Zachary S. Posted March 19, 2020 Report Posted March 19, 2020 So, I need some help and I don't know how to put this out there without sounding like an asshole or something. I'll try my best and honest responses will probably help the best rather than just responses that attack what I post... Anyways, a bit of a backstort, I've been living with this girl for a year now but we've been dating for two. Over the course of the two years we've been together, we have gotten into countless fights and have broken up and got back together and argued and criticized each other; however, somehow we manage to find a conclusion and get back together. When I mean we, I mean I'm always the one, no matter the arguement, that has to apologize profuseley until she accepts it. I can't help it though because we both love each other and she's super close to my family and my mom loves her. With all of this stuff happening, I feel as if my connection with this girl has gotten to the point where if we fight or argue one more time, I'm going to leave and never come back. The problem with that, though, is that I have no where to go. My mom has told me that if I break this girl's heart, she won't want anything to do with me. My grandma is just in a position to where she can't handle me moving in and my dad is moving an hour away so moving there just isn't viable. I don't have any friends I can move in with since they go to college and live at home, so basically I'm stuck here, it feels like. Moving in by myself would be fine but with this whole virus thing going around, I can't work at my job because they shut us down. It also would be very hard to find a new job because of all this happening so at the moment, it just isn't a viable option. Now, her and I have some interests but when it comes to lifestyles, she isn't into anything kinky, DDLG related or BDSM related. She also criticizes me for wanting to hang out with friends like when I play video gamea or go out to hang out with them. She also doesn't trust me in the slightest. I also feel like she's angry oe upset with me once or twice every single day for the slightest thing; like if I say or do the wrong thing like not giving her a hug when I wake up or something like that. I have no idea what I should do and I have no one else to talk to about this so I figured I would post about it here and see what kind of responses I get. Thank you for reading and being understanding.
Tasherz Posted March 19, 2020 Report Posted March 19, 2020 Hi there! Gonna start this by saying that I clearly don't know everything and what I say may not be that much help. But I think you should take some time and decide if this is the kind of relationship for you, is it worth fighting for and all the effort you put in. If the answer is yes then keep fighting. If the answer is no, then maybe start looking at options but don't rush out of things... or talk to her tell her what you want in a relationship and maybe you can figure something out together. Not sure if any of this helps but feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat! -Tasha
baby_k Posted March 19, 2020 Report Posted March 19, 2020 This situation won't last forever, so I wouldn't worry so much about it. Moving out anyhow hardly ever can be done in over night. You say she gets upset easily, that normally means the person is sort of like in panic mode. Meaning that their deeper needs are not met, and they start to get grumpy, angry and upset over "ridiculous" things. In reality those people don't feel well because of something, and sometimes can be hard to figure out what it is even for them. This sort of thing often happens for example when connection or trust is lost in the rel, so the getting angry/upset is just a symptom of something deeper. When person for instance feels alone in the rel, they can react in this sort of manner and bitch about "random" things such as who took the trash out last time even they actually are feeling unloved and scared ( and no, normally people don't realise this themselves ).
Little_girl92 Posted March 19, 2020 Report Posted March 19, 2020 I don't really know what to advise you to do, But I will focus on that part with your mother. I would be pretty hurt if one of my parents talked to me like that, obviously I do not know everything about this situation, but I think that you should have a serious talk with your mother if that is possible and if you feel that you can handle it. Other than that a serious talk with your girlfriend where both of you try to sit down and give the other person time to speak their mind without interrupting would properly be a good idea, maybe it can help your guys to find out why there end up being so many conflicts in your relationship. I really do hope that you find the solution that are best for you.
Guardian_Witcher Posted March 19, 2020 Report Posted March 19, 2020 Short term, do what you have to, to be okay and have a place to stay. Long term, this relationship isn't healthy. I don't know if you sometimes do things to apologize for, but you are walking on eggshells seemingly and apologizing too much most likely. That's not what a good partner does to you. Your family will get over it, and they also may not know who she really is. You want a partner that loves you and lifts you up, makes you feel whole. Someone you are happy to wake up to and for, and makes you happy all day. This doesn't sound like that kind of relationship. If your relationship is mostly perfect, you feel loved, excited, then I might give different advice. But from the little i've heard... this is not a healthy relationship. So don't stay and get out when you finally can. I stayed too long in a relationship, and i felt like a jojo, like you do. Always feeling sad, finding excuses, maybe after x, then y, then z issue/event/cause/reason, then things will get better. But they never did. And then I found people who loved me for me, who didn't make fun of me or made me feel bad. And someone who loves all that I am, just like I love all that she is. You aren't losing a relationship exactly, you are preventing yourself from finding a healthy loving exciting one. So, once this time of troubles is over and you can move out, move out and find better people and your special someone who likes you for you. Be good, accept good, create good. Best wishes. 1
