New mommy needing help

[YoongiLover]

So I’ve been a mommy to this cute little boy for about a month now. We have a LDR. The first two weeks were great, we were talking and having fun but the third week hit and for some reason everything went downhill from there. He doesn’t really text me anymore, he’s always on his computer playing games and I tell him to get off and talk to me or even go draw or something since he’s been in there for 9 hours but he never listens to me. I try to sweet talk to him first but he’s always like NO! And then I try saying things like “do it or ur gonna get a punishment sweetie” and he’s always like you can’t make me do anything since we’re not even in the same state, but it’s not even that. It just sometimes feels like he doesn’t want me as a caregiver anymore, I mean he rarely slips around me anyways. I honestly don’t know what to do.

 

Got any suggestions?

[Little kaiya]

Honestly it sounds like he's moved on. If he isn't going to listen and just give you attitude then it would seem he isnt really very interested, these things do happen. I'd recommend an adult to adult meta talk and determine if you are both still sincerely invested. If not then you can both move forward and find people who will e invested in a relationship.

[YoongiLover]

We did and he said that he loves me very much and that he really wants me to be his caregiver and that he’ll try to text me more but it hasn’t changed, it’s actually gotten worse. He doesn’t really give me attitude anymore but that’s mostly because we rarely talk. Before we used to talk a bit but then now I text him in the morning saying hi but he texts me back around 6 or even 8 pm saying that he’s tired and that he’ll text me back but he doesn’t. It sorta feels like I’m the only one putting some effort into this...

[Guest Sassy.Little.Princess17]

I feel like a big talk is needed. And you need to be absolutely sure that he wants to be with you. I hat to say it... but... I feel like if he continues to do what he's doing, you might just need to break things off...

[Guest NonServiam]

CG/L or otherwise, when someone talks about how much they'll change and follows up with absolutely no effort or desire to change, you might not be able to trust their words on it.  Follow through is such an important part of communication, and without it it'll just ring hollow.  I've made similar mistakes, without giving the issue due thought, and it can cause a lot of distress if it's not confronted.  It absolutely sounds like you're the only one putting any work into this, and that's not fair to you.  Don't forget about your own needs.

[MysticSand]

I agree with the above posters. This may not be relevant, but I'm curious as to how long you've known each other before officially entering into CG/L.

It sounds like a friendship wasn't established before entering CG/L and though it can work for some, it's risky to not have that foundation to fall back on if CG/L roles aren't working.

 

To reiterate above posters, actions speak louder than words.

Be confident to initiate another talk or love yourself enough to know that things aren't working out and it's time to move on.

[YoongiLover]

I agree with the above posters. This may not be relevant, but I'm curious as to how long you've known each other before officially entering into CG/L.

It sounds like a friendship wasn't established before entering CG/L and though it can work for some, it's risky to not have that foundation to fall back on if CG/L roles aren't working.

 

To reiterate above posters, actions speak louder than words.

Be confident to initiate another talk or love yourself enough to know that things aren't working out and it's time to move on.

[YoongiLover]

We weren’t really friends before but I thought we could become friends while we were CG/L. We met on an app called amino and we were role playing and we got out of role playing mode cuz he was having some problems with his boyfriend and we talked about it, I gave him some advice and then he said that he didn’t have a CG and I volunteered cuz I honestly love taking care of Littles and I’ve actually been looking for one. I guess I’m just afraid that if I break it off it’ll hurt him and that I’ll be bored and lonely again..

[Little kaiya]

Relationships, whether romantic or platonic, should be positive experiences for ALL parties in a relationship, not just one. It's nice that you don't want to hurt him but it sounds like he doesn't really have that concern or respect for you as he IS currently hurting you even after you both talked.

 

Also, I can understand not wanting to be bored or lonely but staying in a bad relationship to avoid those things sounds even more harmful and unfair to yourself. You deserve to be happy and if you stay in a Cg/l relationship with this person you may miss a future opportunity to be in a MUTUALLY positive relationship with another little.

 

Don't sell yourself short and settle for something less than you want or deserve.