What are some of the best parts of a DDLG relationship?

[kit.kat.babe]

Edited July 21, 2020 by kit.kat.babe

[Guest lilchug]

Welcome to the community! I get you although I have a very good relationship with my father. I can't stand when my father is trying to be controlling (he rarely is), but I feel the need for my Daddy to be domineering and controlling. So, you're fine! I'm not a brat, but I can't follow rules to save my life. That being said, I don't go all the way out to test my Daddy's patience. The best part about Ddlg relationship for me is I'm very comfortable being vulnerable to my Daddy. I'm very trusting and often times ended up getting hurt. But once you find the special Daddy, it's so worth it! I'm a people pleaser, so it helps me feel better when I make him happy

[kit.kat.babe]

Welcome to the community! I get you although I have a very good relationship with my father. I can't stand when my father is trying to be controlling (he rarely is), but I feel the need for my Daddy to be domineering and controlling. So, you're fine! I'm not a brat, but I can't follow rules to save my life. That being said, I don't go all the way out to test my Daddy's patience. The best part about Ddlg relationship for me is I'm very comfortable being vulnerable to my Daddy. I'm very trusting and often times ended up getting hurt. But once you find the special Daddy, it's so worth it! I'm a people pleaser, so it helps me feel better when I make him happy

Yes I would say that I am most apprehensive to being controlled because of the negative connotations I have in my head about where that has lead me in the past with my father. He was never physically abusive, so thankfully I’m not triggered by that, but cursing at me and loud voices and standing over me when I’m being punished are all things that trigger me. Idk how that could be managed in a DDLG/BDSM relationship but I know I am looking to date in that lifestyle. I would rather the daddy act more as a caregiver than a parent, so it will be interesting to see how that all plays out in real life. I know I need rules and structure, but I want it all to have purpose. If my daddy doesn’t really know why he is having me do anything that he asks of me, then I find that very silly to me.

[Nymph]

I think the first step is to stop comparing your father to your daddy. I know the name makes it sound confusing but is more of an endearing nickname for Doms that are sweet and caring for the most part, some have more of a caregiver streak and will do very light discipline, some are more of a dom and will be more strict and a bit harsher/sadistic, a few out there are not doms at all and are happy with spoiling their little and to certain extent, serving them... a daddy/CG is not intended to replace your father regardless if he was amazing or terrible person, they are usually your friend/lover/companion and have nothing to do with your parents.

 

Since you are just testing the waters you probably have been reading stuff here and there and probably came across roleplaying and has you a bit mixed up. In that scenario it's just playing out a fantasy and it's usually purely sexual, which is cool if you find it's your thing but most people on this forum are into the lifestyle aspect.

 

You need to find what works for you and your partner, but for that you need to know yourself first we are pretty open minded so feel free to ask about anything that makes you curious!

 

As for your question, I kinda don't have an answer, because I've never had a relationship that was not this. I've had relationships where the label was not used but it was still the same dynamic because that is what I am attracted to and what my partners like in me if that makes sense? The best part about actually using the labels is that your partner has a pretty clear idea of what you like and can be more daring in the kinky department or will not get too shocked when you pull a stunt in bed XD

 

I think also for the discipline part, they will understand that sometimes it's not a sexual thing but something you need. I am very submissive and enjoy being treated as a pet or a slave sometimes, with some degradation even. However I am very independent and strong willed (no, I am not a brat) so I cant be submissive to someone I do not respect and admire... so if I see someone barking random orders around I am turned off because it's plain silly and sad behavior.

[kit.kat.babe]

I think the first step is to stop comparing your father to your daddy. I know the name makes it sound confusing but is more of an endearing nickname for Doms that are sweet and caring for the most part, some have more of a caregiver streak and will do very light discipline, some are more of a dom and will be more strict and a bit harsher/sadistic, a few out there are not doms at all and are happy with spoiling their little and to certain extent, serving them... a daddy/CG is not intended to replace your father regardless if he was amazing or terrible person, they are usually your friend/lover/companion and have nothing to do with your parents.

 

Since you are just testing the waters you probably have been reading stuff here and there and probably came across roleplaying and has you a bit mixed up. In that scenario it's just playing out a fantasy and it's usually purely sexual, which is cool if you find it's your thing but most people on this forum are into the lifestyle aspect.

 

You need to find what works for you and your partner, but for that you need to know yourself first we are pretty open minded so feel free to ask about anything that makes you curious!

 

As for your question, I kinda don't have an answer, because I've never had a relationship that was not this. I've had relationships where the label was not used but it was still the same dynamic because that is what I am attracted to and what my partners like in me if that makes sense? The best part about actually using the labels is that your partner has a pretty clear idea of what you like and can be more daring in the kinky department or will not get too shocked when you pull a stunt in bed XD

 

I think also for the discipline part, they will understand that sometimes it's not a sexual thing but something you need. I am very submissive and enjoy being treated as a pet or a slave sometimes, with some degradation even. However I am very independent and strong willed (no, I am not a brat) so I cant be submissive to someone I do not respect and admire... so if I see someone barking random orders around I am turned off because it's plain silly and sad behavior.

Thank you! This has been most helpful! i really struggle to not see my future daddy as a version of my father because that is the only father figure I currently have, and he and I don’t get along very well. I assume since I want to be submissive by nature like you were saying, that it won’t feel the same when I am being structured or given rules by my daddydom. I know this is what I want, and I see really good examples. Unfortunately they are rare so I just hope I find a real daddydom that will actually not only structure me and give me good rules and show his dom side too, but be a caring daddy that wants to set goals with me and train with me in all aspects of life (emotional, physical, and mentally) to overcome fears and worries I have built up like a wall because of how I was treated by my father.

Don’t get me wrong. I respect my father wholeheartedly, but he doesn’t reciprocate that respect and so it’s like this crushing of hope feelings I get inside everytime i think our interactions are starting to get better.

That’s why I worry and ask questions. I’m not trying to seek attention. I’m trying to seek comfort and stability in what I am curious about.

I know BDSM & DDLG is what I’m meant for because I never felt right in any of my vanilla relationships. I want the dominance. I think it seems like a security blanket lol like if I know my bf is caregiving and dominant all in one, I will feel safe in his arms and hopefully can get to the place of sharing everything about me.

Edited July 21, 2020 by kit.kat.babe