entire schedule set out for him for every single activity he does. They are very strict and he will get in trouble if he breaks any rules. Whenever he's not in his sleeping environment he's not allowed to have his phone on him so we hardly get to communicate. At most he'll text me once a day and sometimes face time once a day but video chat is never guaranteed. Im allowed to text him but he won't read my messages till it gets dark since his time is 3 hours ahead of mine it makes timing for communication even more difficult. I never call him, I only can wait for him to call me but the lack of communication is killing me. He was supposed to graduate from his training and I was supposed to pick him up from lax on Halloween night, but he got held back and dropped from the class because he tested dirty on his pee test for smoking weed when he was home before he even got there. He is most likely being discharged from the army entirely for this. He tested September 15th and they didnt bother to tell him the results until 2 weeks ago. Now he has to be investigated and evaluated by military lawyers and is stuck there until the sergeants in charge decide to tell him the date he gets to come home. As of now it is unknown to him when he is even able to see me again in person and it breaks my heart and drives me insane not knowing how much longer I have to live communicating with him like this. As a clingy little so many of my needs are unfulfilled and Im even starting to become a bit depressed after coping with his absence for so long. Its very hard for me to be without my Daddy, especially longer than 2 months but Im patient for him because I know if he had his way he would be with me in a heartbeat. If he goes against their rules or shows lack of motivation they threaten him to keep him there longer so he has to stay on top of everything and has no time for me because of it. My family despises the fact that we are in a DDlg relationship and I dont have any little friends so I usually am not able to talk to anyone about all this because everyone else just thinks im too clingy and need to give him space for what he has to do. Its very hard being love deprived and ive spent many nights crying over him, but it will be worth it to finally be with him in his arms forever again.

 

Sorry that story was so long