LittleTeacup Posted March 20, 2020 Report Posted March 20, 2020 So, I need some help and I don't know how to put this out there without sounding like an asshole or something. I'll try my best and honest responses will probably help the best rather than just responses that attack what I post... Anyways, a bit of a backstort, I've been living with this girl for a year now but we've been dating for two. Over the course of the two years we've been together, we have gotten into countless fights and have broken up and got back together and argued and criticized each other; however, somehow we manage to find a conclusion and get back together. When I mean we, I mean I'm always the one, no matter the arguement, that has to apologize profuseley until she accepts it. I can't help it though because we both love each other and she's super close to my family and my mom loves her. With all of this stuff happening, I feel as if my connection with this girl has gotten to the point where if we fight or argue one more time, I'm going to leave and never come back. The problem with that, though, is that I have no where to go. My mom has told me that if I break this girl's heart, she won't want anything to do with me. My grandma is just in a position to where she can't handle me moving in and my dad is moving an hour away so moving there just isn't viable. I don't have any friends I can move in with since they go to college and live at home, so basically I'm stuck here, it feels like. Moving in by myself would be fine but with this whole virus thing going around, I can't work at my job because they shut us down. It also would be very hard to find a new job because of all this happening so at the moment, it just isn't a viable option. Now, her and I have some interests but when it comes to lifestyles, she isn't into anything kinky, DDLG related or BDSM related. She also criticizes me for wanting to hang out with friends like when I play video gamea or go out to hang out with them. She also doesn't trust me in the slightest. I also feel like she's angry oe upset with me once or twice every single day for the slightest thing; like if I say or do the wrong thing like not giving her a hug when I wake up or something like that. I have no idea what I should do and I have no one else to talk to about this so I figured I would post about it here and see what kind of responses I get. Thank you for reading and being understanding. I'm a bit confused. I read your story and was thinking how to respond, and went to the Personals section to idly see what's new and saw you have a personal ad that claims you don't have any partner. https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/46602-experienced-loyal-daddy-looking/ Name: Zach Age: 22 Role(s): Daddy/Dominant/Master Location: Midwest, USA Experience: 4+ Years Orientation: Straight Current Partners: None (I am Monogamous) So which is it? You don't have a partner or you've been with a girlfriend for two years? You also say you have 4+ years daddy dom experience in the ad yet your girlfriend in this story isn't into kink. Those two facts don't match up. Please clear this up for us! 1
Zachary S. Posted March 20, 2020 Author Report Posted March 20, 2020 I'm a bit confused. I read your story and was thinking how to respond, and went to the Personals section to idly see what's new and saw you have a personal ad that claims you don't have any partner. https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/46602-experienced-loyal-daddy-looking/ So which is it? You don't have a partner or you've been with a girlfriend for two years? You also say you have 4+ years daddy dom experience in the ad yet your girlfriend in this story isn't into kink. Those two facts don't match up. Please clear this up for us! Shits been off and on and I put it up because I've been missing that part of my life for a while. Also, she knew about this part of me and she accepted it but she also doesn't approve of it. Lastly, just because I'm not currently daddy to a little doesn't mean I haven't been part of the lifestyle, community and have taken part in certain activities related to DDLG, doesn't mean I don't have experience.
LittleTeacup Posted March 20, 2020 Report Posted March 20, 2020 Ok, I still think you should disclose you're involved with someone in your ad though. It's dishonest and you could hurt those looking for a relationship with you thinking you don't have another partner when you're really on and off with someone else. And if your current partner doesn't know you're searching for someone else before you've officially once and for all broken up with her, sorry to say but that's cheating. Being part of the community doesn't translate to experience. I only questioned the 4+ years experience because if you're 22 then those years are the entire time since you turned 18 and clearly you've spent a large portion of that time with a vanilla partner. In my mind and many others' "experience" means actual time spent with littles and not just wishing you were. Now maybe every time you're "off" with your gf you go find yourself a temporary little, but I think this part of your ad needs some specifics to avoid misleading anybody. You clearly aren't into this girlfriend anymore and from the sound of it, she might not be into you anymore either. Break up and if you have to continue living together for the meantime then so be it. When my aunt and uncle got divorced there was a period of time before my aunt got another place when they lived as roommates with separate bedrooms. A good friend of mine also broke up with her boyfriend who she was living with and they continued to live together until the lease ran out. It's common and respectable.
neko Posted March 21, 2020 Report Posted March 21, 2020 She sounds verbally abusive and manipulative. I dont know what country you're in but have you looked into any kind of government assistance? There's usually a few resources for spouses that are trying to leave an abusive relationship. I wish you the best
neko Posted March 21, 2020 Report Posted March 21, 2020 You clearly aren't into this girlfriend anymore and from the sound of it, she might not be into you anymore either. Break up and if you have to continue living together for the meantime then so be it. It's definitely easier said than done. From what I've read (obviously it isn't much to go off of) this gf sounds like the type to manipulate him into staying in the relationship through any means, so if he wanted to break up he'd probably need to pack up and leave first, imo.
LittleTeacup Posted March 21, 2020 Report Posted March 21, 2020 It's definitely easier said than done. From what I've read (obviously it isn't much to go off of) this gf sounds like the type to manipulate him into staying in the relationship through any means, so if he wanted to break up he'd probably need to pack up and leave first, imo. I suppose that could be true. I was just thinking more that if he wants to say he's single on a personal he should officially break up first. But I agree the girlfriend here sounds shady. Perhaps moving back with his parents is the quickest way out, although he says his mom will practically disown him (which is hard to believe but I've heard stranger stories about parents).
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