A sad little (possible trigger warning?)

[fragilelittlelilly]

Hello!

 

I am quite new here so I should probably introduce myself first I am Lilly, I am 24 and I recently started embracing my little side (though I am not new to the bdsm/ddlg lifestyle). I'm a switch, mainly submissive, and more specifically a middle. I am in a long distance relationship with someone that I love very much and he is my Dom. But... there is something I really struggle with. 

 

I suffer from depression, anxiety and c-ptsd. Especially lately my mental health has been going downhill... Every time I get another wave of intense depression, something changes in me and I feel very little. I need to be taken care of, I feel very scared and alone, like a little girl who needs guidance and protection. Sadly Sir and I don't live in the same country so it is hard for him to help me through these feelings. I know that all I need is a long hug from him but I can't have it. So, I decided I should probably change the way I experience little space and turn it from a sad mindset to a happy mindset. I have been trying to get in touch with other littles, but it's been hard to find people who share the same interests as me.

 

So, I decided to write here...and ask you a few questions. If some of you could answer that would be SO helpful! I guess my biggest question is whether there are other people like me out there. Do you feel little when you are depressed and lonely? How do you deal with it? Is there anything that comforts you the most? 

 

Thank you so much if you read all this and I'd really appreciate it if you could answer. I hope you're having a great day   

Edited September 2, 2019 by SillyLilly

[Cara Innes]

I think one of the most magical things about being a Little or a Middle is the invitation that it gives us, to enjoy the moment.  

And not just the moment, but being *ourselves*, whoever we are, inside that moment. Because each one of us is different and special, and so, when we're Little, we can all be Littles in our own special way.

I *am* careful to validate my sad feelings (because it really IS okay to be sad sometimes. And whenever you're depressed, you should be gentle with yourself: the same that you would be if you were physically hurt).

But, we can always try to feel another way if we like.  

I tell myself, "I'm a Middle right now! So I will give myself permission to delay all of my sadness and worry about other stuff until later."

Try to fill the time that you have in that mindset with as many simple pleasures as you feel like -- whether that's with a story or ice cream or bubbles or a cartoon show or coloring or crafts or anything!

And please don't feel bad if you try, but can't manage to be happy; or if you're too busy at the moment to try to enjoy yourself. Depression is difficult, it can be like trying to ride out a storm; and trying to feel different doesn't always work -- it's just as likely that I won't manage it either...

And so, when I can't manage to be happy, I settle for being brave. Because being brave is something that I can be whether I'm happy or sad or anything else.

(( And, maybe you could get a plushie that could represent your Dom? And then, when you realllllly want to hug your Dom, you could call him or text him and talk with him while hugging the plushie, and tell him that you're hugging the plushie sooooo tight, because you're pretending it's him? n_n ))

That's all that I can think of that might help. I hope at least some of it does! 

Edited September 2, 2019 by Cara Innes

[VioletPinkie]

Yeah I’ve been dealing with a lot the past year. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and died within 5 months. I often regress when I smell certain smells or hear certain songs. I get super depressed and don’t know how to deal with my emotions.

 

Usually crying it out helps and removing myself from the trigger. Then a distraction of some sort to bring me back up. Usually cute animal videos.

[fragilelittlelilly]

Thank you both for you replies <3